Life Won't Wait
by Belle Vita
Summary: Jack's always needed something to fix, and Kate's always thought she's needed fixing. They meet just when Jack's father is seemingly growing out of the picture and Kate's mother is surprisingly reentering.
1. Sure Thing Falling

**Here it goes... hope you like it!**

Chapter One: Sure Thing Falling

"Shit," he muttered, already frustrated with himself. Jack Shephard was struggling, a trait he just wasn't used to.

Only fifteen minutes had passed since he sat down to study for his biochemistry class. Now in his senior year at Columbia, his pre med classes up to this point had generally been easy for him. The high level classes had always come naturally to him, until now, during the first semester of his last year of pre med.

Of course, Jack's definition of struggling was what some others could only hope for. He was passing the class, albeit with a C-, the lowest grade he'd ever had during his four years of college. It wasn't so much the grade he was worried about- it was his upcoming MCATs. In order to get accepted into a top medical school, he had to do better in biochemistry.

Jack put his pen down and stared blankly at the textbook in front of him. He'd tried every technique that had ever worked for him, but nothing seemed to help with this particular subject.

He heard a rap on his bedroom door, and one of his roommates, Marc walked through.

"Hey man, we're going to grab some dinner, want to come?" he asked happily, unaware of Jack's current mood.

"No," he glared.

"What's your problem? Saint Jack still not getting an A+?" he joked. "You don't have to be perfect at everything," Marc said as he leaned against the doorway.

Jack knew he was right. He knew it was likely that he would do fairly well on the MCATs, but that just wasn't good enough. But that wasn't how he was brought up, how he was taught. Jack was expected to do phenomenally, was expected to get into a great medical school. Even more, he was expected to be a great doctor. It was the family business, after all.

"You don't understand, Marc. I have to do better in biochemistry, I just have to. It's definitely on the MCATs, and I can't afford to fuck those up. I can't," he emphasized.

"Man, you've been studying non stop for a few weeks. It's still not coming any easier to you?" he questioned.

Jack shook his head. He was past the point of knowing what to do. "I have a meeting with my advisor in the morning, maybe she can tell me what to do," he explained, rubbing his hands across his tired and bleary eyes.

"Maybe I'll come to dinner, I need to eat anyway." He rose from his desk chair, stretching his arms above his head. Jack lived with two of his friends, Marc and Luke, and Marc's girlfriend Sammie in a house close to campus. They went to dinner, and Jack found himself actually relaxing for the first time in a while.

When they returned back to the house, he wasn't ready to return to the miserable forecast of biochemistry, so when the guys wanted to watch the game, he accepted. Soon one beer became two, and two became eight. He stumbled to his bed, and noticed that he had left his cell phone in his room the whole night. Listening to his voicemails, he sighed at how predictable his life had become. One from his advisor, confirming their meeting in the morning, one from his boss at the hospital he volunteered at, and unfortunately, one from his father.

"Jack, it's your father," the voice boomed. "I was just checking up on you, I hope you're not answering your phone because you're busy studying. Please call me; I have something I need to discuss with you." The voicemail clicked off and he snapped his phone shut.

There was no need to talk to his father tonight. It was late, but more importantly, he was drunk. That surely wouldn't go over well with the old man, although it wouldn't surprise him is his father was drunk as well. Setting his alarm, he crawled into bed, cursing himself for indulging since he had to get up early in the morning for the meeting, then had a full day of classes and volunteering after those.

After downing several cups of coffee, Jack had managed to make it to his advisor's office just in time, signing in and eventually being called into the small room.

"Jack," Ms. Crawford greeted him cheerily. "How's everything going?" Like she didn't know how everything was going, he sarcastically said to himself. The scowl on his face must have said it all.

"Listen Jack, I know things haven't been going as well as they have previously," she said, motioning for him to sit down across from her. "But frankly, I was starting to wonder if you were anything less than perfect! A lot of students struggle with this class, so you're not the only one," she finished, lacing her hands together in front of her on her desktop.

"Ms. Crawford, I got an A+ in Organic Chemistry, but I'm barely pulling a C in biochemistry?" he questioned.

"I know, I know," she soothed. "But this doesn't mean that you can't pull that grade up. We're four weeks into the semester, and you still have quite a bit of time to fix that."

He shifted in his seat. What idea could Ms. Crawford have that he hadn't thought of? "And how do you propose I do that? I've tried everything I can think of."

"That's why you're here, Jack. Because I'm your advisor, and I'm supposed to, well, advise you when you're having problems…" she trailed off.

"And," he said impatiently.

Her eyes darted back and forth as they looked into his. He wasn't going to like this. "Well, there's always tutoring, Jack. I really think it's worth trying, since working more with your professor hasn't."

"No," he said automatically. "I can get through this, I know I can. I just have to have some more time to think about it."

"Jack, frankly, you can't waste time here. Sure, it's a long semester, but I know that your main concern is the MCATs. And yes, you can take it more than once, but everyone knows that doesn't necessarily look good on your records. So I just want you to try this for me. If it doesn't work, by all means, try your own methods once again."

He sighed audibly. "I really don't want to do this," he stressed.

"Please just try, Jack. You never know what could come of this. And like I said, if you don't like it, or don't feel like it's helping you, you can stop. I'm not forcing you to do this."

The way she was explaining it, there was practically no way he could say no. "I don't like getting help from other people," he tried. Any way he could get out of this.

"It's okay to ask for help, Jack. It's really in your best interest, anyway. Upholding your ego isn't what you should be thinking about right now. Your future is what's at stake," Ms. Crawford stated firmly.

"You're stubborn. I know that. And I can respect that. You're a good student Jack, but you're not perfect, because no one is. I'll actually think more of you if you seek the help you need."

Jack nodded in defeat, watching as Ms. Crawford scrawled a name and address on a small piece of paper. She slid it toward him across the desk. "I want you to go to this place. I've sent several of my students there and have heard nothing but good things from them. You'll have several tutors that can help you there, as there are several that specialize in the sciences," she explained.

"When am I supposed to do this?"

"I'll give them a call right now, how about it?" He nodded towards her as she looked up the phone number from her computer and dialed.

A short conversation later, Jack had his appointment. Tomorrow morning. He had to meet with a tutor named Brinton. _Sounds like a prick_, Jack thought to himself. He begrudgingly thanked Ms. Crawford and proceeded with the rest of his long day, which wasn't helped at all by the fact that he had a biochemistry lecture.

The next morning he headed to his scheduled tutor time, hesitantly pushing the doors open to the large brick building. He remembered that he'd had a physics lecture here his freshman year. He walked up a set of stairs to the room number that was scratched on the paper, and was met with a large room in front of him, with 4 rows of tables set up.

A short man with high-water khaki pants and his shoelaces dragging awkwardly beneath him approached Jack. "You must be Jack," he said, sticking his hand out to shake it. "I'm Brinton, by the way," he laughed awkwardly.

Jack followed him to a table in the back of the room, as Brinton motioned for him to take a seat. "So," he posed. "What do you need help with, exactly?"

"Biochemistry," Jack mumbled.

"Oh, this shouldn't be too hard then," he answered smugly. "Took that course two years ago. Piece of cake."

Jack looked quizzically at him. "Yeah, well not for me. And I don't want to be here, don't make this any harder than it needs to be."

"Fine. Let's get started then." Jack got his books out of the bag he'd brought with him, laying them out on the table.

Twenty minutes later, Jack's sanity had been challenged with Brinton and his arrogant ways. He had insulted Jack's intelligence countless times, and had even laughed in his face when he'd answered a question incorrectly.

Jack suddenly stood up from the table, gathering his books in a quick fashion. "I've had enough of this, Brinton," he emphasized. "Thanks for all of your help," he said sarcastically.

As he reached the staircase a voice rang out to him. "Wait," it said. He thought about ignoring it, to keep walking. But it definitely wasn't Brinton asking him to wait.

He turned around, and came face to face with a brunette, her green eyes fixed on his brown. "Yeah?" he asked hesitantly.

"You were working with Brinton?" she asked, rolling her eyes in the process.

Jack nodded in response, getting the sense he wasn't the only one who'd had problems with the guy.

"He's a bit of a jerk, don't you think?" she whispered.

He laughed in response. "Yeah, that's a safe assumption."

"I could help you… if you wanted," she stated. "I mean, I'm no Brinton, but I know my way around science," she joked.

This girl was stunningly beautiful, but in a natural kind of way. There was no way in hell he was going to make a fool out of himself in front of her. "Nah," he replied. "I think I'll figure it out on my own."

To his horror, the girl started laughing in his face, her expression scrunching up. "No offense, but I heard some of your answers. You need help."

"Yeah, well," he began, embarrassed that she had heard him. "It's this one class. I don't know why, but I just don't get it," he tried to explain.

She backed her hands up to her shoulders, as if to say no explanation necessary. "I'm not here to judge you, uhhh," she fumbled with her words.

"Jack," he helped her out.

"I'm not here to judge you, Jack," she smiled widely at him. "Come on," she pleaded in a sing song voice.

Jack looked her up and down. She had to be younger than him. What could she possibly know about biochemistry?

"Look, I'm not trying to cause problems, but have you actually taken this class?"

"Yeah, actually." He looked surprised.

"I know, I look younger, right?" she questioned. "I'm a junior, so you're partly right. But I've taken every possible science class that I could that will count towards my degree, now I'm just working on the math."

"And?" Jack posed.

"And what?"

Her body language was surprisingly forward and relaxed considering the fact that Jack was practically interrogating her and had found that he sometimes intimidated people. Oddly enough the situation seemed to be reversed.

"And what degree are we talking about here?"

"Oh, I'm pre vet." She noticed how skeptical he looked. "Jack, just give it a chance. I can't be any worse than Brinton, can I?"

"I'm just not into the tutoring thing," he tried once again. If anything, this girl was persistent. And beautiful. And seemed to be flirting him at an odd angle.

"Fine. Big man on campus, right? Don't want to be proven wrong?" she challenged, her hands braced on both handrails either side of the stairs. He was looking up at her, as she figuratively and literally had the upper hand on the situation.

Jack chuckled at her aggressiveness. "No, you're exactly right, actually," he said, surprising even himself.

"Well, you know where to find me," she smiled, and turned around to leave.

"Hey," he said, as she stopped in her tracks and turned around again. "I never caught your name."

She laughed lightly. "I never offered it, did I?" she said coyly, turning on her heel and heading back into the tutor room.

"See ya later, Jack," she called out from in front of him.

**Drop a review, let me know what you think and if I should continue!**


	2. Where is the Line?

**Not as sure about this, but please let me know what you think!**

Chapter Two: Where is the Line?

She was spacing out again, which had been happening more and more lately. Kate Austen, by all means, was a dreamer. When she had entered college over two years ago, she almost surprised herself when she declared a major in the sciences- a subject where almost everything could be explained by facts. There wasn't much guesswork involved.

However, she always found herself dreaming about how her life would turn out, if what she was working towards now would actually develop. Part of her dreaming was of a different life- if only she could forget her past, or better yet, invent a new one. Deep down Kate knew that she couldn't change her childhood, and her only chance of changing her supposedly inevitable future was to stay on the track she was on now.

"Kate?" her tutoring student asked her, bringing her out of her trance.

"Oh, jeez Mike, I'm sorry. What were you saying?" She silently cursed herself for thinking about him again. She hardly knew anything, other than his name was Jack, and well, he was gorgeous. And apparently bad at biochemistry. But those were hardly standards for someone sticking in her mind for so long.

It had been over a week since their encounter, and Kate found herself disappointed that he hadn't returned to the tutoring center. _'I'm sure he was flirting back,'_ she thought to herself.

Her outgoing and obvious flirtation towards Jack was something she had been going over in her mind since it happened. Normally she tended to act shy around guys she found attractive. In general she waited for men to put the moves on her.

"So yeah, you have to find some way to explain how the metamorphosis happened. Try to explain what physical and chemical changes occurred that allowed the overall change to take place. Is that clear enough?" she finished, and on Mike's nod, ended their tutoring session.

Kate turned around to the filing cabinet to put Mike's files away, and felt a presence behind her. "We're actually closed-" she started, whipping her body around.

"Umm, hey," Jack cleared his throat, suddenly having the urge to look down at his feet.

"Oh, hey," she said shyly.

"Well, I'll just go," he stuttered. "Since you're closed and everything."

She smiled slightly at him. "Yeah. Sorry." Why were the words coming so hard now?

He took a few steps back. "Maybe I'll try another day?" he questioned, waiting for confirmation that she wanted him to come back.

"Sounds good."

He closed the door behind him, and Kate smacked her hand against her forehead.

"Jesus, Kate," she muttered. "He'll never come back now, with you acting like a twelve year old," she criticized herself.

He paced around outside the door, debating on whether or not to head back inside. What would he even say when he went back in? Losing all thought, he opened the door again quietly. Jack stood quietly and watched her pass judgment on herself.

"Okay, I realize I don't even know your name, or anything about you. And I don't normally do this," he rambled. "But you're the first person who's offered to help me with this without being a total asshole."

She turned around, her face flushed with embarrassment. "Yeah, like I said, I'd be happy to help you out."

Jack hesitated, and then took a step forward. "So, I'm pretty busy for the next few days and won't have time to come in. But the thing is I have a big quiz coming up the day after tomorrow. … And as you can probably guess, I'm nowhere near ready for it," he almost pleading.

"What are you trying to ask me?" she teased. _'There we go,'_ she thought. She had somehow managed to return to her previous flirtatious mood.

_'Jesus, she's hard to read,' _Jack mused.

"Well, I was just wondering if maybe you could help me. Like now?"

"Oh," she replied, almost startled.

With a wave of his hands Jack said, "No, no. Forget about it. I understand."

"I was just going to say that we could go to the diner across the street. I happen to be free now."

She laughed out loud when she saw a look of relief wash over his stubble covered chin. He was really that worried she'd say no?

"Yeah, I guess that could work," he breathed.

"Okay then."

"Well, under one condition," he said, eyebrows raised. She paused, waiting for him to continue. "I will need to know your name," Jack teased.

"Right," she giggled. "Kate Austen. Jack, right?"

"Shepard," he finished. Reaching out to shake her hand, he realized how trivial and awkward it felt.

"Now that we've been properly introduced, let's go, what do you say?"

"Lead the way," he replied, motioning her ahead with his hand.

The two sat across from each other in the small diner across the street. Jack quickly reached into his backpack and spread all of his textbooks and notes across the expanse of the table.

"Ever been here before?" she asked him, reaching for a menu towards the end of the booth.

"No," he glanced up, noticing that she was reading the menu. "Are you getting food?"

Kate nodded without looking up. "Let's face it," she joked. "We could be here awhile."

"Can't disagree with that," he laughed, picking up another menu.

The waitress came over and they placed their orders. Kate looked towards Jack and blushed when she realized he was staring at her.

"What?" she asked, paranoid that she had something on her face or something else equally embarrassing.

"I was just wondering why you seem so eager to help me," he spoke, stirring his straw around in his glass of water.

Kate thought a moment before responding. "You just looked like you could use it, that's all."

"That's all you're going to give me, huh?" he joked. "So," he said, breaking the silence, "we should probably get started then. Don't want to keep you here all night."

As the night progressed, Jack was surprised to find himself actually understanding some key concepts of biochemistry. It was certainly no miracle fix, but he felt better than he had expected.

"So where are you from Kate?" he asked. As the night wore on, they had started to stray a bit from only academic conversation.

"We're not here to ask questions about me, Jack," she suddenly bit out, almost harshly.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to get too personal or anything," he replied.

"No, I'm sorry. I can just get like that sometimes. I don't really like talking about my life outside of school, though. Can we just pretend that didn't happen?" she asked him, a sincere expression on her face.

He nodded in response, confused as to how such a simple question could bring out that side of this seemingly nice girl. Kate was staring blankly out the window, having told Jack to complete a set of study questions.

She reached across the table, pulling the now completed paper towards her and scanning down through his answers. Jack looked at her expectantly.

"Errr…. This is good Jack!" she said enthusiastically. Although she couldn't understand why he was having such a hard time with biochemistry, she had quickly discovered that it wasn't from a lack of intelligence.

"I got them all right?" he questioned, his voice a higher pitch in surprise.

"Yeah, and with some more work we could even make the answers sound good," she teased.

"Well, I still can't say that I completely understand it, but I guess this is progress."

"You'll just have to keep coming back then," she replied. _'Wow, that was forward,'_ she thought.

He nodded. "Of course. You're the first person who's been able to feed this through my thick skull," he joked.

"Jack, I have to admit I had my doubts about your academic level, but this is just one class that you're having problems with. I can see that this isn't normal for you."

They sat in an almost uncomfortable silence for a few moments, Jack picking through his dinner plate with his fork.

"So what made you come back to the tutoring center?" Kate asked him almost shyly, not looking up.

"You," he answered simply. They both laughed lightly. "Thanks for helping me Kate; you'll never know how much I appreciate it."

"Give it a chance and I will," she replied smartly. Was she insinuating what he thought?

Jack raised his hand in the air, signaling to the waitress that they wanted the bill. He saw Kate rummaging through her purse, pulling out a few bills.

"No, I'll get it," he said with a wave of his hand.

"I'm more than capable of paying for my own food." Her tone suggested she wasn't used to being catered to.

"Kate, look, you're helping me out so much. Just let me pay, okay?"

"Sorry. Thanks."

Jack leafed through his wallet and pulled out a few bills, laying them on the table. On one hand, Kate was a sweet and giving woman, but at times she turned into a completely different person. He hadn't tried to get too personal throughout their conversation that night, but anything that remotely resembled it, she shot down. He found it hard to believe that a girl who had so many things going for her shut people down like that.

"So," Kate began as they got up from the table, handing Jack a book to put in his book bag. "Your quiz is on Wednesday, right?" she inquired.

"Yeah, actually. I feel a lot better about than I did about four hours ago," he chuckled. "You need a ride or anything? My car is across the street."

"Nah. I like to walk. It's not far from here," she replied nicely.

"You always so stubborn?" he joked.

She gave him a look that could only tell him she was. He watched her reach into her purse and pull out a scrap of paper, scrawling something down on it in neat, feminine writing.

"My number," she said simply. "Call me and let me know how everything goes, k?"

He took the paper from her, their hands brushing along the way. "Sure thing…. You sure you don't want a ride?" he asked again.

"Are _you_ always this stubborn?" she asked with a hint of mischief.

He laughed, the first true laugh she'd heard from him. "Fair enough."

They walked out of the diner, Jack leading and holding the door open for her to pass through. Kate flashed him a thankful smile.

"So I'll see you later Kate Austen," he said as he crossed the parking lot, his smile sparkling back at her.

Kate practically floated home, thinking of her night with Jack. He was the first, at least seemingly, totally nice guy she'd met in a long time. She found it refreshing how he didn't automatically 'go in for the kill' per say. Maybe she'd actually give this guy a chance.

Wednesday arrived more quickly than Jack anticipated. Since he was working so much for biochemistry, he was finding it more and more difficult to stay afloat in his other classes, but was luckily still managing.

Scanning over his notes one last time, he closed his notebook and waited for the professor to pass out the quiz. His professor's standards of a quiz were laughable however. Seven pages front and back?

Almost an hour later Jack walked out of the lecture hall. He actually felt good about his work on the quiz. Now it was just a waiting game, as the professor had said he would post the grades online later that night.

"Hey man, how'd it go?" Mark, his roommate, asked him as he walked through the door.

"I think pretty well, actually." Jack had been in a strangely good mood lately, and none of them could figure out why or how.

"What's up with you?" Mark questioned. On Jack's look of confusion, he continued. "I mean, why are you so… not angry?"

Jack laughed. He realized that Mark was probably right. He certainly felt happier, but he hadn't come to a full realization that he was actually in such a bad mood before.

"Things are just starting to work out better, that's all."

"It's a girl, huh?" Luke asked him, overhearing their conversation as he walked into the living room.

"No. It's biochemistry actually going well," he tried.

Luke waved him off. "Not buying it. A chick is totally the source of your happiness."

Now the two were just picking on him. What else could he expect from them?

Jack waited impatiently for the next few hours. "I got a B+!" his housemates heard from his bedroom. He dug around his room for the scrap of paper Kate had given him with her phone number on it.

He finally found it, and quickly dialed it.

"Hello?" a voice murmured.

"Oh God, did I wake you up?"

"Uhh, who is this?" Kate questioned.

"Jack. Umm, I'll give you a call some other time, I didn't mean to wake you up," he rambled.

The moment she figured out who it was, she perked up immediately. "No, its okay, I just passed out when I was studying. Calc doesn't do anything for me," she joked. "So, uhhh, what's up?" Kate asked after a few moments of silence.

"Oh, uh, you told me to call you when I got my score."

"And? How much longer are you going to hold out on me here?" she laughed.

"B+," he said quietly.

"Jack, that's great! Why are you being so bashful?"

"Couldn't tell ya. But thanks so much for helping me Kate. I probably would've gotten a D without you." He laughed nervously.

"Well, what did I tell you? I really do know my way around this stuff," she joked with him.

"Yeah yeah, sorry for doubting you princess," the tone of his voice letting her know he was only kidding.

After a moment he spoke again. "So I was thinking… we should go out and celebrate," he breathed. He hoped he didn't sound as nervous as he felt.

"Are you asking me out?"

"Well… yeah," he admitted.

"Jack, I'm your tutor," Kate stated.

He had already figuratively thrown himself under the bus. There was no sense in giving up now.

"Well, you can multi task, can't you?" She laughed in response. That had to be a good sign.

"What did you have in mind then?" Good. She didn't completely shut him down that time.

"Uhh.." he stuttered. "I hadn't gotten that far yet," Jack laughed nervously.

"Fair enough."

"Why don't we try dinner? You free Friday night?"

He could hear her flipping through papers. "Yeah, I am actually. So…"

"You'll let me pick you up then?" he deadpanned.

"Haha."

She gave him her address and they made plans for Friday. When Jack hung up, he had to laugh at his nervousness. He didn't have a big ego, but he'd never had problems getting a girl to go out with him. The typical girl was usually all over him before he had the chance to tell her his name. He had to admit that it kind of felt good to have to work for the change to get to know Kate.

He had a feeling she was worth it.

**So since this is a story where I've written that Jack and Kate have just met, I have a feeling it's going to take longer to set up than I would like. I want to develop their relationship, or lack of relationship in a manner that's somewhat realistic, so that's why the pace is kind of slow right now. Don't worry, I realize! Oh, and I've seen that quite a few of you put this story on your story alert, yet you didn't leave reviews! I would hope that if you really like it that much that you would let me know what it is you're liking, etc :) I'm curious. **

**Pretty please drop a review, they encourage me to write more!**


	3. Into the Airwaves

**Thanks so much for your reviews last chapter! They're very encouraging and I appreciate them so much! You guys really stepped it up. :) **

**I'm getting busier and busier with school, but I'll try to update as frequently as I can. **

**So this chapter is their date, so it's a lot of dialogue that's not necessarily the most fascinating thing since they're learning a lot about each other. As Tahti said, it's the slow burn thing that's happening here! Oh, and I want to shout out to Gillybean970, who really actually made me go for this story. **

Chapter Three: Into the Airwaves

Jack hadn't necessarily chosen to go to Columbia University. But when it came time in his senior year of high school to apply for colleges, it was an unsaid rule that he should apply there. Of course he had been accepted- he wasn't once denied in all of his applications. The day the letter came, Jack knew a big part of his life was sealed in his father's hands.

Christian Shephard, Jack's father, had attended Columbia for his undergraduate years as well as for medical school. Naturally, he was proud of the school he attended, the school that shaped him and trained him to become the great surgeon he was, but Jack had always held a grudge against the fact he was just expected to go there.

Luckily for everyone involved, Jack had learned to love Columbia. Before arriving, he had a hard time picturing himself living smack dab in the middle of Manhattan, but somehow it grew to feel like more of a home than he'd ever had growing up.

But now, his home felt as if it was closing in on him. Friday had finally arrived, and Jack felt as if the air was being sucked out of his lungs, his heart beating rapidly.

"Christ." Jack muttered, noticing that his hands were shaking slightly as he pulled the piece of paper with Kate's address on it out of his pocket. It was wrinkled and faded by now, from all the times he had dug it out over the past few days, trying to read more into it than was actually written on the paper.

He had memorized the address by then, but nerves placed all kinds of doubts in his mind. He wasn't sure why he was this uneasy- although if the time he previously spent with Kate told him anything, nervousness would be the theme of their night.

A few minutes later he pulled to a stop in front of Kate's apartment. Sitting in the car for a few minutes, he tried to collect himself a bit more before he embarrassed himself in front of her. Jack finally got out of his car and walked towards the door, but before he had the chance to knock the door swung open in his face.

"Yeah?" a female greeted him.

Jack wasn't at all sure who this girl was, but decided to chance it. "I uh, I'm looking for Kate?"

"Figures," she mumbled with a slight roll of her blue eyes.

"Who are you?" she asked, while holding the door open and motioning for him to come in.

He stepped inside the doorway, hands in his pockets but unsure of what to do with himself.

"Jack. Kate and I have a date," he explained, stretching his hand out towards her. "And do you always let complete strangers inside?"

"Heather," she introduced herself. "Nice to meet you," she said in a tone that suggested she didn't really care. Jack had a hard time imagining that the two girls were close.

A few moments of awkward silence later, he heard footsteps and finally saw Kate coming toward them.

"I see the two of you have met," she breathed, smirking at Jack, suggesting that she was well aware of Heather's camaraderie towards strangers.

"Hey Kate, you look great," he smiled. The two were going to a small restaurant in the artsy district that Jack had suggested. Kate breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that she had dressed correctly for the occasion. After several changes, she'd finally decided on a simple black and white printed dress that flowed nicely over her curves.

"So…. are you ready then?" Jack questioned.

She nodded. "Sure, just let me grab my purse real quick."

A moment later she was back, and Jack ushered her out the door, saying their goodbyes to Heather.

"Well, she's… she's interesting," Jack pointed out, causing Kate to laugh.

"Yeah, as you can imagine, we're not the best of friends or anything. But it works out fine, I guess," she smiled as Jack opened the passenger side door for her, closing it once she was inside.

"Nice car," she said absentmindedly once he had climbed in.

"Bribe from my dad," he stated. "One of them, at least," he trailed off.

"So I saw you sitting in your car for like 5 minutes," she laughed after a few moments of silence.

His face flushed. "Yeah," he tried to laugh it off. "I don't know why I'm so nervous. Thought I'd try to calm myself down a little."

"Yeah I am too. I guess there's probably no reason to be, huh?" she asked, looking over at him and smiling.

Jack shifted in his seat. "As long as we agree on that," he grinned, pulling into a parking space in front of the restaurant.

She moved to open her door, but saw Jack jog around to her side and open it for her. "And they say chivalry is dead?" she laughed as she accepted the hand he offered her. His hand was warm as it grasped around hers, leading her into the restaurant.

The hostess led them to their table, located toward the back of the restaurant and against floor to ceiling windows. Since it was late summer, it wasn't yet dark outside, and the light shone through onto the table. Kate squealed on the inside as Jack pulled her chair out for her. She'd never been on a date where a guy was so attentive, and while it wasn't a necessity, it was a great feeling.

"Thanks," she said. "So I take it you've been here before?" she questioned.

He nodded. "Yeah, it's just one of the places I've found around here that I love," he replied.

Their waiter approached the table and took their drink orders. Jack ordered a beer, and Kate the house white wine. "Can I see your ID miss?" the waiter asked her.

Jack watched as she searched through her purse, pulling out her ID and handing it to the waiter. He noticed that it was from Iowa. Well, at least he'd figured out one more thing about her, even if she hadn't exactly told him.

"Iowa, huh?" he cautiously asked, remembering how she'd gotten defensive the last time he'd tried to ask about her life.

She looked surprised, and then remembered she'd had her ID out. "Yeah. Home sweet home," she rolled her eyes.

"Did you not like it there or something?" he questioned.

She wrung a napkin through her hands on the table top, and although it looked like she didn't want to talk about it further, she continued. "It was okay most of the time, I guess. There are just some things I'd like to forget, and it was time to leave." She looked up at him surprised she'd even gotten that far with him, and was met with his warm eyes looking into hers.

"That's my story too," he stated.

"So I'll just assume you're not from Iowa then?" she laughed, lightening the mood.

"Nope," he shook his head. "California. Born and raised."

"Oh, a west coast boy?" she teased. "Are you sure you can handle the winters here Jack?" Kate laughed.

He laughed with her. "I've managed three so far, but thanks for asking," he joked.

"So you said you're a junior?" he asked.

"Yeah, although when I realize how much school I have ahead of me it doesn't seem like much."

"You and me both," he replied. "So you're going to be a vet?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "I've always loved animals, and I figure it will be nice to have patients who can't talk back," she joked.

"Are you going to med school or something? I can only assume, since you've taken so much science and all that," she inquired.

"Yeah, I am. I'm just worried about the MCATs since there will be so many themes of biochemistry on it. This whole tutoring thing is hard for me because I've never struggled with a class this much," he opened up.

"Well, we're here to celebrate you doing well in said class though, aren't we?" she flirted. "Because you sir, got a B+ on that quiz… and with a little more help from me you'll be pulling As in no time."

"I could only dream," he chuckled. "But thanks again for helping me. I don't know what you said that made it finally stick, but whatever it was it's working," he said appreciatively.

"Well you're a smart guy, Jack."

"I must be, I asked you out," he joked, and they both laughed at his cheesy line.

The waiter finally came back and took their orders. "What made both of us come all the way to the east coast to go to school?" Kate laughed.

"Oh, uh, my father went here as well. It was pretty much set in stone that's where I was going," he replied a bit offbeat.

Kate frowned. "So they didn't let you pick where you wanted to go?"

"I probably could've, but it would've been more trouble than it's worth. That's all I would hear about. I'd rather be on the positive side of things with them," he laughed. "Plus, it's on the other side of the country. That's about how far I need to be away from them most times," he said.

"So you don't get along?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "We pretend to. My mom is great, but still goes along with whatever my father says. And my father… well he's just indescribable. You kind of have to meet him to know what I'm talking about," he added. "He's pushy, extremely, but it's only because he wants me to succeed. It's just hard sometimes," he admitted.

"He probably loves you so much and he just wants the best for you, Jack. Isn't that how most parents are?" she questioned.

"Like I said, you'll have to meet him," he winked. Kate grinned back.

"So what about you? Why Columbia?"

"They gave me the most scholarship money, actually. And I've always kind of wanted to live in a big city," she started. "I mean, where I'm from, I was surrounded by cornfields and highways. So I came here, and it was a really huge transition."

"Not used to the big city, huh?" he asked.

She laughed lightly, her glossy brown curls falling over her shoulders. "It's not as though I'd never been to a big city, Jack," Kate teased. "But I wasn't used to all the noise, all of the commotion. I love it here now though," she ended.

"I'm from a big city in California but I know what you mean. It's a lot different over here and I wasn't sure I would like it since I was basically told to come here, but it's grown to be the place I think of as home."

"Do you go home much, visit your folks or anything?"

"I go home for Christmas and for a month or so during the summer, but other than that I'm here. Go back to Iowa much?"

She ducked her head a little at the question. "No. Haven't been back since I came here freshman year actually."

Jack looked surprised. "Why's that?"

"I don't have anything to go back there for," a tone in her voice appearing suddenly like the night she had blown up in the diner.

The waiter brought their food over to the table. What had started off as a great night had now turned into an awkward silence.

After a few minutes of picking through his food, "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up anything you don't feel like talking about," Jack said.

"No worries," she smiled. "I guess you've probably figured out that I don't really like talking about Iowa much."

"Everyone has skeletons in their closet," he offered. He saw Kate eyeing his plate.

"Kate, you want to try some?" he asked, motioning to his food. "You look like you'd steal it if I left the table," he joked.

Her cheeks turned a rosy color but she smiled through it, her eyes crinkling around the edges. "You caught me," she laughed and reached over and took a forkful. "Mmmmm," she said.

"What, you don't like your own dinner?" Jack asked her.

"No, I like mine just fine. Yours is just better," she kidded and took another bite from his plate.

"Why don't you just take it all?" he said in fake horror, pushing his plate towards her. She swatted his hands away.

"Stop pouting," she giggled. "You can have some of mine too," she presented.

"Oooh Jack, let's order dessert!" she looked excitedly over the small dessert and drinks menu.

He laughed at her excitement and nodded. "Whatever you want."

"We're going to share, silly," she said sarcastically. "What are you into?"

Jack couldn't help but laugh at her strange wording of the question. "I'm not picky. So really, whatever you want."

"Fine. But don't complain if it's something you don't want," she told him.

"Okay Mom," he joked, and burst out laughing when a look of horror and surprise crossed her face. "I'm just joking!" he emphasized.

"I know, you just didn't seem like you had much of a sense of humor," she taunted back. "See? Two can play this game," she smirked, staring into his warm eyes.

"Touche. Why don't you get the waiter and demand your dessert then?" She glanced at him in fake offense, then told the waiter what she wanted.

The two finished their dessert, which ended up being one of Jack's favorites, crème brulee.

"Let's take a walk," Kate suggested impulsively.

"Sure," he agreed. "Lead the way." She turned left, the opposite way from the car. They walked side by side, enjoying the warm night, the traffic whizzing by them in a kind of rhythm that only meant they were home. Kate reached out and intertwined her fingers with his, their hands dangling between them as they strolled.

"You know, for some reason I really trust you, Kate," Jack said quietly breaking their silence, looking over to her.

Her eyes flashed to his and she smiled warmly. "Yeah, me too. And I don't normally take walks with relative strangers, either," she said with a bit of a laugh. "In case you're wondering."

"I don't really date much," Jack said randomly. Kate looked to him, having a hard time believing it. It certainly wasn't because of his appearance. When he'd picked her up earlier that night, she'd practically had to pick her jaw up off the floor. He was dressed in black slacks and a crisp white button up shirt, and in Kate's opinion, looked like he was meant to be a doctor.

"Why's that?" she questioned sincerely.

"Ahh, just a previous relationship kind of turned me off from dating for awhile," he smirked. "You know how it goes."

"That I do," she agreed. "I don't date that much either."

They walked in silence for quite awhile, only this time it was comfortable. By now it was dark out, and they looped back around to where Jack had parked earlier. Before they got to the car, Jack spoke.

"You know, I was actually hoping to take you out again. If you wanted to, that is," he added hastily.

Kate tilted her head towards his and smiled wide. "Of course. You would've known if I didn't want to by now," she added.

"I figured," he laughed.

"What about tutoring?" she asked.

"What about it?"

"Well, are we going to date, and I'm going to tutor you?" she asked as she slid into the car, Jack closing the door behind her.

"Like I said, I have complete faith that we can multitask. Because for once in my life I'm going to be selfish and want both," he breathed.

"K," was her simple response. "I'm game if you're game," Kate grinned.

Soon they were pulling up to her apartments. He once again opened the car door for her and led her up the pathway.

"Well," she said nervously as they stopped in front of her door. "Thanks for a great night Jack," she smiled. Her breathed had quickened with anticipation.

"I had a lot of fun Kate. I'm glad we're going to go out again," he added. "I'll give you a call sometime this week, okay? We'll figure something out." She nodded, and hitched her breath in when his face came closer to hers.

She was somewhat disappointed when he aimed a kiss on her cheek, his stubble scratching the soft skin there lightly. She impulsively pulled him in for a hug, their bodies making contact and pressing up against one another. His strong arms wrapped around her upper back and she shivered when she felt his breath trail down the skin exposed by her dress.

"Who am I kidding? I'll call you tomorrow," he added after they pulled apart. "I just didn't want to sound too desperate," he joked.

"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow then," she smiled.

"Night Kate," he glanced at her and slowly let go of her hand.

**Next chapter… maybe a kiss?**

**Please review! They encourage me a lot.**


	4. Hands Down

Chapter Four: Hands Down

He didn't call the next day as promised. Or the day after that. Kate was furious with herself for turning into that girl she hated. The one who sat by the phone, pining away, wondering why he wasn't calling.

She'd never understood it until then. In high school, she'd always made fun of the girls who made it seem like their whole lives revolved around boys, and if one didn't call, it would surely be the end of all ends. Kate could hardly process what she felt for Jack, let alone say it, because she didn't know.

Two days after her and Jack's date, she started doubting herself. It was impossible to know what Jack was feeling at the time of their date, but she thought he'd really liked her. At least enough to call.

"What are you pouting about?" her roommate Heather asked her as she walked into the living room. "You've been staring at the phone for the past few days. What's up?"

Kate looked up at her, almost shocked that Heather was asking her this. Their relationship was kind of complicated. They had a don't ask, don't tell vibe going on. Although they'd lived together over two years, Kate didn't know much about Heather, and vice versa.

"Oh, nothing's wrong," she lied.

"Hmm, well it looks to me like you've been waiting for Jack, was it, to call you back."

Kate stared down at her fingernails, chipping away the dark pink polish that was there, a bad habit of hers.

Heather could tell she hit the nail on the head. "I thought you said the date went well?" she asked with her head in the fridge, searching inside it for something to eat.

"It did, that's the problem," Kate answered, getting up from the couch with a sigh and walking into the kitchen. "I thought he really liked me, that's all," she said quietly.

"Kate, you've got more problems than you thought if you think you can read a guy's mind," Heather joked. "They're unpredictable. He'll call," she said, seemingly sure of herself. "I saw the way he looked at you," she added when she saw the confused look on Kate's face.

"You think so?" she pondered, more to herself than to Heather.

"I know so."

And three days after their date, when he finally did call, she let her voicemail pick up. A part of her knew she was acting like a baby, that she should just get over it and call him back. Kate replayed his message over and over, trying to decipher it, perhaps read more into it than was actually there.

_"Hey Kate, __its__ Jack. __I've been thinking about our date a lot, and how much fun we had. So… yeah. I'd love to go out again. Just call me back then, I guess. Talk to you later." _The voicemail clicked off and she sighed. She'd just call him back, get it over with.

With a shaky breath, she hit send and waited for Jack to pick up.

"Hey Kate," he sounded excited. "Caller ID," he said quickly before she could get a word in edge wise. "I don't want you to think I'm a stalker or anything and memorized your number," he rattled off.

She laughed at his explanation, and although she'd been a little upset about how long it took him to call her, she could feel the tension relaxing with how excited he sounded to hear from her.

"Yeah, I figured," she replied.

"So, uh, sorry it took me so long to call you," he said nervously.

"Yeah, I was kind of curious about that," she tried to play it off coolly.

Jack gave an anxious laugh. "I'm going to sound like a huge dork, but I had a really good time on our date the other night, and I just kind of freaked myself out. Because I really like you, and I definitely want to go out again. Kind of seems like I would've called you sooner, doesn't it?" he joked.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I was practically beating myself up wondering why you hadn't called yet."

"Hey, I never meant to make you doubt yourself. I'm just always so nervous around you and I can never think of the right things to say-"

"We both need to stop thinking, Jack," and they both laughed, knowing she was right. "Or we're going to drive ourselves, not to mention each other crazy."

There was a pause on the line that bordered awkward silence, but Jack soon spoke. "So, here's the thing. I have an essay that's coming up in biochem…. And it's due in like, four days. But," he emphasized, "I also really want to take you out."

"And you're saying…" Kate trailed.

"What do you think we should do about that?" he asked.

Thinking quickly, Kate said the first thing that came to her mind. "Well, we could do both. You could come over to my place and I could help you with the paper. Then we could just hang out, or go out to dinner or something. Sound okay to you?"

"Sure thing," he agreed. "So… your place?" he asked awkwardly. Although Kate didn't seem like the promiscuous type, Jack wasn't completely sure what going to her place entailed. He'd been with plenty of girls before who seemed completely normal and then at the first opportunity had jumped him. Not that he didn't see what any other straight man would see in Kate. She was gorgeous and sexy, but looks weren't everything.

"If that's okay with you," she added and waited, but didn't hear any protest from him. "You remember where it is, yeah?" she questioned.

"Of course," was his reply. "When were you thinking?"

"Does tonight work for you?" she asked and then laughed at how eager she sounded.

He was caught off guard, but realized that all pretense of acting indifferent between the two of them had gone out the window the minute he'd asked her out on impulse.

"Uh, yeah, it does actually," he said after he'd racked his mind, trying to think if he had any plans going on tonight.

They made plans for Jack to be at Kate's place a few hours later. It was early afternoon when they spoke, and he was going to head over to her apartment around 4. Jack knew he was really in deep when he found himself studying _before_ he went to Kate's. He wasn't sure whether he was trying to impress her, or was simply trying to keep from embarrassing himself too badly. Either way, he found himself surprised at how much he cared about her opinion of him.

He arrived at Kate's about fifteen minutes late, having accidentally fallen asleep facedown in his textbook. He could hardly blame the traffic since he'd walked there. He climbed the stairs up to her second floor apartment, and knocked on the door a few times.

Kate jumped from her spot on the couch, even though she was expecting him. She strolled across the room and looked out the peephole. She grinned to herself when she saw Jack muttering, as if he were rehearsing what he might say when she opened the door.

"Hey," he said with a smile when she pulled it open towards her. He reached out and pulled her into a tight hug. "Nice to see you," he breathed.

"Yeah, you too. Come on in," she offered. He crossed the threshold, but stood awkwardly with his hands on the strap of bag, which was slung across his body and over one shoulder.

"Where do you want to work? There's the living room, or maybe the kitchen table?" she questioned.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Doesn't make much of a difference, but we might as well be comfortable. Living room," he stated.

"Want anything from the kitchen before we start? A drink or something?" she asked him politely.

"Maybe just a knife, to put myself out of this misery," he joked with her.

Kate let out a bark of laughter, because it was the last thing she expected to come out of his mouth.

"See, I do have a sense of humor," he teased, his face getting dangerously close to hers, so close that she could feel his breath on her face.

While his proximity made her nervous, she couldn't say she wanted him to stop. "Yeah, yeah," she muttered with amusement.

They sat on the living room floor, their backs leaning against the sofa as Jack set up his laptop on the coffee table. They were admittedly sitting closer to each other than necessary, but neither had a reason to move. Their thighs touched side by side and Kate felt herself growing flustered.

With Kate's help, Jack managed to write four pages of his paper without incident. While writing wasn't either one of their specialties, Kate found that Jack didn't need her help much.

"I think you've got this pretty much under control, what do you say?" she flirted.

His hand brushed over hers, while his stomach dropped in nervousness. "I think I just wanted an excuse to spend time with you," he said sweetly as he looked into her green eyes. He clumsily grasped her hand in his, tracing his thumb delicately over her palm then lacing their fingers together.

"Yeah," was all she managed to reply. Her eyes widened slightly as she felt his body shift towards hers so he was facing her more directly. They both had small smiles on their faces as they seemingly stared each other down, their bodies subconsciously inching closer.

Before Jack knew it, Kate was pressed up against him, her warm breath against his cheek as he tried to keep his emotions in check. He looked towards her with uncertainty. If he'd learned anything about Kate over the short time he'd known her, it was that she could snap in a matter of seconds.

But she had missed this, the feeling of someone's arms around her, the warm feeling of a body pressed against hers. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt like this, and neither could he.

She closed her eyes in anticipation, but opened them again she felt his lips grazing against her cheek lightly, and then brushing over the rest of her face, surprisingly intimate for not knowing each other well. Her eyes relaxed and closed again, as she brought her hands up to the sides of his face, pulling his mouth up towards hers.

His large hands were wrapped softly around her wrists as Jack finally captured her lips with his in a soft kiss. He felt Kate hitch her breath in and pulled back. His fears disappeared when her mouth found his again, nipping at his lips repeatedly, both of them tasting each other.

"We've definitely got this under control," Jack muttered against her lips, making her laugh lightly and breathe into his mouth. They melted together again, and it was Jack's turn to hitch his breath in when he felt Kate's tongue tracing the corners of his mouth. He eagerly complied as their mouths opened wider, in a deep and slow kiss.

His hands softly rubbed up and down her upper arms and spread across her back as he captured her tongue in his mouth, weaving it with his. Kate's hands moved to the back of his head and ran through his short cropped hair, trying to pull his head closer as if they could get any closer than they already were at the moment.

They eventually pulled away from each other with a peck, each breathless and a little flustered.

Jack smiled at her and she returned the favor, and they both laughed a bit bashfully, a burst of shyness suddenly coming over them.

"I can live with that," Kate offered after a few moments.

"Yeah," he agreed simply as he pulled her towards him again as they kissed. They pulled apart laughing as they heard Kate's stomach growling loudly.

"Hungry?" he joked with her as he put her hand on her flat stomach.

"Starving. Want to go get something then?" she tried to sound nonchalant, but her eyes practically pleaded with him.

He stood up and held his hand out to her, pulling her up easily. They walked to a pizza place a few blocks away that was really popular on campus that they'd easily agreed on.

"Eww, Jack. I am _not_ getting pineapple on my pizza. No," she stated.

"Why do you have such an aversion to pineapple?" he asked her, very amused.

"Why would you put fruit on a pizza?" she tried, her hands on her hips.

She blushed when she realized he was staring at her with a grin on his face. "You look cute when you do that," he pointed out, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Fine, we'll get plain old cheese then," he tried to sound irritated, but failed miserably.

"You always try to pout about your food, Jack," Kate told him with a smirk.

They waited for the pizza and headed back outside, walking to a large grassy area just inside campus that had picnic tables. It was just after six and starting to cool down a bit in the early fall weather, but the sun was still shining and it was comfortable.

"So…" Kate started.

"So?"

"I don't want to be that girl that needs a definition or anything. But, uh, what exactly would you call us?" she asked, glancing up at him and then back down quickly.

"To be honest, I think the last thing we need right now is a definition," he replied, taking a bite. "Let's just see what happens, yeah?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"Thought you liked to plan everything out?" she smirked.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just that it seems like you have every little thing in your life on a schedule, or planned out for you. That's all," she stated, meeting his eyes. "Not that it's a bad thing," she added.

"I guess you're right. I've never really thought of it that way," he offered. "I'd like to be a bit more spontaneous. Or spontaneous at all, I guess," he joked. There were some traits that he couldn't shake from his father, and structure was definitely one of them.

"You're with the right person then," she laughed as her eyes glimmered.

Jack was about to question her when she rose from the table and lay down in the grass. She made eye contact with him and giggled when he looked at her like she was crazy, holding her hand up to him. He stood up, chuckling and laid down next to her, grasping her hand in his.

"What are we doing Kate?"

"Cloud watching. And why do you always have to ask questions?" she kidded, leaning over and giving him a peck on the lips. She felt him smile against her mouth. She pulled away and laid her head back down on the soft pillow of grass.

"Aren't we a little old for this?" he asked, almost negatively.

"You're never too old to have fun Jack."

**Hope you liked it. Do you think that was all too fast? Reviews were down a bit last chapter from the second, so I hope that everyone is still interested. Please leave a review and let me know your opinions! Thanks:)**


	5. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

**Thanks for your reviews and support, although you'll probably get an update faster if I get a few more per chapter... just saying... They're obviously not the reason I write, but when I put out effort it's so nice to see it rewarded in some respect.**

Chapter Five: Who I Am Hates Who I've Been...

He rubbed his eyes and sat up in bed tiredly, trying to figure out what was going on. Jack finally realized that the banging he heard was coming from the front door. He shuffled across the floor and cursed when he saw what time it was on his way to the door.

"Kate," he said, surprised as he swung the door open.

She smiled and leaned into him, kissing him softly. Jack's eyes darkened as he saw her run her eyes down his body, as he was shirtless and wearing only his boxers. Kate blushed a little, realizing she'd been caught.

"Did I wake you up?" she changed the subject, walking through the doorway. She looked about as disheveled as Jack did, wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt, her long hair pulled back into a sloppy pony tail.

"Yeah, but good thing, cause I'm going to be late for class," he muttered, walking through the apartment and back to his room as she followed.

He turned around and saw her looking inquisitively at him, a smirk in place on her mouth. "What?"

"Jack, it's Saturday," she laughed. "You need to stop working yourself so hard."

He grinned back at her, pulling on jeans over his boxers. "I know, I know," he stressed. "But we have a special review session in biochem before the first midterm on Monday."

"What a good student," she said, flattening her hands on his chest and pushing him back onto his bed. He went willingly, wrapping his arms around her lower back as she gave him a peck on his lips. Jack groaned internally when Kate tried to intensify their embrace, tracing his lips lightly with her tongue. He obliged momentarily, caressing her tongue with his, then pulling back.

She looked disappointed, but clearly understood. "I really have to go," he breathed heavily.

"I know. I just came over because Heather is driving me insane. She has some new boyfriend that won't ever leave, and I'm tired of tiptoeing around my own apartment," she explained, running her hands down his chest and enjoying the hard feeling.

"And sorry that I didn't call," she apologized.

She stood up, pulling herself away from his warm body. Lying down on his bed, she watched him walk over to his closet and pull a plain back t-shirt off the hanger, pulling it over his head quickly.

He shook off her apology, non verbally saying that she didn't need to worry about it.

"You know, you could stay here if you wanted. I'll only be gone for an hour or so," he said sweetly.

Kate was a bit shocked at his offer- mostly that he trusted her enough after knowing her for only a few weeks.

"Oh," she started, a bit nervous, running her hands over the soft fabric of his sheets.

"Or you could just come with me to class," he pointed out, sensing she was uncomfortable with his previous offer.

"Sure," she smiled at him, and at the fact that he seemed to realize her feelings fairly easily. There was a part of her that was scared by this, at how vulnerable she would undoubtedly become if she and Jack's relationship progressed.

"Now I'll be able to tell you if this biochem stuff is really as hard as you're making it out to be," she teased.

"What do you mean?" he questioned. "You told me you already took the class?" he asked more than stated.

She sat up on the bed, pulling him towards her by his belt loops. "Yeah, well, for some reason I felt compelled for you to come back to the tutoring center," Kate smiled. She tried to read his expression, but failed. "You're not mad, are you?" her brow furrowed.

"No, just surprised, that's all," he finished, offering his hand out to hers and pulling her up off the bed. "Although you were pretty forward," he teased her.

She laughed even though she was a bit embarrassed. "Yeah, well when I see something I want, I go after it," she stated, brushing her lips over his again.

"Well, I wasn't figuring on going anywhere," she joked, glancing down at her sweats.

"No worries," he replied with a wave of his hand. "You still look more beautiful than all those other girls Kate," he said sweetly.

They walked hand in hand to class, the first time they'd really acted like a couple out in public together. However, it was still a mystery to both of them what they really were. Jack didn't want to scare Kate off by asking her to be his girlfriend already, even though he wouldn't even think about another girl at this point.

And Kate didn't know what to feel. She loved being with Jack, loved how he made her feel, how he treated her. But circumstances from her past prevented her from trusting him fully, but most of all, she didn't trust herself.

She felt the eyes of several girls on her as they walked, and any time she would meet their eyes, they would glance away quickly. She smirked and squeezed Jack's hand, thinking that they were probably just jealous.

They sat through the lecture together quietly, the professor droning through an hours worth of important material. Jack glanced over at Kate and laughed as he saw she was taking notes too. She felt his gaze on her and met his eyes.

"I know, I'm a dork," she whispered and giggled, setting her pen back down on the paper and continued to write.

Soon the class was over and they headed back to the apartment, bypassing it to pick up some lunch. Once they arrived back they sat the steaming hot cartons of Chinese food on the coffee table, going to the kitchen to get silverware and drinks.

Kate was reaching up in the cabinet, grabbing towards two glasses when she felt a pair of strong hands wrap around her waist. She smiled as Jack pressed himself against her, but it faded as she felt his rough stubble on her neck, and his lips soon followed. She tilted her head to the right, subconsciously giving him more access.

His hand moved to graze gently under her chin, guiding her face towards his and kissing her, gently at first. Jack's tongue parted her lips quickly and delved into her mouth strongly, more aggressive than Kate was growing accustomed to. However shocked she was, he couldn't tell, as she responded to him equally.

Kate's small hands moved under the hem of his shirt, feeling the muscles along the waist of his jeans. Their kiss deepened even more, their mouths seemingly swallowing each other, each becoming breathless.

Kate's mind was in a whirlwind. All she could think about was Jack's lips on her own, his hands grasping low on her waist, inching up under her shirt to caress her stomach, giving her butterflies. She couldn't help but laugh against his mouth as his fingers had once again found a ticklish spot.

His hot breath hit her ear and she could feel his grin against her. She moved to kiss his neck in soft little pecks, working her way back up to his lips when they were interrupted by the door opening, Luke and his girlfriend Sammie walking in.

They pulled away from each other, although they were well aware they'd already been busted. The two smiled sheepishly and Kate buried her head in Jack's chest, half laughing and embarrassed.

"Oh, hey guys," Jack tried to say nonchalantly. "Uh, Kate, this is Sammie, I don't think you two have met yet."

Kate smiled towards her and Sammie returned it nicely. "Nice to meet you," she said sweetly, extending her hand out.

"Kate," Luke nodded toward her, and the two disappeared hand in hand.

"She seems nice," Kate said, trying to change the subject.

"Uh, yeah, she is," Jack replied, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his ringing cell phone. He glanced at the screen and scowled, but nonetheless flipped it open.

"Yeah?" he asked gruffly, pacing around the room.

"No, I just don't understand why you keep calling!" he practically yelled.

"You've known for quite awhile," he said sarcastically.

Although she couldn't hear the other end of the conversation, Kate was well aware of how angry Jack had become in the matter of seconds. She'd never seen him like this, and it honestly frightened her a bit.

"I'll call you back later," he spat out, snapping the phone shut and continuing to pace.

"Jack?" she asked tentatively from her spot on the couch.

He looked at her eventually, seeing the worry in her eyes and forcing himself to calm down.

"Sorry," he said, his tone softer by now. "I didn't mean to get so out of control," he apologized.

Kate held both of her hands out to him, and he crossed the room, taking them while sitting down on the couch.

"What's wrong?" she asked simply, sincerely. She rubbed her thumb along his hand in a comforting gesture and he glanced down at their connection.

He wasn't comfortable talking about it. In fact, he hadn't really told anyone yet.

"It's nothing you need to worry about," he dismissed, shaking his head. "I don't want you to worry about it," he repeated.

While Kate suspected his intentions were to protect her, to keep her from worrying and stressing about him, she felt closed off.

"I don't want you to be so angry, Jack," she explained. "Why can't you just tell me what's wrong?"

He turned defensive. "Kate, don't sit there and act like you've shared every single detail of your life with me, either."

"Okay, okay," she said softly. "You're right. I'm just trying to help," she defended herself.

They sat in silence for a few moments, neither sure what to say in such an awkward situation.

"Uh, it was just a friend on mine on the phone," he said.

Kate looked at him, doubtful. "Didn't sound like much of a friend," she pointed out.

He smirked. "Okay, you got me there. Ex girlfriend," Jack said shortly.

"Oh," she exclaimed. "Umm, can I ask why you're so angry with her?"

His body flopped back into the couch, his back heavily resting on the cushions. "Remember during our date how I said everyone has skeletons in their closet?" he asked her.

She nodded. "You and me both," she smiled slightly.

"Yeah, well she's about it," he sighed. "We were together for three years." He paused before speaking again. "I, uhhh, I cheated on her…" he trailed off.

Kate raised her head to look into his eyes, shocked by his confession. "What?" she asked him.

"I got scared, we were getting so serious. And I freaked out," he admitted. "So, yeah, that's what that was all about," Jack finished.

"Umm. I don't know what to say, really."

Jack shifted awkwardly in his seat. "I'm not proud of it, Kate. It was really shitty on my part, and I know that. She didn't deserve that. I mean, I know now that we were meant to be anyway, but no one should do that. No one."

After a moment, "So why do you guys still talk?"

"Well… she lived with me. In this apartment," he started, trying to read Kate's feelings. "And when we… ended, she obviously didn't take it well. Even though I treated her like shit, and I wronged her in so many ways, she still wanted to be with me. But after I did that to her, I knew that I just wasn't in love with her like I kept telling myself."

Kate had to appreciate his honesty, however uncharacteristic the news seemed.

"You know, I couldn't figure out why she still wanted me, still wanted to be in a relationship that was so… tainted. So I told her that, told her that it wasn't okay with me, and that yeah, I made a mistake, but that mistake told me what my brain wouldn't."

"So she's still latching on," Kate stated more than questioned.

He nodded. "Yeah. And she keeps calling, sometimes stops over, claiming that she thinks there's still something of hers over here. So she's still managing to be a part of my life, when I really don't want that."

"And you're angry about it," she said simply.

"Yeah, I guess you could say I'm angry about it," he smiled. "It sounds so simple when you say it."

She wrapped her hand around his forearm and leaned against his shoulder. "I'm sure we both have things we want out of our life but just won't seem to leave," she sighed.

"Kate, I mean, no offense or anything, but I thought you'd be a little more upset about this."

"Yeah, and I understand why you would think that. But I know just because you do a bad thing, doesn't make you a bad person, Jack. And what you said makes sense. I mean, yeah, you figured out that you didn't want to be with her in a horrible way, but you figured it out."

He was amazed that Kate took the news of his cheating in stride, practically. She had nothing but advice to offer him.

"You're pretty great, you know that?" he asked her, staring intently into her green eyes.

"That's what they say," she joked. "And I know better than anyone that people change," she ended, kissing him lovingly.

"However," she said after a moment. "Don't think that this doesn't bother me at all, because it does. I've been on her end of the cheating thing, Jack. And all I have to say is that it better not happen with you," she stated firmly, looking to him for confirmation.

"Yes, ma'am," he said lightly, but she knew he meant it. "I won't," he added, more seriously, giving her a peck on her lips.

They eventually flicked on the TV, spending their Saturday afternoon in casual conversation. They ordered out for dinner since Jack's was a typical college guy's apartment, with a fridge packed with beer, but nothing much to eat. There was a knock on the door and Jack got up to answer it, expecting it to be the delivery man.

Kate heard nothing when he opened the door. "Do you need some money, Jack?" she called out to him. When he didn't reply, she walked to the door and saw Jack standing there rigidly, staring back at the person in front of him. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder but he seemingly took no notice.

"Hey Jack, nice to see you," the person said.

Jack took a step forward. "What are you doing here?"

**Three guesses as to who it is? **


	6. Skeptics and True Believers

**I was a little disappointed with the amount of reviews the past few times, but that's not to discredit those of you who did review. So thanks for those! I'm just becoming unmotivated, that's all.**

Chapter Six: Skeptics and True Believers

"I'm here Jack, because you won't ever call me back or let me know what's happening in your life," the man said with a slight smirk.

Jack begrudgingly opened the door, signaling for the man to walk in.

"I haven't been here since you moved in, it's looking good," he observed.

Suddenly he took notice in Kate, a confused look appearing.

"Kate, this is my dad. Dad, Kate," Jack said almost unwillingly, after Kate had nudged him.

"Christian," his father furthered, offering his hand out to Kate. She shook it, taking in his firm grip and the way he seemingly wouldn't look into her eyes.

"So, uhh, you just flew all the way over here on a whim?" Jack asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Christian paced around a little, then laughed nervously. "Well, it's good to know I'm welcome," he said sarcastically, then explained further. "Jack, don't act like this. I have a medical conference in Manhattan for the next few days. I called you several times," he emphasized, "to tell you that, but you would never call me back."

Jack looked up to meet his father's eyes. "Okay," he simply replied.

"Okay? What else did you expect me to do other than show up here? I don't get to see you very often Jack, you've made sure of that, but when I'm on this side of the country, I want to see you," he pointed out, his hands on his hips.

"Yeah, you're right," Jack admitted, although not quickly. A few awkward moments of silence passed.

"So, uh, who is this lovely young lady over here?" he asked. "All I know is that your name is Kate," he tried to joke.

Kate shifted on her feet, and laughed nervously.

"Kate's my friend," Jack answered for her. She shot him a look that could kill. "We're dating," he quickly added.

"Ahh," Christian smiled. "I was thinking it was something along those lines. "Your mother will be happy to hear that."

"I'm not dating Kate because it will make you and mom happy, dad," Jack defended himself.

"Relax, Jack. Believe it or not I'm not here to badger you about your personal life. I'm just here to pay a visit, see how school is going."

"How long are you going to be in town?" he tried to ask casually.

"Oh, I won't be in your hair for long. The conference is three days and it starts Monday, so I'll be out of here sometime Wednesday night."

Sensing that Jack wasn't comfortable with him around, especially around Kate, he made a move to the door. "Well, I'm pretty tired from the flight. Do you have any plans for dinner?" he questioned. "I'd love to catch up."

Jack looked over to Kate, questioning her with his eyes. "Go ahead," she whispered so only the two of them could here.

"No, I don't actually. Want to meet back here around 6 or so and we'll pick somewhere to go?" Jack asked.

Christian nodded, twisting the doorknob. "Sure thing, son. And bring Kate too," he smiled. "I'll see you two later," he said with a wave, and left.

Jack let out an audible breath of air when his dad exited.

"So. That was your dad."

"Yeah," he replied simply, then the two looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"That was so awkward," Jack chuckled. "Told you that you just had to meet him to understand how our relationship is," he stated, guiding her over to the couch, his hand on her lower back.

"It didn't really seem like there was that much drama between the two of you. After you got over the surprise, anyway," she pointed out, rubbing her hand over his knee.

He turned his body a bit to face hers, looking into her eyes. "Yeah, I mean, all in all we don't have that many problems. Our personalities just kind of clash, and I'm more like him than I want to admit."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," she said vaguely, smiling slightly at him.

"I think since I left for college our relationship has been better. In high school things got pretty rough, but spending some time apart has helped, definitely," he nodded.

She sunk into him, both of them relaxing back into the couch, her head lying on his chest squarely, her body in between his legs.

"Well," she started, "I'm glad that things between the two of you aren't as grim as you made them sound."

His fingers danced over the skin on her arms, both of their breathing slowing.

"I'm going to fall asleep on you if you keep this up," Kate giggled, turning so she could wrap her arms around his waist and snuggle further into his chest.

"Why did you tell your dad that we were just friends at first?" she questioned suddenly, lifting her head up to look at him.

His eyes darted around, then he sighed. "I just get really protective of people I care about. Especially around my dad," he tried to explain, and then found himself a little flustered.

They both became suddenly shy at his answer, and she just smiled at him. "I guess that's acceptable," she teased, leaning in and giving him a quick kiss.

"We've got, what, four hours before we have to be back here? Let's go do something," he suggested, intertwining his hands with hers at their sides.

"Yeah? Like what?"

He chuckled in her ear, his breath hitting her there. She was quickly discovering it was one of her weak spots when it came to Jack.

"I don't know," he teased. "You're the one who keeps telling me to do more things on impulse," he laughed.

She glared at him in mockery. "Haha."

Jack sat up a little, taking Kate with him. "There's tons to do in Manhattan, let's just go."

"Okay, but you have to let me go back to my apartment and change first, buddy," she stated, grabbing his hand.

Grabbing his wallet from his room, he nodded. "Fair enough."

They stopped by Kate's apartment, and Jack saw exactly what she meant about Heather and her boyfriend. They were draped half naked across the couch, unable to keep their hands off of each other, even in the event of company. Jack sat in the armchair across from them, feeling extremely awkward while waiting for Kate to immerge from her bedroom.

He finally couldn't take it anymore and excused himself from the room, approaching what he could only assume was Kate's room. The door was slightly ajar, so he assumed it was safe and entered after giving a knock of warning.

"God, I see what-" he started, but stopped when he realized he'd walked in on her changing.

She smiled a little, more embarrassed for Jack than herself. Kate pulled the shirt over her head, noticing that he was now standing in the hall, pacing.

"I'm sorry, Kate," he called from outside, his back facing her.

She walked to the door and opened further. "It's fine, Jack. Relax. No big deal," she teased. "You can turn around now," she added, laughing.

She could see the blush on his face. "Sorry, it's just that Heather and that guy are practically having sex on the couch out there," he chuckled.

"Now you know why I came over," Kate deadpanned, wrapping her arms around him, pulling their bodies together in the process.

"Where do you want to go?" she mumbled against his chest.

"Let's just walk, at the very least we'll get some fresh air," he commented. They walked in silence for awhile, hand in hand, Jack replaying the mental image of a topless Kate in his mind. He couldn't help it.

Kate grinned when she saw a playground ahead. She practically sprinted off, dragging Jack with her. She plopped down on the swing, breathless, her cheeks flushed with effort. He laughed at her enthusiasm; still finding it great how much Kate loved being a kid.

"Don't just stand there. Give me a push," she teased, laughing when he got behind her, pushing her until she was swinging as high as she could.

He took a seat on another swing beside her, pumping his legs until he was flying as high as she was.

"I don't know if I'll ever understand your penchant for acting like a child," he taunted.

"I'll never understand why you have to question it so much!" She threw her head back and closed her eyes, loving the feeling of the wind running over her.

As Jack looked at her, he got an overwhelming feeling inside that Kate would change him as a person, no matter how long or short they ended up being together. He could already feel alteration in his life, slowly but surely, things that maybe no one else could point out but he could already feel.

He thought it was a bit selfish to consider Kate in that light, but it was true. Jack only hoped that he was any type of positive influence on her. There was no way that any of his previous girlfriends would've thought of playing on a swing set, no way that any of them would think of it as being fun. And he wouldn't have either, truth be told. He was set in his structured ways, stuck in a life that he didn't know was so predictable.

They continued their afternoon together, stopping back over at Kate's so she could change for dinner. Luckily, this time Heather and her boyfriend weren't there, so Jack could sit in the living room in peace while Kate got ready. He flipped on the TV, prepared to wait awhile. He chuckled to himself, thinking that girls took forever to get ready.

About twenty minutes later Kate reappeared, stopping in front of him with one leg bent, her hands on her hips. She was wearing a tight fitting black dress that stopped a few inches above the knee. Her hair was down in loose curls and she was wearing more makeup than Jack had ever seen, but it still managed to look natural, simply enhancing her already beautiful features. She was the picture of femininity, her creamy skin a stunning contrast to the black of the dress.

"You like?" she asked him after he didn't say anything for a few seconds. She did a little twirl, the dress gathering around her legs.

"Of course. You look beautiful Kate," he said sincerely, holding her chin on the underside with his fingertips. He brought his mouth to hers slowly, enveloping it in a strong, yet sweet kiss. Her tongue found his, meshing together in a delicate dance that managed to be different every time.

She sighed into his mouth as his hands ran through her hair, relaxing her completely. Kate kicked herself mentally when she realized what she'd done. It's something she'd read in the cheesy romance novels her best friend in high school was so into. She'd always laughed at those situations, thinking that the point of them was to fantasize something that would never really happen, to satisfy that part of the mind that always wanted something to be better than it could.

Experimentally she bit his bottom lip lightly then soothed it with her tongue. She smiled against him when she felt his breath draw in quickly and blow back out on her wet mouth. Their lips fell together again, and Jack sucked on her bottom lip lightly, then pulled away suddenly.

"Kate, we've gotta go or we're going to be late," he said, flustered. They made the short walk back to Jack's house, where Christian was already waiting, seated in the living room with Luke.

"Oh, sorry we're late dad," Jack apologized as the pair entered.

Christian glanced at his watch. "No worries Jack, I'm a bit early." Luke shot him a look, wanting desperately to escape the room and Jack took notice.

"Well I've just gotta get changed really quick, I'll be out in sec," he explained, apologizing to Kate with a glance.

She sat down awkwardly on the other end of the couch, as far away from Christian as she could manage.

"So how long have you and Jack been seeing each other?" he asked her, stirring the straw around in his drink.

Kate hesitated. "Oh, umm, a little over a month."

"Jack seems to like you," he pointed out.

"I would hope," she laughed nervously. Their conversation was broken and uncomfortable, neither having much in common or knowing enough about the other.

Finally they were on their way, Kate feeling self conscious when Jack insisted she sit in the passenger seat while Christian drove, Jack taking the back seat. They arrived at an upscale restaurant in the heart of Manhattan, far away from the student joints that were littered around the Columbia campus.

Jack pulled out her chair for her, scooting her in once she was seated. He sat by her, and Christian sat across from the two.

"Order whatever you want. My treat," he offered.

Kate smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Dr. Shephard."

He smiled back at her, surprisingly warm. "So I see Jack's told you that I'm a doctor then?"

She opened the menu, running over all of the unfamiliar titles that appeared. "Yeah, he did," she said, almost distracted. "But I don't know much else."

"Well, I'm sure you wouldn't find me that interesting. How did the two of you meet?" he asked, switching topics as the waiter took their drink orders.

"At a party," Jack said. And "At the tutor center," Kate said at the same time.

"Well, which is it?" Christian laughed.

"The tutor center," Jack took a deep breath. "Jack, I didn't know you tutored," he said, seemingly interested.

"Yeah. I don't. Kate does," he cringed.

She squeezed Jack's hand underneath the table. "He was just having a bit of a problem in biochem, so I helped him, and that's how we met," she smiled at him.

"Jack, why didn't you tell me you were having problems with school?" he asked, a bit worried.

"Because of this, how you're reacting. I didn't want to disappoint you," he said softly. Kate's heart melted at his honesty, even in front of his father.

"Jack, you've had an extremely successful academic career, and I'm proud of you for that. Last time I checked, premed wasn't an easy course load," he laughed. "I had some problems in a few of my classes too," he winked. "But I'm glad you're getting help."

Jack looked a bit surprised. "Well, I would've told you had I thought you'd react like that," he chuckled.

"So," Christian started. "What major are you Kate?"

She snapped out of her daze in realization that she was being brought back into the conversation. The night continued like that, Kate being almost grilled by Christian, but she could tell he was in protective parent mode, simply looking out for Jack's best interests again.

Although it was a bit uncomfortable at times, the night went surprisingly well. She saw first hand how much alike Jack and his father were, but Jack wasn't as rough around the edges as Christian seemed to be.

"What, Kate, you're not going to chime in on this?" Jack asked her with a smile. He'd definitely learned how opinionated Kate was. The two had been in some debate about end of life care and she hadn't been all that interested.

"I don't think it's as black and white as the two of you are making it out to be," she explained. "Even medicine, something so concrete, can't be explained in a few sentences."

Christian looked her over. "Fair enough," he finally said.

She'd seemed to earn his full respect, just from the simple manner of expressing her own opinion. Soon they were done with dinner and Christian drove them back to Jack's.

"Kate, do you need me to drop you off at your place?" he questioned nicely. Kate looked at Jack curiously.

"I'll drive her back, but thanks dad."

Christian shook Jack's hand and to Kate's surprise gave her a brief hug. "Thanks again for dinner," she said.

"I'll call you Jack, maybe we can get together a few more times while I'm still in town."

"Sure thing," he replied, closing the door after him.

"You did great tonight," he smiled, circling his arms around her waist. "Juliet never did well," he slipped up.

"Juliet? That was her name?"

He fumbled with his words. "Yeah," he finally said.

"Thank you for telling me about all of that, even if it's not something you're proud of," she said sincerely. "It really shows that you want to change."

Jack pulled her against him tightly and they held each other, eventually pulling their heads back a little and kissing. It deepened, as it usually did, as they explored each other's mouths. Kate had butterflies in her stomach as she felt his heated hand cover her breast, never breaking away from her mouth.

They groaned against each other, finding it harder each time to stop where they were.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" he asked her breathily, pulling away and looking into her green eyes.

Kate stared into his brown orbs. They were warm and inviting, as she tried to think of a reason to say no. Jack had made her feel like no one else had.

"Yeah," she whispered against his mouth, as she fell into his body again, capturing her lips with his.

**Ooh la ****la****. Will they or won't they?**


	7. Here it Goes Again

Thanks for the great reviews last time around!

Chapter Seven: Here it Goes Again

"Yeah?" he questioned her response, running his rough hand across the expanse of her fabric covered stomach.

They stumbled into Jack's room, still connected as he kicked the door closed with his foot. The two fell onto the bed together, Jack's weight pressed against Kate's as they laughed airily, somewhat nervously.

He was nuzzling her neck with his face and lips, his stubble scratching her lightly. His fingers danced their way to the straps of her dress, pulling it down so her bra was exposed, cupping her breasts over the black lace that lie there.

Kate pulled his head down to hers to connect their mouths again, her tongue brushing out over his lips and making its way to his in a lazy motion. Jack's hands continued to knead her breasts, by now reaching behind her to unclasp her bra and remove it. He trailed the straps down her arms slowly, the fabric's slow path tickling the sensitive skin on her arms.

She blushed as he stopped to look at her, her creamy white breasts in full view, then ducked his head down again, kissing the area around and in between her breasts, taking his time until he felt Kate's hands reach out and guide his mouth to the awaiting buds.

His hot mouth worked its way over her breasts, licking and sucking, Kate only encouraging him with her faster, audible breathing and the grip she had on the back of his neck. She ran her fingers lightly over the skin on the back of his neck, causing him to look up at her and smile when she felt the goose bumps rise there.

She sat up suddenly, lifting the unsuspecting Jack up with her. Her hands ran to his jacket as she helped him shrug out of it, then went to the hem of the tight shirt, lifting it up and over his head quickly. Their lips met once again, hands wandering over their now exposed upper halves. Jack's hands slide down her sides, pushing down her dangling dress with them so her stomach was now exposed.

"Promise me I won't regret falling for you," Kate whispered, her eyes closed, legs on either side of his lap and wrapped around his lower back.

He pulled away from his soft attack on her neck and looked up into her eyes, taking in the grooves of concern etched into her forehead.

"Hey," he said, looking into her eyes with worry, his palm moving to cup her cheek as she looked down. "Hey," he repeated, this time forcing her to look back up at him. "You won't," he paused. "Just like I won't regret falling for you," he smiled slightly.

She pressed her mouth against his solidly. "Thank you," she murmured against it. She placed her hands flat on his chest, running them down the solid muscles to the buckle of his belt, as he could feel himself tighten and grow in his pants. He felt her fumbling with it and set his hands on top of hers, helping her undo the belt and work the button of his pants. She unzipped them and encouraged Jack to move so she could pull them off his body. Instead he reached around to the back of her legs, forcing her body up to stand on her knees. He was eye level with her chest now, her breasts dangerously close to his mouth, his hot breath hitting them.

Jack pulled the dress the rest of the way down her body, leaving her in a lacy black thong. He eyed the remaining garment with lust as he latched on to her nipple, circling his tongue around the tender flesh, his rough face stimulating the soft skin of her chest.

Despite her neediness, Kate pushed Jack onto his back.

"This isn't quite fair," she started, and he agreed this time, lifting his hips off the bed so she could pull his dress pants down his legs.

She left him in his charcoal grey boxer briefs, where she could see the start of an erection stretching the fabric there. Her legs straddled him once again, and the almost bare feeling against his bulge was driving him crazy as his hands gripped her hips tightly. His hands forced her body to press against his, laying out on him and stretching her legs straight in between his.

Kate blew against his neck before biting it lightly, kissing her way up to the underside of his jaw, back towards his ear and sucking on the flesh there until she was satisfied she'd left a mark there that would show up in no time. He laughed when he realized what she did and how proud of herself she seemed to be, the vibrations in his chest surfacing to hers.

Teasingly she ran her hands over the ever growing bulge still lying beneath the fabric, but then began to speed up the process, feeling the wetness pool between her legs. Slowly she dipped her hands inside his boxers, sliding them down quickly and allowing his length to spring free. Tentatively she gripped her hand lightly around it, seeing Jack arch his head back at the contact. Assuming she was doing something right, she continued, moving up and down on his shaft.

"Is this okay?" Kate asked him nervously.

"Are you kidding me?" he bit out.

Wanting to please Kate, but also to prevent from embarrassing himself, he sat up and flipped Kate over, sinking his weight back onto hers. He hooked his thumbs at the side of her thong and dragged it slowly down her smooth legs. They lay together, fully naked and finally taking the time to drink each other in completely, for the first time.

Their eyes were shifty as they ran down each other's bodies, each a bit nervous but extremely turned on, way past the point of return. Jack's mouth nibbled at her neck and they both stilled, savoring the feeling of being pressed together intimately. His hands were above her hand, tangled in her hair, then slid down her body, dangerously close to her center.

Kate cupped his face in her hands, pressing it against her chest as his fingers finally made contact with her warm and wet core. Out of nervousness her legs were clenched tightly and Jack ran his hands over her hips and gave them a squeeze.

"Relax babe," he said softly against her as she parted her legs more for him. His fingers slid down her crease as she gasped, and feeling her wetness, a finger entered her and moved in and out slowly, somehow intimately.

She squirmed out of pleasure when his thumb came in contact with her clit, quickly finding out how to excite her and make her feel good. He added another finger, feeling her readiness, and felt his cock grow in anticipation.

Kate finally verbally let him know how wonderful she was feeling, moaning against him as he continued to nibble on her chest. He could feel her fighting off her impending release, as her body tried to back away from his touch. However, he was relentless in his attack on her, wanting to see her go over the edge. He sped up both his thumb and the two fingers that were inside of her, finally getting her to come, pulsing around his fingers tightly. Her head was thrown back and her cheeks reddened, a slight sweat broken out on her forehead.

He kissed her again and although they hadn't yet said those three big words, he could feel the love coming from her and vice versa.

"Please Jack," Kate almost begged him, breaking away from his lips in the process.

He could see the sureness in her eyes, so he felt no need to ask.

"I am falling completely in love with you," Jack said with a smile, lightening the mood.

Kate smiled back at him appreciatively, and almost as if he could sense her nervousness, he trapped her lips with his again in soft, wet, nibbling kisses that slowed things down. He moved his hips so he was nestled in between her legs, his erection poking her stomach.

He teased his tip along her entrance, pushing the head in a bit, then pulling back out. She finally grew frustrated enough to clench her hands around his butt, trying to pull him into her.

Finally he eased his length into her heat, pushing up slowly, her walls swallowing him tightly. He pushed until their bodies forced him to stop, embedded completely within her. He paused, noticing she'd stopped moving against him.

Kate's eyes were closed tightly, her hands resting lightly on his sides.

"You okay?" he asked sweetly, resting on his forearms.

She nodded, opening her eyes briefly. "Yeah. I'm great," she smiled softly back at him.

He began moving slowly, his thrusts short and calculated. She found herself short of breath, overwhelmed by the great feelings rushing through her body, the lightness that took over her.

As he continued moving in her, she could feel his breath huffing out on her neck, something that was surprisingly intimate and sexy. Urging him to speed up, she began moving her hips up to meet his and he took the hint, picking up the pace. From her previous experiences, Kate had fully expected her first time with Jack to be rushed and quick, hardly the loving she was receiving now.

He was deep inside of her and she felt completely full, his length dipping in and out, now a bit more forcefully. She could feel him loosen up and relax, letting his body override whatever his mind was telling him before. Jack's head was settled in the crook of her neck and Kate moved her arms to cradle it there, the moment overwhelmingly intimate and passionate.

"You feel so good Kate," he panted. "You're so tight," he surprisingly revealed.

His fingers moved down to their connection, coming in contact with her bundle of nerves and pressing on it, rubbing in quick circles. He could hear her breathing increase in response to the stimulation and he quickened his thrusts even more.

"Don't fight it this time," Jack said and Kate looked at him with adoration in her eyes, fighting to keep them open. He sunk into her once more, kissing her lovingly in the process, his fingers still working her.

"Ahhh," was all he could hear at this point, knowing that she was extremely close. He gave a hard thrust and she exploded around him, her nails digging into his back and her walls clenching hard around his length, so tight he thought he might come at the same time.

Kate's eyes were still closed as her body continued to tighten around him, her bud so sensitive she could hardly stand the stimulation of him thrusting up into her. He sped up more, almost slapping against her now, his control almost lost.

"Don't fight it," she repeated his advice, and he came, his seed spilling inside her, his hips bucking hard against hers. He finally stilled, collapsing his body onto hers, both breathing heavily.

"Did you mean it?" she finally asked.

"What?" he questioned, rolling off of her.

"When you said you were falling in love with me?" she asked shyly.

Jack turned his head to the side so he was looking at her.

"Of course I did Kate. I would never just say something like that and not mean it," he explained.

"K," she replied shyly, trailing her fingers softly over his chest. "I'm falling in love with you too," she said after a bit.

Jack got the feeling that she didn't express things like that often, judging by how defensive she was when he first met her, how she was still sometimes that way around him. He was touched, because he didn't say it to hear her say it back.

"Jack?" Kate asked after a few moments of comfortable silence, the two lying connected at the sides.

"Hmm?" he questioned lazily, tiredness coming on.

"That was pretty great," she admitted, a bit amused.

They looked at each other mischievously and burst into laughter, Jack moving to peck her on the lips.

"I'd agree with that," he nodded. "It was fucking spectacular, actually," he stated bluntly.

They fell asleep shortly after that, but Kate woke a few hours later.

"Jack," she whispered, shaking his arm lightly.

He shifted in his sleep, opening his eyes slowly.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, suddenly concerned.

She blushed a little. "It's gonna sound stupid…" she trailed off.

Jack rolled over so he could rest his palms on her stomach, and his chin on top of them.

"Nah," he teased.

"I'm starving," she admitted. He gave her a baffled look, about to speak. "I want pancakes," she added.

He laughed loudly and couldn't stop. "Kate, its 3am. And you want pancakes?"

"Yeah," she nodded, almost bashfully.

"Well, let's go then," he said, getting up from the bed slowly and dragging her up with him, Kate enjoying the view of his naked form.

Jack dressed in jeans and a t shirt, while Kate laughed as she was stuck going to a grungy diner in a black cocktail dress and heels.

"This kind of screams one night stand doesn't it?" she giggled, although they were both aware it wasn't the case.

"And I'm treating you to breakfast," he joked, taking her hand in his.

They drove to the diner given the time in the morning, when the sketchiest people of NYC tended to come out and loiter the streets.

As they expected the diner was almost empty and they sat down in a booth right away.

"Kind of strange that we're back here, huh?" Kate questioned. Jack looked around, remembering it was the diner that they'd come to right after they'd first met.

"I guess I kind of drove here on autopilot," he laughed.

He looked at Kate, and although she might look disheveled to some, she looked stunning to Jack. Her hair was a bit messy, her cheeks still flushed and her dress a bit wrinkled. They ordered a plate to share, picking through it until all that remained was syrup.

As they drove back, Kate piped up.

"Uh, could you actually drop me off at my apartment?"

Jack looked at her curiously. He was honestly a bit shocked. "Oh, uh, Kate, it's no big deal to stay over. I want you to," he added.

"I know," she replied shyly, looking at her feet. "I have stuff to do tomorrow though."

"Umm. Okay. I'll just drop you off then," his tone was a bit harsher.

"Jack, don't take this the wrong way, okay? We had a really, really great night together, and if I didn't have work piling up around me I would stay. Okay?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"The only reason," she started, sliding her body closer to his as he drove, "that I'm not staying is because I know that I wouldn't leave early, that I would wake up early and want to have my way with you," she purred into his ear, flicking her tongue across her earlobe.

Her answer seemed to satisfy him and he grinned. "You got me there," he joked. They arrived at Kate's apartment and Jack walked her up to the door.

"So… when can I see you again?" he asked her sincerely.

"I'll call you sometime tomorrow after I get a decent amount of things done." She kissed him, meaning for it to be brief, but their tongues quickly escaped, dueling with each other until they forced themselves to pull away.

"Night Kate," he practically whispered, pulling his hand away from hers.


	8. The Takedown

**I was very disappointed with the response to last chapter; it was one that I really thought people would actually share their opinions on, so that's part of the reason for the long time in between updates. **

**Oh, and with the whole issue of contraceptives... just assume that things like that are being taken care of, as I don't exactly like writing it into the story. Kind of ruins the mood, huh? They're being safe. Sorry for not bringing it up last chapter. :)**

Chapter Eight: The Takedown

Kate felt bad for leaving Jack's, she really did. While it was true that she had a lot to do that day, she knew deep down that she was returning to protective mode, to the barrier she put up against nearly everyone she met.

She was lying flat on her back on her bed now, staring at the now seemingly infinite patterns on the textured ceiling. Her thoughts sprung back to the previous night and as wonderful as it was, she cursed herself for getting that close to someone again, for letting someone like Jack get so far into her life.

And why hadn't she learned her lesson? She'd already made the mistake once in her life, back in Iowa, although it was a completely different situation. Kate once again imagined Jack, who was great, really. He was everything she could hope for except one thing: he'd cheated on his previous girlfriend, yet Kate found herself trusting him.

Heather entered her room hesitantly. "Kate?" she questioned.

"Hmm?" she replied absent mindedly.

To her surprise, Heather came over and sat on her bed, fingering the sheets.

"So what's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I know we're not that close or anything, but you've been acting kind of weird lately. One minute you're smiling and singing to yourself and the next you're like this. Staring into space," she noted. "I mean, I know you're in love and everything…" she trailed off, teasing.

"What?" Kate snapped. Hearing someone else say it made it feel that much more real. That much more painful.

"You and Jack. I mean, you've been spending a lot of time together. You guys must be getting close," she added, now flopping down onto her back next to Kate.

Kate nodded. "Sure. I guess."

"It's not as good as it looks then?" Heather asked, confused by Kate's lack of enthusiasm.

"No. It's great, actually," she reasoned, more to herself. "But I guess I just get freaked out pretty easily. I don't let people in very often, in case you haven't noticed," she laughed.

The two girls expressed their amusement, as they both knew that for how long they'd lived together, they sure weren't very close.

"He seems really nice, Kate."

"Yeah, he is. That's the problem I guess. I don't want him, in the end, to just _seem_ nice. I want him to actually _be_ nice. You know?"

"Has he done anything to make you doubt that though?"

Kate sighed. "I think I'm just overanalyzing everything. We had this great night together last night," she blushed, "And then I freaked out and asked him to drive me home, and I made some lame excuse about having too much to do today."

Heather laughed at her story. "Oh God," she paused. "But if you really like him, just call him and try to put that behind you," she suggested.

"It sounds so easy when you say it like that," Kate laughed.

"Well," Heather started, sensing that their conversation was over, "If you ever want to talk about anything I'm here," she smiled.

"Thanks," Kate said softly, as Heather exited the room.

Reaching around her bedroom, Kate grabbed her purse and shoes and gave herself a quick glance in the mirror. She walked swiftly down the hallway, and was about to exit before she stopped herself.

She pulled her phone out and called Jack, choosing not to surprise him with another visit.

"Hey," he greeted her warmly on the second ring.

"Oh, hey," her words stumbled. "I wasn't expecting you to answer so soon."

"So what's up?" he asked, curious.

"Are you busy right now? Can I come over?" she asked quickly.

"Yeah, sure thing. Come on over."

Kate paced around the living room of her apartment. "Okay, I'll be over in a few."

"Is everything okay?" she heard concern from the other end of the line.

She paused. "Yeah. Yeah… I just need to talk to you, that's all."

Ten minutes later Kate stood on Jack's doorstep, Jack opening the door before she had the chance to knock.

"Saw you coming," he grinned, pecking her on the lips.

"So what's up?" he asked again.

She shifted on her feet, looking uncomfortable. "Oh, I uh, just wanted to apologize for last night."

A look of confusion passed over her face, and she cocked her head to the side.

"What do you have to apologize for?" Jack laughed, motioning for her to sit down in the living room.

"No, not that," she blushed, grinning and looking down at her feet. "I'm not apologizing for that. I mean how I just left. How I just asked you to drive me home and gave you some lame excuse."

"Oh, that," Jack teased, taking a seat next to her. "So why did that happen?" he questioned her, leaning back into the couch.

"Look Jack, I can't make you any promises that I won't freak out like that again, okay? You should just know that," she started.

Jack nodded. "I wouldn't expect anyone to make a promise like that."

"So, for me, this is pretty serious. Us, I mean. So last night you know, things just got serious, and I flipped out. Because I'm scared to let people in, I'm afraid of being hurt, and I have all of that baggage that no guy wants to deal with," she rambled.

"Kate," he interrupted her rant. "It's okay. If you need time to adjust to this then that's fine. Because I could probably use it too," he laughed slightly. "And I don't know what happened to you that causes you to act like this, but I'm not going to pressure you to tell me if you're not comfortable with that. I can only hope that you'll want to tell me sometime," he finished, making somewhat of a speech of his own.

She looked at him with warm eyes, thanking him silently. "Can we just pretend that this never happened?"

"Pretend what never happened?" Jack asked, his best serious look crossing his features.

Kate slapped his arm playfully. "Shut up," she grinned, unable to resist putting her lips to his in a sweet kiss, but she soon found her hands running under his shirt and up his back.

"We're in the living room," he laughed against her.

She took it as a suggestion to part them, but Jack stood up and held his hand out to her. He smiled playfully at her, leading her to his room where they fell on the bed roughly, Kate's frame on top of his.

"So," Jack began. "What should we do now?" he pretended innocently, but couldn't hold back a chuckle.

Kate pressed her lips against his a bit roughly in an openmouthed kiss and Jack responded immediately. Her hands gripped the sides of his head, and he quickly got the message that she wanted to be in charge.

Her aggressiveness was something Jack hadn't experienced yet, at least not in the physical sense. They broke apart when she pulled his shirt up and over his head, but her mouth attached right back onto his. He couldn't be sure if her assertiveness was because she wanted to feel in control of just _something_ in her life.

Jack's fingers fumbled to the buttons on the front of Kate's shirt and began to undo them one by one, letting his hands run down her chest and stomach. He reached around her back and unclasped her bra, his lips coming in contact with her neck and sucking lightly on a sensitive spot. She laid against his chest, both of their upper halves bare and warm to the touch.

He felt her tongue flick his earlobe and such on the skin just underneath it, her hot breath hitting his neck. "I have to be to work in a half hour," she breathed.

"We can work with that," he told her breathily, working on sliding her jeans down her legs, taking her panties along with them.

She was straddled over him, hovering and driving him crazy. She teased him by rubbing over his obvious erection through his jeans and he hissed.

"No time for that," he gritted, and she agreed, pulling his pants down.

His length was free from the confines of his boxers soon after, hard but ever expanding as his arousal heightened. She looked at him and noticed how his eyes had seemingly darkened, staring back at her intently. Lightening the mood, she gave him a mischievous smile, moving her body in between his legs and her mouth dangerously close to his erection.

Softly blowing on his length, Kate giggled when his hips thrust up involuntarily as the air hit him.

"Kate," he whined, his hand running through her hair.

She was just putting up a front however, because she was starting to become as desperate as he was. All she offered was a smirk in his direction, and then lowered her mouth onto his tip, her tongue swirling over the sensitive head. His hands automatically found the back of her head, resting there as she worked her mouth over him. Jack opened his eyes and watched her head bob up and down on his shaft, the site arousing him even more.

Slowing down her moves on him, Kate let her tongue tease his head again, tasting the precum that was forming there. His hips bucked up against her and she decided she'd teased him enough and herself too.

By now Jack was sitting with his back against the headboard of the bed, Kate sitting on his stomach. He could feel her wetness all over his tip as he whispered into her ear.

"I'll pay you back for that, I promise," he told her, gripping her hips as she rubbed herself over him.

"I don't care about that at all, I just need you now," she breathed.

Her small hand grasped his length at the base, and she lowered herself onto him. Fully embedded in her, she began moving up and down, picking up the pace. Soon Jack's hips were rising slightly off the bed to meet her on the way down, their connection becoming passionate and quick.

She could feel his legs tightening underneath her and realized that she was getting close too as she continued to move over him. Kate suddenly felt herself being flipped over, Jack's body now draped across hers. He held himself up on his forearms and thrusted into her, their new position allowing for quicker movements.

Soon they were both on the edge and Jack sent Kate over when he pressed his palm to her sensitive clit, the pressure alone enough to get her there. She tightened around him, pulsing. The tightness got to him and a few hard thrusts later he joined her.

Their breathing soon slowed from their activity, Jack's weight pressed against her.

"Fuck, it's almost 5 Jack, I've gotta go," she interrupted their silence, looking over at the alarm clock on the bedside table.

"Yeah, I was hoping you'd forget about that," he joked, rolling off of her. "When do you get off?"

She looked at him and burst into laughter, then Jack realized how he worded the phrase.

"From work…" he added, laughing with her.

"Nine, so I'm just going in for a few hours. Did you want to do something afterwards?"

He got up off the bed, finding his clothes and dressing along with Kate. "Uh, well my dad and I are going to have dinner, but I think he was hoping to see you again," he added.

"Oh," she said, her face blushing.

"He really likes you Kate. Believe me, that isn't an easy feat," he joked, pulling his jeans over his hips and buckling his belt. "Why don't you just join us at the restaurant when you get off? From work," Jack kidded again.

"That's fine, I guess," she added, fixing her hair. "Where are you going?"

The two made plans and then Kate headed to work.

Christian knocked on the door of Jack's house. He was nervous about tonight. When he'd made plans with Jack to have dinner, he wasn't planning on telling him. He wasn't planning on telling him ever, really.

"Dad," Jack smiled warmly and greeted Christian at the door.

"Hey Jack, how are you?" he asked as he walked through the door.

He smiled at him, for once not trying to hide his emotions from his father.

"Oh, I'm doing great, how about you?" he asked casually.

"Oh, you know, getting by," Christian joked. "Is Kate coming with us?" he questioned, looking around the living room.

"She's actually meeting us at the restaurant after she's done working."

"Sounds great," he told him. "So are you ready then?"

They got in Christian's car and drove to the restaurant. This time it had been Jack's pick, and he chose something less formal than the other's they'd been to recently.

The father and son chit chatted for awhile, with Christian asking about school and Kate again, teasing Jack about being whipped.

"Fair enough," Jack laughed. "She's really great dad."

"I happen to agree with you," Christian said, pulling a small bottle out of his jacket. He opened the cap and squeezed a few drops into his right eye.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked him, curious.

His father waved him off. "Oh, it's nothing. Just allergies I think."

"In only your right eye?" Jack asked suspiciously, craning his head in to take a closer look at his dad's eye. "Is something wrong?"

Christian sighed as he put the drops back into his pocket. "Jack, listen. I didn't want to tell you any of this since we've been getting along so well."

Jack rested his elbows on the table. "What? Just tell me, dad."

"I'm not here for a medical conference. You have no idea how much I wish I was."

He could see the look of concern etched on Jack's face. "I don't want you to worry about anything Jack, okay?"

"Please just tell me what's going on?"

"I uh, I was in surgery a few weeks ago and all of a sudden my vision in my right eye became so blurry that I had to call in another surgeon to finish for me," he explained. "I didn't think that much of it, and it went away. But then it happened again, and I started to get worried. So I went to an optometrist, and I could tell something was wrong as soon as I saw him."

Christian shifted in his seat. "So he referred me to an oncologist who could do some further testing-"

"It's cancer?" Jack interrupted.

His father nodded to him. "Yeah Jack, its cancer," he said gloomily. "So I'm here because my oncologist referred me to a specialist here in New York," he explained. "That's why I'm here. I've been seeing her for the past few days."

"So what is it?" Jack questioned. He could sense how hesitant his father was to tell him the severity of the cancer.

"It's called Metastatic Choroidal Melanoma. Basically there's a tumor in my eye that has been affecting my eyesight. Unfortunately the type of cancer I have is the type that metastasizes, so I'm at a huge risk of developing cancer elsewhere," he explained calmly.

"How bad is it?" Jack asked him.

"That's why I'm at the specialist, Jack. It's not good at all. Dr. Hart says that with the size of my tumor, it's unlikely that radiation will cure the cancer, and even if it does, there's the huge possibility that the vision will be impaired significantly."

"So what are your other options?"

"Well, there's really only one. And it would end my surgical career, for sure."

**So what does this mean for Christian? How is this going to affect Jack? I (for once) actually have this story pretty much planned out, and I'm excited to where I'm taking it, so I hope that you guys like it too! Please leave a review. It only takes 30 seconds for you to make my day and encourage my writing...**


	9. Exit, Emergency

**Thanks so much for your support and lovely comments :) Keep them coming!**

Chapter Nine: Exit, Emergency

Jack's dad was staying in New York now, and was scheduled to begin his treatments the following day. After the initial shock and anger about his father's illness, Jack had now turned to worrying. While at first it seemed that Christian had only feared his surgical career ending, the time had come where he started to fear for his life, too.

"Jack, I really don't need you to be driving me everywhere and going to my appointments," Christian urged.

He had an appointment that Monday morning, and was surprised when Jack had showed up at his hotel.

"You're starting your treatment and you don't know how you'll react. Just deal with it, okay? I'm not going to believe you when you tell me you're fine, either," he added.

Hearing his dad laugh, he looked at him questioningly.

"Son you might not want to hear this but you're acting exactly like me at the moment. We're both stubborn men."

"I'll give you that one," Jack tried to joke.

The atmosphere was a bit tense as he drove since they were both nervous about the start of his treatment.

"Did you talk to mom today?"

Christian seemed to hesitate.

"I uh, haven't exactly told her the full extent of this yet. I'm not ready to. Not yet."

Jack's eyes widened in surprise. "Dad, you have to tell her. It may be hard, but it's not fair to keep this from her. And what about you? You need her support," he urged.

"I did talk to her this morning. I told her that they're doing some tests still. I know it's not right Jack, but I have to talk to her when I can tell her the _right _thing. I especially wanted to see how these first treatments went until I worry her."

As harsh as it seemed, Jack understood why his father was holding back. He tried to imagine telling Kate something this serious, and although the two relationships were completely different, he could see how much of a strain it could put on the two.

"Call her after this treatment, okay? Or I will," he threatened, although he said it softly.

He saw Christian nod out of the corner of his eye as they pulled into the parking lot of the medical facility. Once they'd signed in and the doctor had talked to the both of them, Christian was led into a room. Jack sat in the waiting room, silent for the hour while his father was inside getting his treatment. He eventually heard muffled voices and looked up to see his father and Dr. Hart coming from the room where his radiation had taken place.

Christian smiled at Jack, trying to reassure him since he could see the worried look etched into his son's face.

"I'm fine Jack," he chuckled before he approached him.

Jack looked over to Dr. Hart to make sure he wasn't exaggerating.

"Your father did very well. His vision may be a little blurry for the next day or two, but he shouldn't experience any side effects."

He folded his arms in front of him. "Why's that?"

Despite his training in science thus far, Jack knew he had a lot to learn before he could be a doctor.

"Well as you probably know, radiation isn't exactly easy to get through, but the side effects are much less daunting than those of chemotherapy. With radiation, we find that the side affects are a gradual process, so as your father continues the treatments, they will probably start to show up more and more, unfortunately," Dr. Hart explained.

"So he should be feeling okay and all of that?"

"Jack, relax."

"No dad, if you're not going to ask, I'm sure as hell going to," he bit back little harshly.

Dr. Hart's eyes shifted between the two men. "He might experience a little bit of fatigue, but nothing serious, no." Pausing, she added, "However, if you do experience anything out of the ordinary, Dr. Shephard, please call me."

Christian nodded.

"Promise?" she joked. "So we're starting your treatments off a little slow, Christian, and then we're going to become more aggressive and you'll need to start coming in every day. That's most likely when all of the side effects will start," she explained.

The two exited the clinic, and Jack drove Christian back to his hotel on his insistence. "I want to call your mother, okay?"

On the promise that he would call him that night, Jack dropped Christian off, and hurried back to his house to get all of his things together for class that day. To say that he had a busy day was an understatement, starting with his father's doctor's appointment, then class with no breaks until 5:30, then his volunteer work at the hospital.

He was hoping that he'd at least get to talk to Kate that day, and settled for the fact that he'd probably only get to between classes while he walked. They wouldn't get to see each other since his work at the hospital would most likely last until midnight or so.

Kate had taken the news of Christian's cancer in shock. Jack and Christian had stopped talking about his condition when Kate arrived at the restaurant. Christian had told Jack it was up to him how he was going to tell Kate, but he didn't feel he knew her well enough to break the news to her.

Jack told her on the ride home since they were finally alone. He found himself having a tough time keeping his emotions in check while explaining the seriousness of his condition, but Kate was extremely supportive.

While walking out the door and on his way to class, Jack felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

"Hello?" he flipped it open and answered it, seeing on the caller ID that it was Kate.

"Hey hun, how did this morning go?" she asked with concern.

He sighed out of pure frustration. "Oh, it was okay. He should be fine for now because the doctors are starting him off slowly. But it went fine I guess. Thanks for calling," he added after a bit.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I know you're really busy today," she offered.

"Umm, no, nothing I can think of. You're sweet for offering though," he pointed out as he approached the building his class was in.

"Well make sure you tell me if there's _anything_ you need, or your dad needs."

He agreed and they hung up, after he said he'd call her later that afternoon.

Jack made it through four classes with the aid of caffeine, then headed to the hospital for his volunteering. His time there passed quickly, and he found the hurried pace of the work to keep his mind off of other matters.

He made his way home just after midnight, by now able to feel the tension pulling on his face, the tiredness of his body catching up with him. His father had called and left him a message on his cell phone, telling Jack that he was fine and wasn't experiencing any problems from the radiation.

He tried to call Kate during his drive home, but she didn't pick up, and Jack assumed that at this hour she was asleep. Digging his house key out of his bag from class, he moved quickly to unlock the door, immediately tossing his possessions on the floor and dragging to his room.

His plan was to fall onto his bed and sleep for eternity, however when he opened the door he found himself staring at Kate. She had lit several candles, the room glowing in the soft light. She smiled at him shyly, holding her hands out to him.

"Hey… What's all this?" he asked her, accepting the hands she offered and pulling her flush against his body.

"I thought you could use a bit of pampering. You know, relax and all that," she explained, kneading his back while her chest was pressing against his.

"You're too good to me," he smiled, kissing her softly, the feeling of her soft lips against his almost immediately relaxing him to some degree. They nipped at each other's lips, and Jack could feel his breathing slow as her fingers loosened up his tense back muscles.

"I've had a hell of a day," he admitted as their heads pulled apart.

"Off with your shirt," Kate said bluntly, causing Jack to break out in laughter. She worked her hands at the hem, pulling it swiftly over his head, of course stopping to admire his physique.

"Kate, I didn't know you were into booty calls," he joked with her as he dipped his head down to capture her lips with his.

She broke away from him almost immediately, smirking.

"Ha ha, funny boy," she retorted, placing her palms on his chest a pushing him onto the bed.

"On your stomach," she demanded.

"Ooh. Kinky," Jack's muffled voice came from the blankets.

He grunted and a gust of breath escaped his lips as Kate sat on his lower back, her legs straddling the waistline of his jeans. Jack hummed in satisfaction when her hands began massaging his back lightly, running up and down the expanse slowly. Her thumbs dug into the rigid muscles, circling the knots that had built up there.

"Oh my God, you're amazing," he moaned, pulling his pillow to his head and circling his arms around it.

She continued working across his hard back, and though her purpose was to relax him, found herself gazing at the developed muscles that stretched across his bare back. When she first saw Jack, she'd guessed to herself that he worked out a lot, but she'd never even heard him mention it. With how busy he was, it was hard to believe he'd have time for anything of the sort.

Her fingers danced up to his neck and gripped the solid tissue there. She pressed her knuckles into it and set her hands in a circular motion. Almost immediately she could feel the tension dissipate and his head relax. The massage continued until she noticed Jack's breathing had slowed considerably. Crawling over his body, she smiled when she saw he was asleep, his face relaxed into a state that only sleep could provide.

The alarm clock across from the bed read 1:14, and figuring the late hour Kate lay beside Jack, snuggling her head into his side and soon falling asleep to the sound of his breathing.

Jack woke with a start around 9 am, and grinned when he saw Kate sprawled out on the bed beside him, both of them somehow having found their way under the covers during the night. Her long brown hair was draped awkwardly over her face and one arm flung over her eyes.

He rolled over so he was pressed half against her and kissed her exposed neck. He moved his lips over the soft skin, suckling lightly on the spot just under her jawbone that he'd found she liked so much. Kate rustled in her sleep, Jack's soft attack on her not yet fully waking her up.

He smiled to himself and decided to up his game. He sneaked his hand under her shirt, grazing her stomach lightly, and then moved it down to the waistband of her pants. Not believing she was still asleep, he let his hand drift further down until he came in contact with her crease, and ran a finger through it, separating her.

She awoke with a start, arching her hips into Jack's hand and pressing herself against him.

"Jesus," she groaned as she wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling his body on top of hers.

"You sure sleep through a lot," he teased before she pulled his head down to meet hers, kissing him with passion, wet and slow, but deep. His leg was sandwiched between her legs, and he began rubbing against with it, feeling her hips respond to the action.

He could feel himself start to turn on, a bulge forming in his jeans that were still on from the night before. Kate moved against him still, their mouth connecting, tongues swirled with each other's. Kissing Jack was still one of the most delicious things Kate had ever experienced.

Suddenly he broke away from her mouth, moving his to her neck once again and taking his time, his rough stubble tickling her even though he'd just shaved the morning before. She sat up when he tugged at the bottom of her shirt, pulling it over her head in one quick motion, her hair falling to her back afterwards. He didn't bother taking her bra off, as he pushed it upwards, exposing her breasts to his mouth, sucking the buds into his warm wet mouth and kneading them pleasantly with his large hands.

He multitasked, unbuttoning her jeans and managing to pull them down her legs, along with her panties while still paying attention to her breasts with his lips. Kate gasped at the feeling of his clothed bottom half against her bare self, the rough material of his jeans rubbing against her sensitive center.

Kate was antsy with anticipation as she saw his head move south, tongue tracing her stomach and then down to her inner thighs. She opened her legs more, a clear invitation to where she wanted his mouth. This was one area that hadn't been explored in their relationship, and while Kate had never liked oral before, she found she wanted nothing more than that at the moment.

She extended her hips when she felt his breath against her wetness, his hands gripping her thighs. Finally, his mouth came in contact with her and she arched into him. His tongue dipped into her, then up and down her crease. The movements sent her sensations into overdrive, every touch tingling and electric. Her hands held onto the back of his head, rubbing his short cropped hair in encouragement as she writhed beneath his mouth.

"Shit," Kate cursed as Jack sucked her clit into his mouth, flicking his tongue over it in the process. He felt her trembling and beginning to tighten as he continued to pleasure her. She was dripping wet by now, his tongue bringing out her arousal even more. His fingers hit her crease and he moved two in and out of her easily. A few more flicks over her clit and she came hard, her wet walls clenching around his fingers and pulsing. Kate used her hands to stop Jack from moving his head, finding herself so sensitive that she couldn't bear to be stimulated anymore.

Finally she released her death grip on his head, allowing him to come up to her neck. By now his erection was standing at attention. Smiling at him she gripped his cock in her hand, pumping it up and down. Taking her by surprise he kissed her, entering her at the same time. She wasn't expecting his entrance and let out a cry of surprise, quickly moaning as he filled her. He stopped when he was fully within her, the sensation so strong he was afraid he was about to end prematurely.

"Oh God," she muttered as he began moving in and out of her at a steady pace, her slippery walls enveloping him.

By now the two were more comfortable with each other during sex, and Kate watched as Jack hooked his hands underneath each of her knees and pushed them towards her chest, sinking further into her in the process. They both groaned at the feeling, Kate feeling as though Jack was made for her, stretching her but filling her so completely and comfortably.

_'Why hasn't anyone ever done that before?'_ she questioned herself, as Jack moved smoothly in her. She looked down at their connection, watching his cock slide in and out of her, finding the sight extremely erotic. Her eyes continued watching each time as his balls slapped against her, stopping his thrust into her.

He'd noticed her watching awhile ago, finding it extremely sexy and open. He moved his mouth to hers and kissed her, openmouthed and wet, slightly sloppy with their movements.

"You like watching?" he huffed against her ear. He felt her nod against him.

"What do you like?" Jack asked her.

She seemed to hesitate, but answered anyway. "I love your cock," she admitted. "Anything you do with it," her mouth opening as she felt herself begin to tremble.

His thrusts continued at the fast pace as he adjusted his body so with each one his body was hitting her clit and she was screaming now, perhaps too loudly in a house with three other sleeping people in it.

Jack clamped his hand over her mouth, and she eventually stopped writhing against him, her walls still clamped down against him. She reached down and stroked his balls, the stimulation and the fact that he was so close already sending him over the edge. He came, having to bury his face in Kate's neck to prevent him from shouting.

Their bodies cooled eventually and they got up, taking a shower together to prepare for each of their long days ahead of them.

"I didn't know you liked to talk dirty," Jack said later, causing Kate to blush.

"Shut up," she teased. "You started it," she pointed out, her hands on her hips.

After his morning classes Jack called his father to check in.

"I told your mother yesterday," he said. "She was pissed that I didn't tell her sooner, just like I would've guessed. But she's scared and I don't know what to tell her, because I really don't know what's going to happen, Jack."

It was the first time in his life that Jack could remember his father sounding so unsure and vulnerable.

"We're all scared dad. We wouldn't be human if we weren't. So is she going to come to New York since you'll be getting your treatment here?"

He heard a sigh through the other line. "Yeah, we only talked about it briefly, but she said that she'd be here as soon as she could get a flight. I think I'm going to look into renting a place here so we don't have to live out of a hotel."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Listen, I'll pick you up tomorrow morning for your appointment, okay? I don't want any fighting about this," he added.

"Fine," Christian conceded. "Oh, and Jack?" he asked at last.

"Yeah?"

"I need to ask you a favor…"

"Anything dad," and at this point, Jack could say he honestly meant it.

"I need you to go to California and pack up the house for us. Your mother and I are going to be here for a long time, since right now my treatment is scheduled for at least four months.

Jack hadn't been to his parent's home in California for over a year, his schedule not allowing him to visit over the summer or on holidays like he did his first few years of undergrad.

"Yeah. I can do that," he put simply.

"Why don't you take Kate with you so you have some company?"

Jack was falling in love with Kate, but was he ready for her to see this?


	10. Semi Constructive Criticism

**Thought you all deserved an update after your amazing responses. I think I replied to all of you to try to explain my situation more, and I hope you understand what I was trying to get at- it wasn't a beg for reviews but rather the simple question of if you were still interested. I do write for myself, I really love to and nothing would ever stop me, so you have to know that too! But why not share it, right? It was great to hear from people who I hadn't before, so I know that there really are people who are enjoying this and are along for the ride. So thanks, you guys are amazing:)**

**So Margo (yes I finally spelled it right after spelling it wrong in my ENTIRE first story... buah!) is introduced in this chapter- think of my Margo as the Emily Gilmore type- annoying, overbearing and sometimes mean, but always wanting the best and truly loving her family. Might be a bit fluffly at the end, but I think the last sentence kind of explains why, with Jack's family in the situation they're in. Enjoy and leave me something if you want!**

Chapter Ten: Semi Constructive Critcism

Margo folded her arms against her chest, her usual defensive stance. Jack was watching them from outside his house. They'd just arrived and were standing outside in the driveway arguing. Growing up Jack had never doubted that his parents loved each other, he just wasn't sure that they were _in_ love. They seemed to bicker and fight a lot, although it was probably just the battle of clashing personalities.

Finally he saw them approach the door. He hadn't seen his mother for awhile now, and he was a bit nervous. That morning he'd cleaned the house from top to bottom- anything to earn his mother's respect. Margo grasped Christian's arm to her side, and Jack laughed when he saw his father roll his eyes but allowed it to happen.

He opened the door as they were climbing the steps on the side porch. Margo seemed to forget about her husband for a moment, dropping his arm and hugging Jack tightly.

"I never see you anymore," she complained, Margo style.

"I know, I know. I'm a busy guy," Jack replied.

"Well that's no excuse for not visiting your mother," she warned him in her typical catty tone. She wasn't saying it meanly or to be condescending- she was a mother who missed her son.

Margo was always blunt- Jack had learned to appreciate that for what it was worth. The Shepherd family had always gotten what they were after, that's for sure. In some ways his mother seemed to drive fear into people, even though most of the time she was a personable character. Brash, opinionated, sure, but you just had to know how to take it from her.

"So," she clapped her hands together in front of her. "What's going on with you Jack? I need a serious update."

Jack sat next to his mom on the couch and Christian took the chair across from it.

"I guess dad's probably told you about struggling a little bit in one of my classes," he put out there, sincerely hoping Christian had.

Clearly he hadn't.

"What? I haven't heard anything about this. I hope you're not jeopardizing your future by being unprepared now. The last thing you need is to fail a class and not get into medical school. What would everyone think?" she pondered, her eyes turning hard in Jack's direction.

"I know. But it's getting a lot better now in biochem- I'm pulling a solid B, and the final is coming up pretty soon."

"That better be an A by the time the end of the semester comes around," Margo threatened. "How did you pull it up?"

"Oh, Kate helped me. I'm sure dad's told you about Kate," he offered, smiling slightly.

"Who?"

Jack shot Christian a look- had he talked to her at all?

"We didn't get around to talking about much- other than my condition," he tried, shrugging his shoulders.

"Who is this girl?" Margo cut in, clearly interested.

"I guess she's my girlfriend. I don't think we've put it in those words yet though," he offered, looking over to Margo to see what she had to say. She was silent for a moment, though Jack could practically see the thoughts churning in her head, her opinion surely about to be spit out.

"You don't need a girlfriend right now," she stated bluntly. "Too much of a distraction."

"I'm not going to dump Kate because you don't think I 'need' a girlfriend," he emphasized.

"Well how do you expect to raise your grades, keep up with your volunteering, and study for your MCATs with a girlfriend always hanging around and getting in your way?" she tried. Her face had turned a bit stoic. "Besides, you know how it turned out last time. What makes you think this will be any different?"

The blow hit him hard. It was one thing to not approve of having a girlfriend- but comparing a previous relationship to this one just wasn't fair. She was overstepping her boundaries very quickly.

"No, I won't let you do this mom. I don't doubt anything that I have with Kate, okay? I don't want to hear this from you. Is that clear?"

"Jack, I'm just trying to point out how hard it's going to be to juggle everything at once."

He sighed, putting his hands in his face. "I don't suppose you know that Kate's the only reason I'm managing to pull a B in biochem. She was my tutor- that's how we met," he tried to explain.

"You went to a tutor?" Margo asked. She sounded a bit flabbergasted, as if going to a tutor was a damper on the family name.

"I wasn't going to sit around a fail the class, mom. Now I'm sure you'll meet Kate fairly soon since you're going to be here with dad for quite awhile. Don't do this to her."

"You know I don't make promises," she smirked, crossing her legs. "Now can you get me something to drink? I'm terribly parched."

Christian had been to two more treatments since he started. He hadn't been experiencing many side effects yet mainly because it was early on, but he'd been more tired than ever before in his life.

It was way too early in the process to check the progress of the tumor in his eye, but while he could live with the tumor in his eye, although his vision might be impaired- the chances of the cancer spreading were likely. That's what they were more worried about now. Christian would have to have full body scans regularly, to check if the disease had spread. Luckily the cancer normally spread to certain known places- so he was getting top of the line screening in those areas.

Jack was driving his father to his treatment that morning. Christian was sitting in the passenger's seat, Margo in the back chattering away.

"Christian, we just simply cannot stay in that hotel any longer. Those sheets were terrible," she complained. "Thought I was going to be able to see through my skin by the morning."

"Dear we'll just buy some new sheets in the meantime," he tried, rubbing his hands over his tired eyes.

"And did you see that maid? We should lock everything up in case she tries to steal my jewelry and pawn it off to feed her family."

Jack broke in. "Where do you think of things like this mom?" he asked her, as Christian started laughing.

"It happens Jack! I saw it on 20/20!" she exclaimed.

"We'll get a rental place soon, okay? How about we look later on today if I'm feeling up to it?" Christian tried to comfort her. No matter how much his wife complained, he knew it was because she was used to the best. She was used to the best because he provided it for her- something he couldn't help but take pride in.

"Fine."

Jack sat in the waiting room with his mother while she chatted about the women's club back home, and how she was so upset she had to miss the upcoming functions.

"But you're here for dad. That's what matters," Jack said finally, finding it hard to get a word in edge wise.

"Yes, I suppose you're right," she conceded.

Soon after Christian appeared, having finished his radiation. He of course looked tired, like always of late, but smiled nonetheless. Jack watched his mother fawn over him, still taken aback how Margo could switch personalities in the matter of seconds. She was rubbing his back gently, her face etched with concern, but trying not to show that to her husband. Jack had always known that his temper and personality weren't all from his dad- he surely had some characteristics of his mother. Margo taking care of him wasn't the first thing he thought of, but he did have some fond memories of Margo being a great mother, and he'd always thought that some of that care had rubbed off on him.

Jack left the two alone for the remainder of the day and drove them back to their hotel. He got a call that afternoon from Margo, gushing that they'd found the perfect place to rent. Coincidentally it was also in Manhattan, although probably a 15 minute drive from his place in the busy New York traffic and not far from Christian's treatment center.

"So your father asked you about going back home to get some things settled for us?" she asked him. "We'd really appreciate it. I just don't trust strangers with all of our valuable possessions," she breathed. "There are several generations of family heirlooms and I wouldn't feel right letting anyone else doing it," she explained.

"I mean, I honestly don't mind doing that for you and dad, but you're going to have to realize it's going to be hard for me to find a little break in my schedule. You're going to have to stay here with dad, and I'll probably have to fly over on a weekend or something," he started.

"But it needs to be done soon," Margo complained.

"Not everything can be done exactly when you want it to," he fought back. "It will get done."

"And he told me about asking Kate along. I don't think that's appropriate," she bit out.

"Why's that mom? Think she's going to steal something?" he referred back to her complaints in the car that morning.

"No, I think this is a private matter, that's all."

He sighed audibly into the phone. "Well Kate's a part of my life mom and I guess you're just going to have to deal with that. You haven't even met her yet, but you're passing a hell of a lot of judgment on her."

"I know that girls can be gold diggers Jack. You should've seen all the women I had to beat off with a stick for chasing after your fathers money."

"I haven't even asked her about going with me because I'm not sure I want her to, and just so you know she doesn't know anything about our money. She probably assumes we have some since dad's a doctor, but she's not really aware of just how much," he tried to tell his mother.

"I'd most certainly like to meet this young lady before we talk about this any more."

Their conversation was straining with Margo bringing up Kate once again.

"I don't want to talk about it. I'll call tonight to check in on dad."

He hung up quickly and called Kate since he hadn't seen her for a few days. She invited him over, and he accepted straight away, glad to be going to an environment where his parents wouldn't be.

He decided to walk to her place since it was only the afternoon and arrived shortly. He let himself in since he was expected, and saw Kate smile when her eyes set on him.

"I missed you," he breathed as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. They hugged for a few minutes, each reacquainting with the other. They pulled away a bit, Kate rubbing the outsides of his arms with her palms.

"So your mom's here?" she almost cringed.

"Yeah, you could say that," he laughed a bit. "It's always stressful with my mom around. She got in yesterday afternoon."

"Is she taking all of this okay?" she asked, concerned.

Jack nodded. "I guess so, as well as she handles any kind of stress though. By annoying everyone and picking fights. But that's my mom for you."

"That bad?" she scrunched up her face.

Jack could tell immediately that Kate feared meeting Margo.

"And sorry to break it to you, but she's not exactly thrilled with the idea of me having a girlfriend…" he trailed off.

"So I'm your girlfriend now?" she teased him. They'd both assumed it, but hearing it for the first time was awkward.

"Uh, yeah, I mean I just thought-" he stammered, looking flustered.

"I was just kidding Jack .Of course I am," she swatted him playfully on the arm. "So she doesn't exactly want to meet me, huh?"

"I'm sure you'll find a way to win her over," he tried to appease her. "I mean, you converted the all mighty Dr. Christian Shephard. You must be doing something right."

"Fair enough," Kate replied. "But mothers are a completely different story. You know that," she glared at him. "They feel threatened much more easily, like a girlfriend is trying to replace them or something," she pointed out. By the sounds of it, she had experience.

"Let's not worry about that now. I'm sorry I haven't been around much," he said, changing the subject.

They sat together in Kate's room, flicking the TV on and snuggling up.

"It's okay Jack. I understand that you need to be there for your family. It's really important," she understood.

"Thanks," he smiled at her, kissing her softly.

"I'm bored," Kate complained awhile later, although she loved snuggling up to Jack's warm body.

He laughed, as she always seemed to bring things up randomly.

"And how do you think we should fix this?" he asked flirtatiously, winking at her.

"Very funny," she deadpanned, gazing outside through the window. "Let's go outside," she smiled.

She hurried him into putting his shoes on and practically dragged him outside and started walking.

"So I see this on my walk to and from class every day and I always think about it," Kate started.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Jack asked, puzzled. They were headed in the direction of campus, although he had no idea where they were going.

They soon arrived to the big grassy area in the middle of campus, which was now filled with scattered fall leaves on the grass. It was the same field they'd cloud watched in, and Jack smiled at the memory.

"See that?" she pointed over to the far end of the field, where a giant pile of leaves had been collected by the university's maintenance workers.

Jack smirked at her and took off running towards it, laughing as he heard her huffs of protest.

"That's not fair," she breathed, and he slowed down a bit to let her catch up. She hopped onto his back, surprising him and sending him face forward into the pile of leaves.

"Ugh," he protested as he raised his head up, picking the dried leaves from his mouth in the process.

Jack rolled onto his back, although it was difficult in the bed of leaves. Kate was looking at him with an amused but slightly worried look on her face.

"Sorry?" she tried, but burst into laughter.

He caught her around her waist with his hands, pulling her to him as she tried to wriggle her way out of his grasp. Finally he'd turned her over and pinned her underneath him jokingly.

"You know something?" he asked her lightly.

"Hmm?" she teased.

"I love you," he said with a smile, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to say. In a way, it was.

She looked a bit shocked for a moment but responded.

"Good, because I love you too," she laughed.

It felt as if a weight had been lifted off of her chest, as if somehow saying those words freed her of a bind. Maybe she wasn't as scarred from her past as she thought. It felt right to say it this time.

She kissed him lightly on the lips, distracting him so she could get up from the pile and run away. He saw what she was doing and chased after her adamantly. They would both willingly admit that their behavior was childish, but deep down they had the feeling their youthful innocence would be gone soon enough.


	11. In Repair

**Thanks so much for your nice reviews :) Just a little note on this chapter- the beginning may not be the most exciting thing, but it's the meeting of Kate and Margo... just stick with it!**

Chapter Eleven: In Repair

Kate could feel her face flush. She was, after all, under intense scrutiny by Margo at the moment, and had been for the past several. Jack had invited both of his parents over for dinner that night in hopes that Margo and Kate could finally meet.

He'd overheard his parents talking the other night when he was over at their new rental place- his father assuring his wife that Kate was a good girl and was great for Jack. He hadn't been surprised to hear her huff and say she'd have to figure that out herself.

The four of them had been sitting in silence for awhile now. Jack looked over at Kate, who was spreading her food around her plate- anything to save her from looking up. Jack himself felt extremely awkward- he couldn't imagine how she was feeling.

As he looked over to his mother, he couldn't believe that she wasn't even pretending not to be staring at Kate. Her eyes wandered up and down, as if forming all of her opinions before she'd even heard Kate speak for more than a few seconds.

Suddenly Margo spoke.

"Jack have you thought about when you're going back home?" she asked him.

Jack cursed her in his mind, but didn't bother to hide the grimace appearing on his features.

"No, I'm not really sure of my schedule yet," he tried, hoping they could just drop the subject before something more came of it.

"Well you'll need to get back within the week. I could only bring so much with me, and like I said, I don't want movers there without your supervision. I just know something would go missing," she sighed.

He could feel Kate's eyes on him but decided to ignore the fact for now.

"I'll have to call the hospital and cancel my volunteering for a few days then," he argued.

"Well," Margo said with a wave of her hand. "Do whatever you have to do."

The fact that she dismissed all of the trouble he was going to have to go through just to get back to California frustrated him.

"Have you thought about the offer?" Christian asked Kate.

A puzzled look crossed her face, her brow furrowing and scrunching up.

"Dad don't-" he started, but it was too late by then.

"Oh," a look of realization washed over his tired features. "Sorry."

Jack buried his forehead in his hands, laughing at how out of control the situation had already managed to become.

"Okay, let's start over with this," he began, lying his hands down on the table.

"Mom, stop staring at Kate and making her feel so uncomfortable and don't bring something up that you know I haven't talked to her about yet," he stressed. His tone was strong and getting the point across, he assumed.

"I just figured with something this important you'd have discussed it with her already," Margo dismissed his opinion. "Why haven't you talked to her about it?"

"Yeah, Jack, why haven't you talked to me about it?" Kate asked, her tone high and slightly sarcastic as she smiled at him.

"Kate I didn't think you'd want me to drag all the way to the west coast just so you could help me pack up some boxes," he pointed out. "It won't be any fun."

Christian broke in. "That's why I asked you to invite her along with you son. So it wouldn't be such a burden."

"Or do you just not want me to go?" Kate asked him, this time more serious.

Margo was sitting back in her chair, enjoying the debacle unfolding in front of her. Before Jack could respond Margo interrupted.

"Well, personally I'm with Jack on this one. This is an extremely private matter for all of us. No sense in dragging others into it," she said with a bit of an attitude.

Jack shifted in his chair. "I never said I didn't want her to come with me," he offered. "I just haven't really had the chance to think it over," he tried.

"What's there to think about? Either you want me to come with you or you don't," Kate replied to him.

She softened a bit when she saw the worried look on his face. She could see that he hadn't meant to offend her by not asking her yet.

"It's not a big deal Jack. Let's just forget about it," she said, squeezing his hand under the table. "We can talk about it later," she added before taking another bite.

"I really think this should be discussed now that we're all together," Margo pushed, glaring at Jack.

One thing he'd always hated about his relationship with his mother was his inability to reason with her, his inability to figure her out. Margo was consistently unpredictable, to say the least.

"Don't push it dear," Christian suggested in a sing song tone.

"Well _someone_ needs to push," she snapped back. "You already know my opinion on this," she told Jack, folding her hands in her lap.

"Yeah, you've made it very clear," he replied sarcastically.

Not that he wanted to get into his personal matters with Kate in front of his parents, but the opportunity was presenting itself.

"How about it then?" he asked her softly. "Do you want to come with me?"

"Don't feel like you're being forced to ask me," Kate told him, glaring a bit at Margo, a look not missed by the older woman.

He chuckled despite the general awkwardness of the whole deal. "You should know better than anyone that I don't take to suggestions well."

She smiled at him, agreeing internally. "I'd love to go with you," she said simply, stroking his hand. "I hope I can get away from work for a few days too," she worried.

"Have you ever been to California?" Christian asked her, hoping to ease the tension a bit.

She nodded. "Once when I was a kid. My mom took me to Disneyland," she remembered, a slightly sad smile forming on her mouth.

"Well I hope you enjoy going back," he told her politely.

"Thanks for the offer," Kate smiled shyly.

Christian winked at her and Jack felt the surge of approval in his stomach- at least if his mother wouldn't warm up to Kate then his dad liked her enough for the two of them.

"I just know a good thing when I see it," he pointed out, this time causing the young couple to become bashful.

Margo now took a sudden interest in interrogating Kate, a drastic change to the silent judgment she had done earlier.

"So where did you grow up?"

"Iowa."

"Is that where you were born?"

"Yes."

"So why did you chose Columbia?"

"I liked it."

Jack and Christian shared a glance, both smirking at Kate's simple answers. She'd somehow managed to find a way to shoot Margo's game right back at her.

"What's your major?"

"Pre vet. Animal sciences."

"Ooh. Four words this time, dear. You're really starting to open up," Margo said sarcastically.

Kate smiled back at her, the two women coming to an understanding that their little game was over.

"So Kate, what's it like having to go all the way to Iowa visit your family?" Christian asked her, and while Jack was thrilled that he was taking an interest in her, he knew this subject probably wouldn't go over well. "The tickets must be horrendous," he added.

Kate glanced at Jack, looking almost a little upset, as if she was wondering why he hadn't told his dad not to bring these kinds of subjects up. Her glance finally shifted back to his father.

"Uhh, I don't go back," she replied softly. "Iowa wasn't much of a home when I left it. I don't really have anything to go back for," she explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Kate shook him off with her hands. "No, it's fine. I don't want sympathy from it. It's just the truth," she shrugged.

"What do your parents think about that?" Margo asked her.

"They wouldn't know," Kate replied icily, not embellishing.

"Let's just all stop this, okay? It's becoming pretty clear that we aren't going to get anywhere with this, not tonight anyway," Jack interrupted, tired of sitting back and watching the conversation explode.

For the first time that night Kate realized how immature she was being stooping to Margo's level. The difference between the two women was drastic, as one knew she was instigating, while the other didn't, and hadn't for all of her life.

"I'm really sorry Jack," she started, then looked at Christian and Margo as well. "This isn't how I wanted this to turn out at all. I'm not like this," she promised, putting her hand over her chest.

Jack looked at her, thankful that she was at least trying to subdue the ordeal.

"Don't blame this all on yourself," he offered. "Someone was pushing a little hard," he tried, encouraging his mother to speak up through his comment.

"_Mom_." He said expectantly.

"Oh. Right. I'm sorry Kate. I didn't mean to push," Margo told her half heartedly. "I'm sure you're a lovely girl."

While the words came out of both of their mouths, no one could be sure how sincere either of them were. It was obvious from that point that the two women had clashing personalities- both strong, opinionated women.

"We should get going. Christian?"

He nodded at her, and they thanked Jack for dinner.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning then?" Jack asked him, as he had a radiation treatment scheduled.

"Nah, it's fine Jack. I've got your mother here now to take care of me. I'm sure she'll call if she needs your help," he smiled.

"God Jack I'm so sorry," Kate immediate began apologizing when his parents had left. "I didn't mean to blow up like that. And I was such a bitch to your mom-"

He walked up to her, placing his hands on her soft hips. "Don't worry about it too much. Believe it or not you probably set a better impression on her because you actually have a backbone. She just won't ever want you to know that," he chuckled.

"Your mom is confusing," she admitted, finally allowing herself to crack a smile and sink her body into his.

"You're telling me. I'm the one who lived with her for 18 years!" he joked.

They stood together silently for a moment, pressed against each other and simply enjoying the quiet moment.

"Are you sure you really want me to come with you to California?" Kate asked him hesitantly. "I feel like there was a reason you didn't ask me before," she mused.

"I didn't want to freak either one of us out by asking you to travel across the country with me. And it's not for anything cool like a vacation- it's to pack up a bunch of my parent's priceless shit because my mom's afraid if she hires anyone it will all vanish."

She flattened her palms against her chest as she allowed him to wrap his arms around her backside.

"Hun you have to understand that I want to be there for you. I'm sure what your family is going through isn't easy," she reasoned.

He started getting a bit defensive with her at this suggestion.

"Okay, we're kind of in the same situation here because we both don't want each other to know some things about our past. I'm not suggesting that taking you home with me will open up a big can of worms, but there's a reason I don't go back very often. You know? It's not my life anymore."

"I know I'm that way with you too. And I wish I could open up easier. But I can't," she told him, looking into his brown orbs. "I thought you understood."

"I do," he pleaded. "I'm just pointing out that we both have a little bit of that, okay? I just don't want you to be surprised if I'm a different person there. Because I probably will be."

She shifted in his arms as they tightened around her, his grip somehow telling her how much emphasis he was placing.

"I'd be a totally different person back in Iowa too," she admitted. "But we'll never be going there, so don't worry about it," she brushed it off. "I can handle if you're different there. I'm not afraid to see it as long as you're not afraid to show me."

He smiled at her and drew her lips to his, enveloping them in a strong, passionate kiss.

"We'll figure it out," he said when they pulled apart.

"Want to stay here tonight?" he asked her in a husky voice.

She shivered as his breath ran down her back, one of the advantages of him being much taller than her. He could feel her smile against his chest.

"How about we go to my place? Heather's gone for the night," she added suggestively.

"You know I'd never argue with that," he smiled. "Otherwise we'd have a 3 person audience."

Kate scrunched up her nose at the thought of his roommates listening in on them.

"Yeah. Let's go," she laughed.

They gathered up their things and Jack packed an overnight bag, slinging it across his shoulders. Her apartment was dark and empty as expected as they entered it, locking the door behind them as they made their way into the living room.

Jack stood with his back to her, looking out the window and onto the busy street, filled with weekend students making their way from party to party. He was suddenly brought out of his trance by the feeling of Kate's lips on his own, aggressive and wet, her tongue quickly delving into his mouth and meshing with his own. He complied eagerly as his hands found their way to the hem of her tight fitting shirt.

Gaining momentum in the situation, he pressed her up against a wall, their bodies mashing into each others and Kate moaned at the sudden full contact. Her shirt was now being pulled over her heard, the surrounding air hitting her exposed skin with force. His warm hands pressed into her sides as they continued to kiss, warm and deep, urgent yet loving.

Kate teasingly rubbed her hands across the front of his pants, enjoying the groans of response it was receiving, feeling him harden gradually at her touch. Soon his shirt was off, his belt buckle undone and his jeans unzipped due to the uncomfortable feeling of his erection being restricted.

He picked her up with his arms, her legs instantly looping themselves around his waist. He dropped her onto the floor in front of the couch, working her pants off of her legs while she was still standing. Soon she was standing before him completely bare, and he pushed her back into a relaxed seated position on the cushions. By now she knew what he planned on doing, feeling his fingers trace down the length of her body and dip into her crease, wet with arousal.

"Mmm," she hummed, a smile crossing her face. He teased her clit with his fingers, causing her to squirm underneath him, and hitch her breath in when he inserted his finger all the way into her. He moved it in and out slowly, rubbing her clit with his thumb on the same hand.

She came quickly from the contact, clenching her legs around his hand. Kate recovered soon enough and slid her body off the couch, kneeling so she was even with him. She stared him in the eyes and he looked right back, neither breaking contact, but Jack visibly flinching when she grasped his erection in her hand through his boxers.

He was fully erect by now, standing tall, but she pumped her hand over him a few times anyway. Pushing his jeans and boxers down his legs he encouraged her to sit on the couch, pulling her hips to the edge. He surprised her by dipping his head down to her center, sucking her clit into his mouth quickly and making her buck against him. Jack smiled in satisfaction, kissing his way back up her body and placing his tip against her entrance.

"Now," she mumbled, pulling his hips against her.

Jack pushed into her slowly, feeling her heat wrap around him tightly, welcoming him. They moved together until Jack felt her starting to tremble around his shaft, her walls tightening. His fingers moved to her clit and stimulated her and she soon shouted and shook almost violently. As she pulsed around him, he felt his cock twitch and emptied himself, coming hard, pumping into her until he finished. Sweat glistened their bodies as they lay together, taking advantage of a night completely alone, with no chance of interruption.

The next morning she rubbed her face against his stubble, kissing the corners of his mouth until he awoke with a smile.

"Morning," he grumbled.

"I love you," she whispered. "Let's get some breakfast," she spoke into his ear.

"Mmm… I love you too," he said sincerely.

She dragged him out of bed by his hand and they quickly dressed. Neither of them felt like cooking so they began walking to a little breakfast shop on the block. After a greasy breakfast they strolled back to Kate's hand in hand, and although it was the end of October by now, the morning air was crisp and the sun was out.

They approached a man on the sidewalk in front of Kate's apartment building and she suddenly froze.

"Babe what's wrong?" he asked her, grasping her waist.

"Well well, lookie who I found," a man with stringy dishwater blond hair and a drawl said.

Her eyes widened as she faced him. "What the hell are you doing here Sawyer?"

He chuckled, seemingly unfazed by her hostile greeting. "Thought you'd be happy to see me," he winked.

Jack didn't know what was going on, but felt the need to step in since Kate seemed so upset.

"Listen man, she doesn't want you here so why don't you just leave?" he asked him in a harsh tone.

"Says who?"

"You need to leave. You promised I'd never see you again," she tried, squinting her eyes, trying to prevent the threatening tears from falling.

"Things change," Sawyer said simply, kicking his boots against the rough pavement of the sidewalk.

"Go!" she yelled at him, her body trembling.

"Wait a second and you'll know why I'm here!" he shouted back, a scowl on his face.

"This better be good."

He paused a moment before looking into her eyes. "You look good," he observed. "You never were made for Iowa."

She rolled her eyes in his direction.

"She's back," he said simply, and her head snapped up immediately.

Kate stared at him in disbelief, Sawyer nodding that it was indeed who she thought.

"Come on in," she said softly, leading him into the apartment, Jack trailing behind.

**I'd love to hear what you think... predictions and that sort of thing, and of course your thoughts on the chapter overall!**


	12. Trust Me

Chapter Twelve: Trust Me

"You're mighty hard to track down, you know that Freckles?" Sawyer tried to joke with her.

Despite how confused Jack was about the whole situation, he interrupted.

"Freckles?"

"Just ignore him," Kate looked him, her voice shaking slightly.

"What's all this about?" he couldn't help but ask after awhile.

"Her-"

"Sawyer stop," she told him sternly, now pacing around the room.

Jack looked to the man who he only knew as Sawyer. He had no idea who he was or how Kate knew him, but he could now feel the tall man's eyes burning into him.

"So you Freckles' new boyfriend?" he asked a bit sarcastically, smirking at him.

He didn't know whether he should even waste his breath talking to Sawyer, but decided to chance it anyway.

"Yeah, and who are you?"

Sawyer smiled at him and walked across the room, plopping down on the couch. He propped his boots up on the coffee table, earning a scoff from Kate.

"That's where things get interesting. Me and Freckles go way back. Grew up together," he added at the end. "That ain't the best part of our story, but I don't think she wants me tellin' you that. Being her new boy toy and everything."

"That's enough," Kate scolded him.

She rubbed her hands over her temples, trying to ease the tension that was crawling back into her mind, Sawyer reminding her of the home she tried so hard to forget. Starting over in life wasn't as easy as people made it seem- Kate moved across the country without telling anyone where she was going, yet she still found herself battling her past in the physical form.

"How did you find me?"

Sawyer rested his hands on the knees of his faded jeans. "Took me awhile, I'll admit that. You don't hide as well as you think Freckles," he said.

"You couldn't just call?"

"Thought it was time for a visit," he bit back cynically. "I knew you'd be happy to see me."

"So she's back?" Kate questioned him and he nodded, this time actually being serious. "She's back," she repeated, waiting for it to sink in.

Jack stood across from the two, not sure where his boundaries stood. "Okay, maybe this is none of my business, but what the hell is going on?" he asked Kate, crossing his arms in front.

"I didn't want to tell you," she started, her eyes welling up with tears. "I didn't want you to feel sorry for me," she added, losing her battle as tears splashed down her face.

He crossed the room and cupped her face in his palms, forcing her to look at him. "You can tell me anything," he whispered, feeling as though their privacy was being invaded with Sawyer sitting all but three feet from them. Kate nodded towards him but snapped out of the moment, turning her head out of Jack's grasp and sitting down across from Sawyer.

"How long?" she asked him simply.

He chewed his fingernails in thought, beating his foot on the floor in some type of imaginary beat. "'Bout two weeks."

"And she didn't want to see me?"

Sawyer hesitated and Kate caught it immediately, burying her face in her hands, a fresh stream of salty tears rolling down her red cheeks. "Why wouldn't she want to see me?" she whispered. Jack could do nothing but offer a soothing hand on her back, rubbing it in comforting circles. He'd known Kate long enough to realize there was no forcing her into telling anything. Besides, at the rate things were going now he figured he'd find out soon enough.

"I think she wants to, she just doesn't know where to start," Sawyer told her, a flash of jealously running through him when he watched Kate fall into Jack as if he were the only thing that could save her.

"I haven't laid eyes on her for five years and that _still_ wasn't enough time for her?" Kate was now becoming angry and frustrated. She'd always figured she'd left to get away from her life, to start over without her, but when she came back she'd be all Kate's again. The realization that she was wrong all along hit her hard- the prospect of her mother being back, coming back when she finally wasn't there was ironic.

"My mom," she finally, weakly admitted to Jack, and though she said few words he understood their meaning.

Sawyer sat back and watched Kate explain everything to Jack, seeing how his expression changed further in, and he could see that the two really did share a bond.

"She left when I was a junior in high school," she started. "My dad- well he hadn't been in the picture for quite awhile. I liked it when he left, but then my mom, my one saving grace- left. I left one morning for school and she kissed me on the cheek like she always did," Kate sniffled, pausing, scooting away from Jack and isolating herself. "Then when I came home that night all of her stuff was gone. She basically left me a note telling me that she was okay and not to worry about her, but she needed to leave. How selfish is that?" she cried, and although she felt vulnerable she could feel the weight lifting out of her body.

After a few deep breaths she continued. "So I kept up with everything for as long as I could- I could stay in the house because the mortgage was fully paid, but I couldn't keep up with everything else. Not by myself." Her eyes were dry and wide now, reliving her past.

"After awhile I couldn't handle it, so I stayed with some friends," she said, glancing at Sawyer. "And it was okay for awhile. But I knew she wasn't coming back, at least not in the near future. So I finished high school and came to Columbia. Where I thought no one knew I was," she finished, eyeing Sawyer.

"Relax, no one else knows," he assured her, reaching over to rest his hand on her knee. Jack saw Kate recoil at the touch.

Kate sat in expectation, wondering what Jack thought of her pathetic troubled past, what he thought of the pathetic teenager no one seemed to want. He stared down at his feet, seemingly absorbing her story, the story she tried so hard to keep from him. He said nothing, just scooted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, encouraging her head to lie on him.

"I'm sorry that happened to you Kate," he whispered to her. He felt her suddenly pull away from him at the words.

"But I don't feel sorry _for_ you," he added quickly, seeing that it was what she needed, part of the reason she didn't tell him in the first place. "You're such a strong person and I would never take that away from you," he admitted, and she finally looked him in the eyes again. "Thank you for telling me," Jack breathed into her ear, his hand stroking her soft hair.

They sat in silence for a few moments, even Sawyer knowing when to keep his trap shut.

"But," Jack whispered. "It's okay to crumble every once in awhile. It's okay to let your guard down around me," he added. "Okay?" She eventually nodded against him. The room turned awkward as the three sat in quiet space. Sawyer's thoughts churned in his mind and he finally couldn't hold them back.

"What the hell is your name?" he bluntly asked Jack.

"Jack," he said simply, and being the polite person he was, reached his hand over to Sawyer's. He eventually grasped it in a firm hand shake.

"Sawyer."

Jack smirked at him. "Yeah, I got that."

"What am I going to do?" Kate thought out loud. "She obviously doesn't want to see me."

Jack tried his hand at reasoning with her. "Do you really think she'd come back to the exact place where you grew up if she didn't want to see you ever again? She had to have known that there was at least some chance that you were still there," he pointed out.

She took in his words. "I guess you're right. But when someone just gets up and leaves- just flat out abandons you… I'm never going to stop doubting Jack."

"In your own right Freckles," Sawyer added. "But I wouldn't a come here if I didn't think she wanted to see you. I wouldn't try to hurt you on purpose," he tried.

Kate huffed. "Didn't stop you before, did it?"

He shook off her stab. "You didn't tell her you were coming here did you?" she asked, panicking.

Sawyer shook his head. "Of course not. I don't even think she knows I'm still around."

"How do you know she's back for good?"

"I don't. But she had a moving truck and she moved into a small house on the other side of town from where you grew up. Looked like she was at least planning on staying for awhile," he explained. "Long enough to move into a house."

"God, I haven't seen her since I was 17," she pointed out. "She's missed this huge chunk of my life, she's made me close up and forced me to put all of these walls up," she motioned with her hands. "Why do I want to see her when she's fucked me up so much?"

At that moment Jack realized that he and Kate were more similar than he ever could've imagined. While the two stories with their mothers were completely different, Jack found himself asking the same thing- why did he still want his mother's approval so badly when all she'd ever done was be a negative force in his life? Why did he owe her anything?

"Because she's your mom," he smiled at her. "And everyone loves their mom. No matter what." He could feel his eyes starting to water as Kate stared at him, grasping his words and their similar situations.

"Do you two need a moment?" Sawyer snarled.

Kate laughed, a true laugh and Jack felt elated, his mind eased slightly. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, sniffling in the process.

"So you came all the way over here to tell me this?" Kate asked him, curious. If he indeed had, Sawyer was a changed man. While she knew people could change, she herself certainly had, she had a hard time picturing him changing all that dramatically in the almost three years it had been since she last saw him. When he broke her heart, but most of all, her spirit.

He wasn't really a bad guy like most people made him out to be. Sure, he had a surly disposition and a horrible lack of boundaries, but deep down he was a good guy and rarely had bad intentions.

"Don't get ahead of yourself Freckles," he started, rubbing his palms together. "I'm in the city on some… business," he withheld, smiling lightly at his own lack of information. "Figured a few of my friends owed me some favors, so they found you for me. I'm just making a pit stop on my way to bigger, better things," he added dramatically.

She couldn't help but smile as he tried to dampen his caring actions. "Regardless of why, thank you," she said sincerely. She knew his job was over now- he had nothing to do with how she handled the future, and whether or not she chose to see her mother.

Kate still harbored some seriously bitter feeling towards Sawyer, but still felt extremely grateful he'd cared enough to tell her about her mother's return. "Do you want to stay for lunch or something?" she asked him tentatively, secretly hoping he'd say no, but at least she'd offered.

"Nah we both know this is the end of the line," he drawled. "I'll be back in Iowa in a few weeks, maybe if I give you my number you can call. And ask me about…. whatever," he added awkwardly. She knew he meant to ask about her mother.

He scrawled it down on a scrap of paper and pushed it into her palm. "See ya in another life Freckles," he finally said. To his surprise she gave him a short hug. He nodded at Jack and let himself out.

"I'm such a mess," she admitted, running her hands through her hair. "I never wanted to drag anyone else into this," she stressed. "Especially not you. You have enough to worry about with your dad." She was starting to cry again, a trait Jack still wasn't used to, being as he hadn't seen it before today.

"I don't think there's anything I can say to make you feel any better, and I'm really sorry for that. I can't picture what you went through- making it on your own when you were so young."

She smiled sadly against him. "You just do what you have to do."

"Me? I couldn't even do my own laundry when I was 17. No way in hell I would've made it to where you are today," he said supportively, laughing a little at the memory.

Kate finally allowed herself to be comforted by Jack, accepting his open arms and squishing into his chest as he wrapped them lovingly around her. They swayed together in the kitchen for quite some time.

"I don't know what to do. I want to see her, but there's such a huge part of me that is so angry with her. There's a part of me that actually _hates_ her Jack. I can't just go and see her and try to pretend that everything is fine," she started.

"So you don't pretend," he said after awhile. "If you choose to see her, and that's completely your decision," he added, "You don't pretend everything's fine. You lay it all out there, and at least if everything doesn't work out you know you put it all out, that you tried. And you'll go on with your life, and you'll still love your mother," he finished.

"I could say the same thing to you, you know," she told him seriously.

"Kate, I could never complain the same degree as you. I don't deserve to. No matter how much my mother annoys me, she's here; she was always there for me even if it didn't feel like it. She may not approve of much, but I know she loves me," Jack almost pleaded with her.

"It's going to take time hun. I know she disappeared in one day, but it's going to take longer than that to decide if you want to let her back in."

She nodded against his chest. "I know you're right. It's just overwhelming."

"Why don't I draw a bath for you and I'll call my dad and check in?" he asked sweetly.

"You spoil me," she laughed lightly, the sadness still present in her eyes.

When she returned to the bathroom a few minutes later, the tub was filled with hot water, bubbles layering the top, scented lavender.

"Relax," he whispered to her. She kissed him tenderly on the lips, giving him all of her emotion. They danced over each other for awhile, keeping the kiss mostly innocent, a few brushes of the tongue here and there. He nipped at her mouth sweetly, ending the kiss, rubbing his large hands across her back. She rested her forehead against his lovingly, a silent way of thanking him for all he'd done.

"I'll never abandon you Kate," he said softly, grasping her bare waist.

Her eyes turned cold and she took a step back from him. "Don't _ever_ make promises like that," she said, as she shut the bathroom door behind her, leaving a confused Jack standing speechless in the hallway.


	13. I Should've Been After You

**Thanks for all your amazing reviews, I'm glad you all liked the last chapter so much.**

Chapter Thirteen: I Should've Been After You

"Open the door Kate," he said, louder this time.

She'd been ignoring Jack's increasingly desperate pleas to talk with her for the past ten minutes, sinking her head down into the water to help drown him out. Still, it didn't help much. She could easily hear his deep voice vibrating through the water, begging her to open the door. Kate knew that he'd meant well- but nonetheless, he made her a promise. One that had blatantly been broken before.

"Fine. If you're not going to talk to me then I'm not going to stand here like an idiot," he began from outside the bathroom. "I'm going home. Call me when you decide to stop being so pissed off at the world," Jack shot at her.

Kate felt her eyes water at the sound of his voice. His tone was angry and frustrated, and while she'd put herself completely out in the open, he'd done nothing but be supportive. Then he said something, promised her something that most women would melt at, but only made Kate retreat.

Her skin was starting to wrinkle from being the water so long, the temperature now far from the steaming bath she'd first gotten into. Sighing, she lifted herself from the tub, wrapping a fluffy white towel around her wet body and padded her way to her bedroom.

_'__How can anyone make a promise like that?__'_she thought as she dressed. Kate had a hard enough time just committing for a date, let alone making a promise that she would never leave someone. How could anyone be so sure of themselves?

They spent two nights apart, neither willing to override their stubbornness long enough to contact the other. After checking in with his parents, satisfied enough that they didn't need his help, Jack set off to campus, another full day of classes ahead of him. He sat in the lecture hall of his Biochemistry class, and cursed softly, but audibly when the professor handed out a quiz. With everything that was going on in his life, and all the incredible circumstances, he was unprepared. Sure, he'd been to lecture and hadn't missed one, but he hadn't been reviewing the material as much lately. Jack's efforts weren't helped by the fact he was still reeling from he and Kate's fight. And biochemistry would never be something he could consider without thinking of her. He of course walked out of the building at the end of class frustrated, looking down at the ground while he walked.

"Jack!" a voice called out. "Jack!" it said again, when he apparently didn't notice.

Brought out of his trance by the yelling, he looked up and into a set of intensely blue eyes.

"Oh. Juliet, hey," he replied, startled by her appearance. She was standing in front of him with an expectant look crossing her stiff features. He noticed that her hair was shorter and she seemed to have a dark tan from the summer.

She wrapped her arms around him, forgetting the pleasantries and getting right to what she wanted- him.

"How have you been?" he asked weakly, pulling away from her grasp. He shuffled his feet on the ground, looking down every so often to break the intense eye contact.

She smiled, or did she? He could never quite understand that expression she gave. It was more of an unreadable smirk, really.

"I've been okay," she admitted. "Just another year at Columbia, huh?" she laughed lightly.

Despite his best efforts, Jack found himself getting pulled into her again. Like always.

"Yeah I know what you mean." He and Juliet were the same year in school and had met at the end of their freshman year in a psychology lecture. "I'm ready to be done, but I still have quite a ways to go. I think I picked the wrong career," he added with a chuckle.

After a brief awkward silence their eyes shifted over each other's. "I've missed you," she admitted. "I haven't actually seen you in awhile, you know."

"Yeah…"

"Jack I still don't understand what happened," she told him, searching his brown eyes.

"You know what happened Juliet. I cheated on you. End of story. You shouldn't want me after that," he told her.

He was finding it hard to deal with Juliet, like always since they broke up, but his current situation with Kate wasn't helping his boundaries at all. He found himself reminiscing about his and Juliet's relationship. Sure, he may not have been deeply in love with her, but he had loved her, nonetheless. And right about now, that was sounding better than digging himself in deep with Kate and her being too hurt from her past to return those feelings.

"I've already told you that I do," she smirked, of course. "Why don't we go for a coffee or something?" she asked him. "Just to catch up." She raised her hands in the air as if to say it was an innocent request.

Jack nodded and they walked together to a nearby coffee shop. He had a break in between classes and nothing better to do after his disastrous quiz.

"We used to come here a lot," he stated plainly, circling his thumb around the rim of the saucer.

She nodded. "We used to do a lot of things."

"I'm seeing someone," he blurted out before he could stop himself. Subconsciously he didn't want her to know. As much as Juliet lingered on in his life, he didn't want to cause her further pain.

Juliet's face remained straight, seemingly unphased. "Oh," she said simply. "I didn't know."

"That doesn't mean we can't be friends," he tried.

She scowled at him, giving him a doubtful look. "You know as well as I do that we've never been friends."

"Look, I just can't deal with this right now, okay?" He rubbed the back of his neck as it began to stiffen. "I have a lot on my plate right now and I can't do this."

"I was wondering how long you being nice to me was going to last," she scoffed, then laughed a bit.

He looked at her, feeling sympathetic once again. In his mind he figured he owed her something, for breaking her heart. For cheating on her and turning into that guy he hated, yet she didn't.

"Don't you miss me?" she questioned him, scooting closer. He tried to break eye contact with her, but she brought her hand up to his face and held his scruffy face.

Jack felt her lips on his, and surprisingly, stop wasn't the first thing his mind shouted to him. He thought of how different Juliet's lips were than Kate's, how they felt thin and rough, demanding. However, he found himself kissing her back, his mouth attached to hers. When her tongue traced his lips, he pulled away, the seriousness dawning on his cloudy mind.

"This can't happen," he breathed. "I love Kate. I'm in love with her," he said simply. A mixture of emotions formed inside of him- he was giving Kate up way too easily. His stubbornness was only getting in the way now- no matter what Kate said, she _needed_ someone to pull her up. And Jack was just that person. He silently thanked his mother for raising him, for teaching him to be demanding.

"I have to go," he said quickly, lying a few bills down on the table and leaving. Juliet stood up in the booth, about to speak, but closed her mouth when she realized how worthless it was.

"No one can change his mind," she muttered, defeated. "Kate…"

He blew off the rest of his classes and walked to Kate's apartment, hoping above all else that she'd be there.

"I don't want to talk," she said when she opened the door. Her arms were crossed in front of her, her face straight. She made a move to close the door, but he stuck his hand out to stop it.

"Look, we're both stubborn as hell, and this isn't going to be solved if we drag it out any longer," he pleaded with her.

"Solve?" she asked him. "How are we supposed to 'solve' this Jack? There's no way you can promise me what you did."

He looked into her eyes and placed his hands on her shoulders, feeling hurt when he felt her try to shrug them off.

"How can you say that? How can you automatically know that I'm just going to up and leave you?" he stressed.

Her eyes turned that sharp, frosty color they had when the fight first broke out. "How are you so sure you won't?" Kate fired back. "How are you so sure that you want to be me with me?"

"Kate, I know I want to be with you, and I don't think I have to explain why. But you have to know that when I said I wouldn't abandon you, I meant it."

"It's easy to say it. Everyone does that," Kate complained. "It's keeping it that's the hard thing."

He took a step back from her. "I will keep it," Jack paused, stuttering almost. "When I- when I promised you that, I didn't mean that we'd always be together. It wasn't a promise for forever Kate."

She looked crushed as she took this news in. "But-"

"No, let me explain," he replied, motioning his hands in front of him. "It's hard to word this right Kate." Finally, "I _can't_ promise you that we'll be together forever, because I'm not a mind reader, you know?"

She nodded back at him, her stance softening a bit.

"But I think we're great together, and I think it's possible, definitely. What I promised you was that I wouldn't up and leave you. I would never do that. If… for some reason, we don't work out," he dared to say "it won't be because I left." Her eyes shifted to his. "This isn't coming out right," he offered.

"I understand what you mean Jack. It sounds a bit contrived, planning our breakup- doesn't it?" she thought out loud.

He shook his head in his hands. "That's not what I meant."

"I know." Kate paused and looked up at him, his frame towering over her. "I don't react well to promises," she admitted, although he clearly already knew.

"I wasn't trying to fix you or whatever, okay? I want to be here for you, like you've been here for me with my dad. I know I'll probably never get you to admit that you need support, but I'll be there for you. No matter what," he tried. In a way, it was still a promise, but he couldn't hold himself back, not now.

"Don't think that I'm a big crying heap of nothing just because my mom came back. I lived without her for five years, I think I'll be fine," she tried.

"No, it's important to you, understandably. That's gotta be heavy weight, Kate, and you can't ignore it."

Her back was against the kitchen wall now, feet in front of her as she leaned. "I'm not-"

"I'm going to interrupt, just to say that with all of this shit going on with my dad, it's just made me realize even more that things can be gone in an instant. This is less about us than it is about you and your mom."

They paused and stood silently in front of each other.

"I'm scared she won't want me," she admitted quietly, voice wavering.

He pulled her against him, meaning to comfort her, but found himself ease in her arms as well, finding her touch magnetic.

"You have to try though. I know I said it was up to you, and I guess it is, but I'm going to be pushy. Maybe it's not my right, but I'm going to. And for the record, anyone who doesn't want you is mental."

She breathed in against his chest, the fingers on one hand scrunching the fabric of his shirt. He continued.

"Because you're this intelligent, funny, caring, incredibly charming, sweet, sassy free spirit. And who doesn't want that?" he teased.

"You can stop stroking my ego now," she joked. "I'm sorry I blew up at you. I know you only meant well," she said afraid to look him in the eye.

His fingers grazed under her chin and lifted it so their eyes were level. "I know you are. You wear your emotions on your sleeve sometimes," he kidded, leaning his head down to kiss her sweetly.

"I missed you," he told her as they wrapped their arms around each other. Kate pressed her lips against his again, nibbling on his bottom lip softly then running her tongue across it. His mouth opened against hers and they melded together in a slow tangle. Jack felt a pang of guilt as they kissed- as good as it was to be back with her, he thought of the kiss he allowed with Juliet. How he'd kissed her right back, even if it was only for a moment.

Eventually Kate's hands ran across his waistband, dipping them in and teasing him and he decided to not bring Juliet up at that moment. He pushed her against the edge of the counter, grasping her hips and sitting her on the cold, hard surface. She latched her legs around his waist, pulling him hard against her, his body ground against hers, their lips still attached and roaming.

"She's not here," Kate breathed against his ear, almost as if she could read his thoughts. "Visiting her parents in Buffalo."

She got a chill when he laughed against her neck, his whiskers tickling her. Knowing how much she liked it he rubbed his stubble against the sensitive skin on her neck, sucking and nibbling lightly. They were in no mood to take their time as they pulled on each other's clothing, stripping down one article at a time. Finally he pushed into her, both of them pausing to feel the connection.

Jack's hands gripped her hips almost tightly as she remained seated halfway on the counter, tilted back slightly to accept his thrusts. He finally began moving, her slick walls tight around him as always, the pressure almost too much. Her arms draped around his back loosely, running her nails over the smooth skin.

The pair continued moving together, driving closer to the peak and he began moving faster, pushing Kate's legs back so he could drive deeper. The deep sensation, along with Jack's hand brushing lightly over her clit sent Kate over the edge, her nails digging into his back. He let himself go, grimacing at the feeling of her nails scratching his back, but the feeling of her clenching so tightly around his shaft proving too much. He grunted and came with a few hard thrusts, covering her mouth with his.

He moved them to Kate's room, both lying on the bed, face to face.

"Let's never move," Kate moaned, nuzzling into his chest.

Jack laughed. "I'd agree, but we have a trip to California waiting for us, huh?" he smiled.

"Yeah, I guess we do."

**Please keep spoiling me! Leave one and let me know what you think.**


	14. Forward Motion

Chapter Fourteen: Forward Motion

Kate grimaced as she lifted the heavy brown box into her arms. Jack rushed to her side.

"Here, let me help you with that," he told her, lifting it seemingly easily from her and setting it with the other boxes that needed to be packed into the truck.

She stood with her hands on her hips, still observing the atmosphere, the home that Jack had grown up in. On the plane he'd warned her about how extravagant his mother liked things, and she'd had no problem imagining it, but actually being there and seeing it left her a bit awestruck. When they'd pulled up and into the driveway in the rental car, Kate got out slowly, trying to take in the large, monstrous, but gorgeous house Jack had once called his home.

The inside was no different, and Kate was now well aware of just how much money the Shephards had. Decorated lavishly, it didn't feel much like a home to Kate; apparently not to Jack either. The home housed 6 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms, from what she'd been able to find. Jack could easily tell she wasn't comfortable in the house; hell, he wasn't either and never really had been. Margo had sent them with an extensive list of all the things she simply couldn't live without for the upcoming months, and while most of it seemed extreme, Kate knew better than anyone that if you surround yourself with objects, simple things, they remind you of home, whether you want them to or not.

She'd found that out when she moved from Iowa to New York City. She brought most of her life with her, but when she set it all up in a different place, it still reminded her of home, when that was the last thing she desired. So she'd gotten rid of almost everything and started fresh.

"Where does this go?" she yelled from the kitchen, to Jack who was in the formal sitting room.

He walked in, looking sweaty and a bit tired. "Oh, ummm, I guess we'll just start a new box for the kitchen," he answered.

"Why does your mother need her best china? Is she planning on having dinner parties?" she joked.

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows why she needs half of this, but if bringing it back to her will get her off my case then I'm going to do it."

"Fair enough," she laughed.

Kate and Margo had met several more times before her and Jack's trip to California, and while it never exactly went smoothly, their meetings were nowhere near as hostile as the first. It came as a welcome situation to Jack, who was afraid that his mother simply had it out for Kate. Margo and Juliet had almost always gotten along, but it was the result of some pretty hefty sucking up on Juliet's part. Jack knew Kate well enough to realize she'd never act to please Margo, at least not intentionally. It would probably be a rough road for the two.

"Can we stop and get something to eat?" she whined.

"Yeah. Sorry, I just want to get this done and get out of here," he hurried.

They had to throw everything out of the fridge since Margo left on such short notice. Even under the circumstances, it surprised Jack that she'd just dropped everything and gone to be with her husband. The family always had a housekeeper and a cook when he was growing up, and he couldn't imagine his mother had given up those privileges in place of cooking and cleaning for herself.

"Just let me finish this box and then we can go, okay?" he told her, his back to her.

Kate stood and watched him, the way his back muscles were defined, his black t-shirt clinging to him while he struggled with the box. His jeans rode low on his slim hips, and she couldn't help but let her mind wander, and marvel at how well he wore a pair of jeans. One of the sexiest things about Jack was the fact he didn't know he was sexy; he was seemingly oblivious to the way women looked at him.

"Oh, let me help," she snapped out of it, picking up a corner of the bulky box and carrying it to the moving truck.

"Thanks," he gritted, a little out of breath. "So where do you want to go?" he asked her after a moment.

She shrugged. "I don't really know the area," she admitted with a laugh. "I've never really been."

"Right," he nodded. "Umm, I haven't been back in awhile but we'll just drive around and see what catches our eye, k?"

They soon arrived at one of Jack's favorite restaurants in LA; and even in such a big city, the workers seemed to recognize him.

"Jack Shephard!" an older man yelled happily at him. "Where the hell have you been hiding?" he winked at him.

Jack laughed at shook the man's hand. "Nick!" he greeted him happily. "I don't make it back much anymore, do I?"

"That's for sure. How's school and everything going? Are you a doctor yet?" he laughed.

He shook his head, grinning to himself. Maybe home wasn't a bad as he told himself. "Nah, not yet. I'm not even in medical school," Jack groaned and rolled his eyes.

Nick's eyes shifted to Kate. "And who's this beautiful young lady with you?" he eyed Jack.

Kate blushed furiously. Jack told her she was beautiful all the time, but she still had a hard time grasping the fact people thought that about her. "This is Kate," he said simply, grasping one hand around her waist. "My girlfriend."

"Oh," Nick winked. "Lovely to meet you dear. How did you get dragged all the way out here?"

Kate returned his handshake and smiled, but glanced over to Jack. Did he want her to be the bearer of bad news? Jack answered for her, thankfully.

"We're uh, packing some things up for my folks. They're renting in New York," he explained vaguely.

The older man seemed to accept this answer, maybe seeing that it was a fragile subject. "Well tell them I said hi," he finished.

After they'd eaten they drove back to the house. "I guess people still remember me around here," he smiled, turning his head to look at her while they were stopped at a red light.

She paused. "You're kind of hard to forget Jack Shephard." Kate smiled devilishly at him, a mischievous gleam in her eye.

He laughed. "Something tells me you're up to no good."

Kate put on her best innocent face. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Their flirtatious conversation was rudely interrupted by Jack's ringing cell phone. He glanced at the caller ID, rolling his eyes.

"It's my mom," he sighed, but picked up anyway.

"Yeah mom, we got the china…. No, we didn't break anything."

He rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on his features while he spoke, or rather listened, to his mother.

"What?" he asked all of a sudden. "What do you mean it's not working?"

A worried look was now cast on his face, his forehead furrowing like it always did when he was concerned.

"Isn't it a little early to tell?" he asked again. "My dad," he mouthed to Kate, who now was getting worried herself.

"I don't get it, I thought she said it would take a few months before they could see if any progress had been made?"

Jack's question driven phone call with his mother continued for several minutes. All Kate could tell was something was wrong with Christian's treatments, or things weren't going very well. Finally they hung up and he rubbed his weary eyes with his hands as he steered the vehicle into the Shephard's driveway.

"So what's going on?" she asked him tentatively.

He sighed, clearly stressed and disheartened from the phone call. "They ran some tests and the radiation isn't doing much to help my dad," he explained. "And the cancer spread, like they warned him about."

"Oh God. How bad is it?"

"They don't know yet, but they're not sure if they can even save his eye. And now that it's spread he's going to have to start having chemo and radiation," he rambled.

"I'm sorry," she said truthfully. Lately she'd found it ironic that Jack had his parents, but didn't really want them around, and was now in the position that he could very well lose one of them, while Kate, deep down, wanted nothing more than to be loved and wanted by her mother but had no choice, until now.

She could see him trying to hold his emotions in, the tears welling in his eyes. She wrapped her arms around him, right there in the driveway and he held onto her tight, grabbing fistfuls of her shirt. She said nothing, partly because she couldn't think of anything remotely comforting in a situation like this one, and because words seemed like the last thing they needed. Anything Jack wanted to let out was shown in his embrace, the way his tears eventually rolled down his cheeks silently. Kate only knew because she felt the wet spot on her shirt and the way he fumbled with his hands to dry his face.

"Thanks for being here Kate," he said eventually. She pulled away and looked at him, glassy eyes and all.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," she smiled. They stayed outside for awhile, enjoying the warm California air, and the sunny day.

"It's probably freezing back home," Kate laughed.

"Yeah there's nothing like 75 in November," he replied. "I like the seasons in New York though," he said awhile later.

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Tell me that when we have to walk to class in -20 degree weather."

"True."

As the afternoon wore on, Jack's mood gradually elevated once he realized there was nothing he could do about his father here in California. He'd deal with it once he and Kate returned to New York City. His mind wandered to his father, trying to imagine the strapping, strong man that had raised him morphing into the weak, fragile, sick man he'd surely become while dealing with his illness.

"Hey you," she said, trying to get his attention.

"Hmm?"

She placed her hands on his biceps and he eventually looked at her expectantly.

"You still owe me a grand tour," she smirked.

He huffed when she jumped onto his back, gripping her arms tightly around his chest. He laughed, quite a feat after the day he'd had, and hooked his forearms under her knees to support her weight. She snuggled her head into his neck and placed a kiss there, breathing in his scent along the way.

"You smell good," she mumbled into his ear.

He continued carrying her around the large house, showing her all the rooms and telling her stories of all the trouble he'd gotten into growing up.

"Yeah, my mom soaped my mouth one time because I told one of the ladies in her league that her dress was ugly."

"You deserved it," she argued, laughing lightly.

He let out a moan of protest. "Kate, I was five!"

"Okay, so I saved the best part for last," he began, approaching a doorway and stopping outside for dramatic effect.

"Your bedroom?" she asked hopefully. It was the only place she could think of they hadn't seen.

"Bingo," he said while opening the door in front of him, revealing a large bedroom with dark navy walls and white crown molding. The furniture was clearly upscale, but much less stuffy than the rest of the house. The walls were covered with old posters, like any teenagers bedroom was. Trophies littered the tops of the furniture, showcasing his accomplishments.

"Guess they made some changes while I was gone," he laughed.

"What, you mean you didn't like to have all these trophies out, bragging about how wonderful you are?" she asked him sarcastically.

"Hardly," he said, putting her down on the ground softly

Jack let her gaze around the room for a moment, flopping down onto his bed, finding it foreign but comfortable. She soon lay down beside him and settled her head into the crook of his shoulder, feeling the warmth that exuded from him.

"Never told me you were such a star athlete," she teased him, looking over at him and grinning at his embarrassment. "I think it's cute you're so bashful about everything."

He cut her off with a kiss, and while she would've loved to keep teasing him, kissing him was a fine replacement. She darted her tongue out and traced his smooth lips with it, loving the contrast between his scruffy face and soft lips. He accepted eagerly and their mouths opened for each other, caressing tongues in motion. It was the first time they'd made time for each other since they'd arrived early that morning. Jack rolled over on top of her and pressed his weight against her. She gasped when she could already feel the beginnings of hardness through his pants.

"Someone's a little antsy, huh?" she laughed lightly, running her hand down between their bodies and stroking him through his jeans.

He laughed against her. "I guess you got me there," Jack said, but trailed off as she continued her motions on him. "I've wanted to do this all day," he admitted, kissing her neck with his warm mouth.

Kate squirmed when his hands grabbed her ass, pulling her against him harder, tighter as he snaked himself down her body with his fingers. Finally he grazed her stomach, working against the hem of her shirt and eventually pulling it over her head. He smiled when he was met with her soft, creamy breasts, and flat stomach.

"You're so sexy," he mumbled against her, kissing his way up from her stomach to her mouth, capturing her lips with his once again.

"I couldn't stop staring at you earlier," she told him with a smile, and they both realized this was going to be a playful session. It came as a relief, as their lives were already serious enough at the moment. "You shouldn't be allowed to look so good in a pair of jeans."

"The feelings mutual," he grinned, unclasping her bra from behind her and quickly sucking a nipple into his mouth. His hands moved down to the button of her jeans, undoing it and snaking them down her smooth, long legs.

While he was distracted, Kate flipped them over and urged him to sit up, pulling his tight shirt over his head, revealing the tight chest and abs she loved to admire. They sat chest to chest, mouth to mouth as they rolled their tongues together, meshing mouths slowly and deeply. Her hands worked the back of his neck, stoking light patterns there that sent chills down his body. He groaned when her fingers danced over the button of his jeans, pulling them down, along with his boxer briefs in one swift motion. Kate's small fingers grasped around his hardened shaft, eliciting a hiss from him.

Jack closed his eyes tightly; the pressure of her hand wrapped around his shaft a feeling too good to last long. He felt her hand move down to the base, and her mouth wrap around the sensitive head. He moved his hands to the back of her head as her tongue swirled around him and her mouth delved down further. The warmth encased his length, moving up and down steadily, her tongue running over the sensitive underside, her hand rubbing over his tightening balls. Soon it became too much, and he ran his palm over her cheek in warning.

"Kate," he mustered, but she continued her actions on him, pumping her mouth up and down on him, her hand gripping the base and moving slightly. She felt his thighs clench and his hips thrust gently into her mouth as he came, shouting explicatives, his seed hitting her throat and running down. She licked him clean and released his semi erect shaft from her mouth, crawling up her body. He was lying on his back, a small smile playing on his face, his eyes half open and glazed over in a blissful state.

"You're too amazing to be real," he breathed.

She pressed herself against his hard body, kissing him and letting him taste himself slightly in her mouth. Kate whimpered when she felt how wet she was, all from pleasing him. Suddenly his fingers parted her, delving into her, two slipping in easily. He pumped them in and out of her, getting soft sounds of pleasure from Kate, who started to rock against his hand. Her clit rubbed against him and he felt himself hardening again. His fingers danced over her sensitive clit, flicking it and few times then applying pressure and rubbing.

"Oh God," she moaned. He wanted her to come, so he continued rubbing against her and pushing his fingers in and out of her wetness, and she clenched hard around him.

He felt her tighten and removed his fingers, replacing them with his hard cock, sliding in quickly and filling her. Jack pressed his open mouth against hers and swallowed her moan of surprise and satisfaction, bucking into her until he was buried to the root inside of her.

"I want it hard," she told him huskily, her head thrown back on the blanket. He drove into her almost roughly, smacking against her, afraid that he would hurt her, but her moans and encouragement told him otherwise. Her walls were clenched tightly around him from her previous orgasm, and she was so wet he could move at whatever pace they wanted.

He sunk his body into hers, holding himself up on his forearms, as Kate ran her hands up and down his bulging arms. Their mouths attached once again, dueling and repeating the actions from below. After awhile he could sense she was close and adjusted himself inside her so he now brushed against her bundle of nerves every time he thrust inside her. They were loud, too loud if anyone else had been in the house.

"Come on Jack I'm so close," she begged him. He grinded against her, marking her neck in the process and she came, shouting against him as her walls tightened and pulsed around him. He continued and let her ride it out before succumbing to his own needs and coming hard, burying himself inside her with one last hard thrust.

"Shit," he muttered breathlessly against her, their warm bodies pressed against each other. Kate's fingers ran a delicate line down his back and back up again.

"Good thing your parents aren't here," she joked and they cracked up, knowing how loud they'd been.

"I think they would've had a coronary," he breathed. "I've never had sex in my parent's house before," he admitted.

She looked at him with doubt in her eyes. "It was always a car or something," he admitted, a little embarrassed. Luckily she just laughed, and he eventually moved out of her. They gathered their clothes and begrudgingly got back to work on packing up the house.

Kate's phone rang while she was in the garage gathering some things up. Jack rose to his feet and glanced at the screen- an unknown number. He figured he better answer it since Kate wasn't coming back inside.

"Hello?" he answered tentatively.

He crunched his face up in confusion; the voice asking for Kate certainly wasn't familiar.

"May I ask who's calling?" he asked politely, though he had a bad feeling.

He walked toward the garage and got her attention. "It's for you," he said softly, his eyes shifty.

"What's wrong?" she asked, taking the phone from him.

"You'd better take it."


	15. Fighting Blindly

**Thanks for your reviews last chapter :) Oh, and I really meant to update yesterday, but it was really late when I got home, and well, I was kind of drunk. Haha. (Tahti knows what I'm talking about!) I also want to mention that I have random new fic up called Happy Now? I wrote on impulse and that's what happened! You can find it in my profile, check it out and please be so kind and leave a review on your way out:)**

Chapter Fifteen: Fighting Blindly

Jack had exited the garage after handing Kate the phone- he figured she'd need the privacy. The woman on the phone had identified herself as 'Beth' but wouldn't elaborate. Though he was naturally curious, he realized that it was probably an important call. So there he was standing silently in the kitchen, accidentally on purpose hearing parts of her call.

"Why did you lie to me all this time?" he heard her shout. "I trusted you."

She was pacing now, he was almost certain. That's what she did when she was ticking, like her body was about to explode and she had to fight it out. Jack heard her take the few steps into the house while he quickly pretended to be packing a box in the kitchen.

"What was that about?" he asked kindly, lightly, before seeing her tear streaked face. He got up from the floor quickly. "What's wrong?" he asked her softly, holding the sides of her arms.

She shook her heard at him, like she didn't want to talk about it. "That was Beth. My aunt," she explained.

"Your mom's sister?" he hesitated, fearing what was coming next. On her nod, he asked, "And?"

Kate's mouth thinned into an angry line and her green orbs clouded once again. "And she lied to me, that's what. We're not close, I'll start with that," she said, walking over to the counter and leaning her thin frame against it.

He waited for her to make the next move- the last thing Kate needed was to be pushed into something she didn't want to speak of. He'd certainly learned that the hard way.

"She's been with my mom the entire time," she choked out. "Even when I called her when she first left- she lied. Even when I was scared, and the thing I needed most was someone- anyone really, she lied to me."

Jack shook his head. "Wait, they were staying together for the past five years?" He was beyond confused, partly because he knew practically nothing about Kate's family- the way she wanted it.

She shrugged. "Something like that. I didn't give her the chance to explain. But I know what I need to know. They've been together this entire time but no one thought I might give a fuck!" Kate said angrily.

Jack knew it probably wasn't the best thing to bring up, but he figured now that she was opening up to him it was a better time than ever. "There was no one else, no other family to call?" he questioned.

Once again she shook her head. "No, I never met any of my dad's family since he left when I was so young. Even if I did I don't remember them," she explained. "And my aunt Beth was the only family on my mom's side. No cousins, no grandparents," she said sadly.

He walked closer to her, enveloping her in his arms, but she pulled away. "Sorry," she said almost immediately. "I know you're only trying to help."

A moment later, "Did she just suddenly decide to tell you about your mom?" Jack asked, trying again to comfort her, wrapping his strong arms around her, and time she sunk into them.

"I guess," she mumbled against his warm chest. "She told me that my mom doesn't know she's telling me, but she thought I deserved to know." After this statement she let out a bark of sarcastic laughter. "Knowing that five years ago would've been a bit better."

He swayed back and forth slowly on his feet, the motion relaxing. Finally he asked, "What are you going to do?"

It seemed like there would be such a simple answer. She missed her mom, and she was mad, hurt, angry, sure, but she would go see her. What if she was rejected again? Beth had even told her that Diane had no idea she was contacting her, and perhaps it was because she never wanted to see her again?

"I have to go," she decided suddenly. "Or I'll never stop wondering, and I just can't take that any more. I can't keep living like I am- doubting everything in my life and desperately trying to protect myself," she paused. " Yeah, I have to go."

Jack was a bit surprised at her sudden decision- she'd certainly voiced her concerns previously and they were all extremely valid.

"Whoa, whoa," he started, cupping her face under her chin and trying to read her stare. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked her only because he wanted to protect her. He could understand easily why she wanted closure, but he was simply afraid for her- if her mother rejected her once again, how would she take it?

Kate nodded, still appearing to be unsure of herself, perhaps in a little bit of shock. "I'm not going right away," she explained. "I need some time to think about it. And I need you to do something for me Jack," she added slowly.

He nodded, smiling lightly at her. "Anything." The words escaped his mouth with ease and he realized it was true. Kate had a strange grip around him, around his heart. He concretely knew he was truly in love with this incredible woman, faults and all.

"I need you to promise me something." She saw his look of confusion immediately. "And… I know that I told you not to make promises, but I'm asking you this time." Her words were calculated and slow, apprehensive, as if Kate couldn't believe she was asking this of him.

"What is it?" he whispered.

"Promise me that you'll make me go see my mom." Jack sighed in response, twisting his head away from hers and staring seemingly at the kitchen cabinets. "Because I know myself, Jack, and a few days from now I'll probably change my mind," she rambled. "And I can't do that. So I'm asking you to do this for me, no matter how much I tell you I hate you for it, for making me do it."

She had a grasp on his biceps but he was fairly unresponsive to her, his head still turned away. "Jack?" she asked after a few moments, hoping to catch his attention.

"Yeah Kate, I'll do that for you," he said finally, turning towards her. His stare was intense, and it was making her feel on edge. "Only because I'd do anything for you at this point, and I know that you need this. You need to see your mom and get things figured out," he explained. Their current conversation was probably one of the most awkward ones they'd had since getting to know each other, so serious and with so many stipulations.

An unmistakable look of gratitude washed over her face and she wrapped her arms around his middle, feeling him tense a little but soon accepting her. "Why are our lives in shambles?" she had to ask. They stood in silence for a few moments, but both felt the laughter building up inside and had no choice but to let it out.

"I know I shouldn't be laughing or joking about any of this," he chuckled. "But I think we'd make a good soap opera," he pointed out.

"For sure," Kate agreed. "Lost girl whose mom abandons her only to return dramatically five years later. Guy with intense parents, father falls ill."

He stroked her hair. "Quite a summary," he remarked.

For two people with such stories to tell, they were awfully quiet, leaning against each other in the kitchen and simply enjoying the peace. Who knew how long it was going to last, before their worlds came crashing down on them?

"So I called up a few of my buddies from high school," he finally said. "I was hoping to see them while I'm here," he added lightly.

"Yeah?" Kate questioned. "I think you should."

He rubbed her back as they separated slightly. "I didn't want to bring it up," he began, "in case you didn't want to go."

"Well I'm honored that I'm included in the invite," she said lightly. "I'd love to meet them. Maybe they can give me some dirt," she almost teased, although with the news of that day it was difficult.

"Yeah, we were thinking of having dinner just to catch up, and then we're not sure afterwards," he explained.

"Let's promise ourselves something," she suggested. "Wow, I'm making a lot of promises today… what's gotten into me?" she smiled. It was almost a welcome thing- even if she got hurt from those promises; she was willing to trust someone again. She trusted Jack.

He grinned back at her. "I don't know, but I like it," he smirked, pecking her on the lips.

"We have to promise ourselves, and each other, really, that we'll still have fun. Even with all of this shit going on we can't forget about living our own lives too," she finished.

"You're perfect," Jack stated, insisting she was in his eyes in response to her eye roll.

The pair moved on to the sitting room, Jack holding the list and reading off items since, being a typical male, he had no idea what half of the fancy things on the list were.

"Bottle-necked vase in cobalt blue. What the hell?" he muttered, reading the description. Kate found it easily and smiled at him as she packed it into the box.

"Didn't it seem weird when you called your aunt after your mom left and she didn't ask you to stay with her or anything?" he asked her randomly. It was something that was churning in the back of his mind since Kate had revealed who Beth was.

She looked up at him strangely, but then shook her head. "Nah. Beth is a loose canon," she admitted. "I couldn't even count on her for a Birthday card, let alone a place to live."

"Ahh. One of those aunts," he said knowingly. "I have one of those too," he explained. "My mom likes to pretend she doesn't exist," he had to laugh. "Marcy's always been the black sheep of the family."

"I guess it makes more sense now. I mean the fact that my mom was staying with her, or whatever happened… there was no way in hell she could offer me anything other than a check."

Jack agreed, and his cell phone rang. He saw it was his friend from high school, Drew.

"Hey man, what's up? He answered, and looked over to Kate when he heard her giggling. She couldn't help it really, she loved the way guys talked on the phone to each other- so vastly different from the way women did. Straight, to the point, complete with grunts and cliché sayings.

"Who was that?" she asked after he'd hung up.

"My friend Drew. I guess a bunch of my friends from high school are getting together. We're going to have dinner at my friend Corey's place. That okay?"

"Sure, I guess. I'll probably feel strangely female though…" she guessed. She was comfortable around guys, but perhaps not a large group of strangers she had to try and impress.

He walked over to her, taking her hands in his. "It will be fine. They're nice guys," he pleaded with her. "Plus, they'll love you."

Kate smiled at his words and they eventually got ready. Corey's house turned out to be only a few blocks away, so they walked in the warm night.

"Are you sure this guy can cook?" she asked along the way. It was fair enough question, really.

"He went to culinary school," he explained. They soon strode up to a large house, Kate still not used to the imposing structures that everyone seemed to have own LA. She often wondered how Jack was so grounded, with all of the privilege he'd grown up with.

"This is his house?" she asked, impressed. "What is he, 21, 22?"

Jack smirked. "Trust fund."

An average height man with short dirty blond hair and sharp features, who she could only assume to be Corey, greeted them at the door. Kate could tell they were truly happy to see each other and smiled as Jack introduced them.

"She's a looker Jack," he winked at her, although she wasn't sure to be offended or take it as a compliment. Jack seemed to think it was a joke and laughed along with him, agreeing.

There were six other guys gathered in the living room, all of whom immediately rose from their seats when Jack walked in. Kate was introduced to everyone, and although it was a little awkward, she appreciated the care Jack was going through to make sure she met his friends. She watched happily as his eyes lit up and he laughed. She wasn't sure how much they knew- but she suspected not much, not about his dad's cancer and their extreme circumstances.

They sat down and Kate managed to impress all of the guys with her video game skills, beating 3 of the men before finally losing. She sat back down next to Jack, who slung an arm around her waist and pulled her tight. Dinner was surprisingly good, but the subject of Jack's father was brought up, and he was faced, for the first time really, of having to explain the situation to anyone but Kate. She noticed how his face tensed up, and awkward words of apology circled around the table.

To be honest, Kate didn't like several of Jack's friends. They came off as cocky, arrogant and indifferent towards practically everything. However, they all seemed to treat Jack like a God, like he was their unspoken leader. He'd gotten more and more outgoing as the night wore on, like he was turning back time and shrinking back into an immature, obnoxious high schooler. She could chalk some of it up the company, but she was starting to get irritated at his behavior.

Corey approached her in the kitchen, smiling at her. "Not having any fun?" he asked nicely.

"I've just never seen Jack like this," she explained, uncomfortable. The walls of the kitchen hid them from the sights of the others in the living room.

"Jack's a great guy, Kate."

"I know. It might sound selfish, but he's been ignoring me practically the whole night. I know he hasn't seen all of you in awhile, but he's kind of hanging me out to dry," she explained. She knew that the edgy terms of the whole day was contributing to her attitude, but she genuinely felt discluded and awkward, even as she tried to be friendly and talkative with the others.

He nodded in understanding, holding his beer in his left hand, his right poised high on the wall so he was leaning towards her. "I would never ignore you," he winked, taking a step closer. She was practically cornered now- she was stuck where the counter and wall met, his body in front of her. Kate made a move to walk out of the kitchen, but he grabbed her arm.

"Where are you going?" he asked her, seemingly unaware of her comfort level. He pressed himself up to her, pinning her against the wall. She shoved him hard and walked quickly out of the kitchen.

She stopped in front of Jack, waiting for him to finally notice her. "I'm leaving," she told him sharply. She was already out the front door by the time Jack caught up with her.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his eyes scrunched in confusion.

"Back to the house," she didn't elaborate. He walked with her, trying to figure out what had happened.

"Thanks for ignoring me the whole night, by the way," she bit out sarcastically.

He threw his hands up in the air at the suggestion. "Sorry I didn't cater to Princess Kate tonight," he bit back.

She stopped in the middle of the street, whipping her body around to face his. "No, that's not it at all actually. You turned into this jerk of a guy when you were around them. Like you were soaking up their worshiping. You turned into the kind of guy that I hate," she explained, perhaps a little harshly.

"I was only hanging out with my friends," he tried to defend himself.

She paused for awhile, trying to get a grip on the situation. "Yeah, and while you were doing that, your 'friend' Corey was pushing me up against a wall in the kitchen," she practically yelled. "He was trying to force himself on me Jack!"

He nodded his head. "No, no I'm sure it was a misunderstanding. Corey wouldn't do that."

"See! That's what I mean. Now you don't even believe me? It's kind of hard to 'misunderstand' that Jack," she replied, mocking his words.

"God," he finally said, understanding the entire situation. "See? I told you that I change when I come back here. And not just from one night with the guys- I can get over that. I told you I was a much different person when I lived here," he explained, his head in his hands.

Kate turned on her heel and continued walking. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I know I was a jerk. That's why I had to leave this place," Jack motioned largely with his hands. "It sucks you into this attitude, this way of living that I _hate._"

She said nothing, but they continued walking home, silently going to bed, facing away from each other. Kate was learning more and more about this kind of life every day. Maybe, in one way or another, she should be more grateful for how she was brought up.

**So how's that for a little angst?**

**Review? Yeah? That's what I thought :)**


	16. Let's Pretend

**Sorry for the long wait- I'm crazy busy and running on fumes! Please leave a review, they help me out bunches!**

Chapter Sixteen- Let's Pretend

When Kate awoke the next morning after a night of tossing and turning, she felt the empty space in the bed next to her. Jack wasn't there, and hadn't been for a while judging by the coldness of the sheets on her fingertips. She should've expected it really, she knew Jack well enough by now to realize he didn't sleep well when he was stressed or worried about something. She got out of bed slowly, her limbs feeling a bit stiff from all of the lifting she and Jack had done over the past few days. The wood floor felt like ice as her feet hit it, and she padded quickly down the hallway and downstairs.

He was in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, leaning over the center isle and looking out the large window in front of him. She tried to make herself known but he didn't seem to notice.

"Hey," she said softly. It was clear she was still angry at him, and he was unsure of how to act around her.

"Morning," he tried. "Did you sleep well?"

"No," Kate said with her back to him.

He got a mug for her and poured her some coffee. "Was it the bed?" he asked, hoping, praying that it was the reason and not him.

She paused. "You know why."

Kate took her steaming mug and exited the kitchen, walking slowly up the stairs with it as not to spill. Jack sighed when she left. He wanted to give her space, but he wanted to fix their problem. What she saw last night was practically the whole reason he'd wanted to get out of California in the first place. It made him feel so vulnerable, so susceptible to change, changes that he didn't want. He wouldn't say he was egotistical in high school, but he certainly wasn't the modest person he'd managed to turn himself into while in college. Jack had always had an air of confidence around him- he'd simply grown up that way, letting it in. He still possessed that, doubted it would ever leave him, but was now careful not to let it take over him.

Giving her a few moments, he followed her trail up the steps, taking the familiar route to his bedroom. The door was cracked open and he saw she was pulling a shirt over her head, already wearing a pair of clean jeans.

"What do you want?" she asked icily, her back turned to him, feeling his presence.

He entered the room hesitantly. "I just wanted to maybe… talk about last night."

"I think you've said enough Jack," Kate told him, turning around now. There was more than just physical distance between them at this point- it felt as if a mountain separated them emotionally.

"I know I was an asshole Kate, but at least give me a chance to explain myself," he tried, walking closer to her only to have her close him off.

She was ignoring him, rustling through her suitcase, digging through clothes.

"I told you that I change when I come here," he said. "And that doesn't excuse anything I did, but it's true. That's why I hate coming back here Kate. I feel like I just spiral out of control."

"Maybe you should learn some self control," she bit back a sarcastically.

He laced his hands together, fumbling with his fingers. "And I'm sorry that I pretty much took Corey's side last night. I know that you'd never make anything like that up. I should always take your word over anyone else's."

Silence permeated the room, and Jack wasn't even sure that Kate was listening to him anymore. She continued to rummage through the suitcase, the once neat piles morphing into heaps of now wrinkled clothing.

"Kate what else do you want me to say?" he asked her, throwing his hands up in the air. "That's about it, unless you want me repeating it over and over, but something tells me that won't go over well with you."

"I've told you I'm sorry so many times and I really mean it. But I can't change what I did, how I acted, okay? I was a jerk and I'm admitting it, and I'm trying to make this better…" he trailed off.

She finally stood up and turned around to face him, her eyes meeting his for the first time since the night before. He could practically see the thoughts churning in her head, her teeth biting her lower lip. While her stare was still cold and hard, at least he'd made some progress.

"Go take care of things with Corey," she told him, her eyes quickly shifting away from his.

Kate caught onto his perplexed look. "You get him to come over here and apologize to me," she paused. "We'll start there."

She practically melted at his relieved look, but tensed when he tried to come over and pull her into a hug.

"Jack…" she warned him.

"Okay, okay," he replied, backing off. He was planning on going to Corey's now, Kate could see. He'd do just about anything to get back on her good side at this point. He'd do what he needed to do, what he deserved to be put through.

"And Jack?" He turned back with a glance, stopping in his tracks.

"Don't hurt him too bad?"

All he could offer her was a half smile. He could certainly make no promises, but Kate had definitely caught onto part of his plan. There was no way he could let Corey, let himself get away with their treatment of Kate. Jack hadn't stopped berating himself since the night before, and now that he thought about it he realized subconsciously he had been aware of his treatment of Kate, and that only made him feel worse about it. But perhaps what bothered him most was how he fell back into the same ways _every_ time he came back. In so many ways, he controlled his life by the book, planned it all out, but visiting home seemed to bring up past demons.

The thought of control immediately brought Jack back to his father. The defeating news of Christian's tumor not responding to the previous treatments certainly put a burden on him. He had no control over his father's destiny- the most he could do was support him, be there for him, and share his pain. But when it came time for the ultimate decision- life or death? There was nothing he could do about that.

He and Kate had a flight back to New York that night. For selfish reasons Jack wanted to have the air cleared between them by the time they were on the plane- surely an awkwardly silent cross country flight would be no fun if Kate was still pissed at him. Lost in his thoughts, Jack suddenly became aware that he was standing in front of Corey's house, almost as if his body had directed him there on autopilot.

Honestly he didn't know what he was going to say or do to Corey. He was pretty sure at least part of it would involve a physical confrontation- not that Jack was a particularly violent man, but some things couldn't pass over him without consequences. After he rang the doorbell Corey opened the door after a few minutes, stepping back almost immediately in fear of Jack.

So Jack did what his body told him, what his mind told him at the same time- he swung his right arm out, his fist coming in contact with Corey's cheek. The blond man's head fell to the side, the blow of the punch surprising him. Jack stopped it at that, noting that he felt much better. The contact left a cut on Corey's cheek, blood already starting to run down the area. He held his palm up to the rapidly swelling cheek, holding his other hand up to stop Jack.

"Okay. I deserved that," he said slowly, his jaw aching, making speaking uncomfortable.

"Why the hell would you do that to Kate?" Jack bit out. "To me?"

"I was drunk, man," the shorter man tried. "I didn't mean it. I know she's your girl."

Jack's hands found their way to rest on his hips, showing his dissatisfaction. "Being drunk is no excuse," Jack snapped. "You know how many times I heard that growing up?" he revealed. All of his friends knew about Christian's drinking problem throughout Jack's childhood. Luckily by the time he'd reached his late teens it had been under control, but the subject was still touchy.

"I'm sorry. I really am," Corey said almost morosely. Jack could tell he was sincere, after all, what kind of explanation could Corey really offer? "I guess Kate just reminded me of Kristy," he tried, referring to his ex girlfriend who had broken his heart. "She's great," he continued. "You better hang onto her."

Jack wasn't sure when or quite how the conversation had turned from blame to advice. "I'm not who you need to be apologizing to," he pointed out. "Kate's at the house. I expect you have a few things you'd like to say to her?" he asked a bit harshly.

Corey nodded and locked the house behind him. The two young men made an awkward stroll back to Jack's house, the shuffling of feet hitting the pavement the only sounds along the way. Kate was sitting outside on the front porch, but shot up off the bench immediately when she saw them approaching. Jack was certainly back faster than she'd expected, but she quickly took in the purple, swelling patch on Corey's face, dried blood along the edge.

Kate knew that Corey was drunk when he'd pressed her up against the kitchen wall- she'd smelled the alcohol on his breath and had seen him drinking the whole evening, but that was no excuse for his actions, no excuse for Jack having friends like acted in such a way. She could appreciate, however, that Jack still appeared livid with Corey, still talked to him roughly. It was the first time she'd seen such a raw side of Jack, and she wasn't sure if she was supposed to find it so intriguing.

"Uhh, listen Kate, I know that this probably won't make anything any better, but I really want to say I'm so sorry for last night. For how I treated you." He stood apprehensively with his hands in his pockets, shifting on his unsure feet.

"No one deserves that," he added. Her hand reached up to his face and she slapped him across the same area Jack had punched. He winced in visible pain as the wound bled again.

"Leave," she told him, and he did just that, silently walking away.

Jack stood in the driveway, unsure of what to say- what do you say to that scene?

"Come on, we have work to do," she told him promptly.

Was the fight over? He had a certain feeling it was, although things between them would certainly be standoffish for awhile. They had only a few rooms left to pack up, and Jack was extremely thankful for it. The sooner he could get out of this place, the better.

"I know you're sorry," she said after a bit of them working in silence, sitting cross legged on the floor and wrapping some glass items in tissue.

He wasn't sure how to reply, so he said nothing, but glanced up and gave an appreciative glance.

"I can see how you could change here," she observed, motioning to the grandness around here. How big, how great could everything be before it would self destruct? How much futility could a person take before they were given a dose of humility, a dose of reality?

Jack nodded. "Yeah. I can't wait to get back to the city."

"Jack?"

He looked up. "Hmm?"

"Don't be that guy again, okay? I don't like that guy. I like you. This guy," she told him, putting her hands on his shoulders. He closed his eyes, thankful that overall, Kate was being very understanding and forgiving. He didn't deserve it, that much he was sure of.

Jack shook his head. "I won't," he told her. "Because I love you too much to let that happen again. It shouldn't have happened in the first place-"

"Jack, just stop. We both have too much on our plate to keep worrying about this. I'm not forgetting about what happened, but there are much more important things we need to focus on now. Like your dad," she said a bit sadly.

"Okay," he croaked out, and she could see that he was trying to keep his emotions in check. His head remained ducked down as he sat on his knees.

"I'm going to call my mom," he said after a bit. "I'll be right back."

Kate watched him leave, almost feeling her heart breaking for him. Their fight, in addition to the news about his father seemed to have broken his spirit. The old Kate, she told herself, wouldn't have forgiven Jack so easily. In fact, she probably would've written him off then, pushed him out of her life one way or another. But he seemed different, perhaps defeated. But really, who could blame him? She was surprised that she truly forgave Jack for what happened- she wasn't okay with it, and had certainly laid down the law for him, but she could see that he was too broken to put up more of a fight than he did.

"Yeah, our flight is at 5:00 tonight. We'll get in kind of late. I'll stop by tomorrow morning though, okay?" she heard him say in a hollow voice.

"Love you," he said, and she was a bit taken aback. She'd known Jack loved his mother, but the pair didn't strike her as the endearing type. Perhaps these circumstances rewrote family history- they certainly held the right to.

He held the cell phone limply at his waist, and she walked over to him, a little intimidated.

"Anything different?" she asked in a small voice.

"Nope," he answered her absent mindedly.

There was still a barrier between them- it was apparent both of them could feel it. Ignoring her stubbornness for once, Kate tentatively wrapped her arms around Jack's warm body, feeling him relax into her. She let out a sigh of relief, and surely he did too. His arms soon connected around her and he rested his head on top of hers.

"Let's go home," he breathed.


	17. Forgiven

Chapter Seventeen: Forgiven

Margo watched them from inside the kitchen of her and Christian's rental home in New York. Things had been seriously strained during Thanksgiving dinner, even by Margo's standards. She'd made it plenty clear that she wasn't welcoming Kate into the family with open arms, but Kate hadn't responded to it- Christian's sweetness towards her more than made up for it. Her son and Kate had been fighting, that much she could tell by the way they almost tiptoed around each other, how they were strangely silent during their time together.

They'd been home from California for a few days now, and all of the possessions they'd packed up were now cross country in New York, the familiarity of them seeming to ease Margo a bit. Still, Christian was no better, but they were thankful for the time they had together at Thanksgiving. Jack's father was certainly taking the news of his ailment better than his wife- there was a definite air of calmness around him, something none of his family could understand. Now Margo stood at the kitchen window, frosted from the cold air outside, almost preventing vision. Jack and Kate were standing on a side deck in a place where they thought they couldn't be seen or heard. Margo couldn't help but watch them; both bundled up in the cold air, as they had what looked like a heated discussion.

While she wouldn't- couldn't admit to liking Kate, she could realize what Jack saw in her. It was hard watching her son's affections shift completely to another woman, to a woman she could easily see Jack ending up with. Perhaps it was why she had such a hard time accepting Kate, because she felt from the start that she'd be her replacement as the most important woman in her son's life. Although they'd never been particularly close, it had been a hard emotion to swallow, so she hadn't. She'd put up the fight, put up a wall towards Kate and was content with not letting her through.

"What are you doing?" Christian asked her abruptly, standing by her at the window. "You're spying on them?" he questioned when he saw the two figures outside, but there was a little bit of amusement in his voice.

"I think they're fighting," she said after a bit. "Didn't it seem like that?"

His weary eyes gazed back at hers. "Yeah I suppose they were a little bit off." He paused. "They'll figure it out."

Margo smirked when Christian remained at her side- apparently he couldn't stop watching them either. The two saw Kate lean into Jack, a smile breaking open on his face at the action. It was easy to see that whatever was weighing them down had passed, as Kate smushed his cheeks with her palms, busting into laughter at the sight. His arms circled around her waist, larger from the puffy coat she was wearing.

Jack's laughter was cut short when Kate kissed him. It wasn't the peck he'd been getting over the past few days, as almost a formality rather than a want. Her lips grazed his, both sets cold from the chilly air around them, soft and sweet. Her tongue eventually prodded against his mouth and she felt him smile against her, opening his mouth to hers. The warm velvety flesh mending together was a striking contract from the outside air they'd just experienced. Jack felt himself becoming physically breathless from their kisses and pulled away gradually with nibbling kisses on the corners of her mouth.

"You know my parents are watching us from the window?" he whispered to her. "Don't look," he warned, knowing that she would.

Kate's mouth dropped open. "For how long?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I just noticed when I glanced over there."

"So they saw us fighting."

Jack nodded. "And making out," he teased as she shoved him playfully.

Kate burrowed into his chest. "You want to go back inside? It's freezing out here." Her teeth practically chattered with the effort of speech.

Back inside, Christian and Margo moved away from the window when they saw the pair move back inside, not wanting to look suspicious. "Told you they'd work it out," he muttered to her.

"How ya feeling dad?" Jack asked him, unzipping his coat and helping Kate shrug out of hers.

The older man glanced warily towards his son. "You know, the same as I did a half hour ago when you asked me." He rolled his eyes, but secretly was touched at how much concern Jack had shown him since he'd found out.

Jack ignored his father's brush off. "Did mom tell you I'm taking you to your appointment tomorrow?"

"Yep." Christian shuffled back towards the living room, which was now adorned with many of the decorations Jack had grown up with, a coffee in hand.

When Jack had returned from California, he'd forced his father to sit down with him and have a truthful conversation. It was hard getting the actual facts out of Christian, even as a doctor it seemed he had a hard time grasping his own condition. However, Jack suspected part of it was because he didn't want to, didn't want to admit the disease that was flowing through his body. He'd eventually gotten the information that the cancer had spread from the eye to the lymph nodes. His doctors were still trying to assess what type of treatment would work best on the two cancers, and he was to receive it starting tomorrow. Jack found that while the news was bad, it wasn't as horrible as he was expecting. Christian was still in rather good spirits, and his chances over overcoming the cancers were fairly good if it didn't spread to other areas.

But still, the illness took a toll on the whole family, and on those who knew Christian as a strapping, confident, assertive man. Jack had noticed immediately the change in his father from his surprise visit to his house back in early fall; when he had been understanding, calm, very kind; and not that his father wasn't capable of those traits before, but never to so much of a degree. He rather enjoyed the change in his dad, but he wasn't selfish enough to trade his father's personality for his health and wellbeing.

Jack glanced around looking for Kate, and found her in the kitchen helping his mother clean up from their big meal. They were silent as they worked, but Jack felt his heart swell from the fact that he'd found such an incredible person in Kate. The fact that Margo treated her with nothing but disdain, yet she was going out of her way to help her out said a lot about her caring nature.

"Hey," he said softly to Kate, holding her by the waist from behind. "You ready to go?" It was nearing on 10pm by now and Jack knew the both of them had quite a bit of catching up to do with their schoolwork after being away for so long.

"Okay, so I think we're gonna head out now mom." He glared at her and she seemed to recognize his stare.

"Thank you for helping me Kate," she said curtly, politely.

Kate nodded in graciousness. "Thank you so much for having me over." She smiled warmly and Jack could tell she meant it, even if Margo wasn't exactly opening her arms to her. Although they hadn't talked about it, Jack got the feeling that she hadn't really celebrated holidays much since her mom left. Knowing Kate, she would justify holidays as 'just another day.'

"I'll see you in the morning dad," he called out to Christian. He went to put his arm around Kate, but felt she was no longer beside him. He spotted her kissing his father on the cheek in the living room where he was seated in a smooth navy blue recliner.

"I'll check in with you soon, okay?" Jack heard her say.

"You're so great with him," he said when they got out to the car.

She smiled. "Your dad's a great guy," she offered.

"Yeah, I know. I just wish I could be like that with him."

They drove home mostly in silence, letting their thoughts brew through their minds. Jack couldn't stop thinking about tomorrow morning and what his father's new treatment would bring, how big of turning point it could be. Kate's thoughts mulled once again over the new revelation that her mother was back. After being without her for so long, she couldn't imagine her having a place in her life ever again. But the bigger force was whether she even wanted to see Kate or not.

"Wanna stay over tonight?" Jack asked her when they got closer to their dwellings. He hadn't even bothered asking the few nights before since he knew they were still a little bit shaky. They'd had no one else to lean on during dinner except each other, so they'd chosen to get over their awkwardness for their own sakes.

"Uhh, yeah, can we just swing by my apartment so I can pick up a few books? I have a paper I need to finish writing," she replied nonchalantly.

When they returned to Jack's house they both spread their numerous books and papers over his bed, taking up most of the expanse. Jack sighed when he saw how much work he had before him. Everything with his father, and unfortunately with Kate had shifted his priorities, although one could hardly blame him. They were consumed in their work until Kate kept glancing over at Jack, watching his brow furrow as he continued his work. It was fascinating to watch him study a problem, to mull over the possibilities in his mind and finally scribble an answer, a thought down on the paper.

He didn't notice her weight shifting the balance of the mattress until her warm lips had found his neck, sucking there lightly. Jack smirked and pulled her into his lap, allowing her to continue her light attack on his neck. He finally pulled her chin up towards his, maintaining severe eye contact before shifting his lips onto hers, sucking lightly on her full bottom lip and flicking over it with his soft tongue. She opened her mouth against his and they fell into a rhythm of sighs and caresses, their hands soon starting to mimic the actions of their mouths. Kate quickly found the collar of his dress shirt as she traced her hands delicately around his neck. Her fingers danced over his tie, loosening it considerably from his neck and pulling it over his head. Jack caught her off guard and held his hands over hers, sliding the tie over her head and onto her neck.

"Looks better on you," he said gruffly, his voice deep.

She smiled with a glint in her green eyes, unbuttoning his stark white shirt slowly, teasing him. She finally reached the bottom and helped him shrug out of it, allowing her eyes to appreciate his bare chest and abdomen. Kate's shirt came off next as Jack worked the buttons easily, leaving Kate in her deep red bra.

"Is that new?" he breathed, moving his lips to her neck. She nodded against him. "I like it," he told her appreciatively, cupping her covered breasts with his large hands and working over them.

She kissed him deeply again and sighed when he responded to her fully, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants in a swift motion. Jack moaned into her mouth when she ran a hand over his boxers, feeling him start to harden at the touch. Eventually she reached her hand through and stroked him fully from root to tip, eliciting a deep groan from the depths of him. Soon Jack returned the favor, unzipping her skirt in the back and pulling it half heartedly down her legs until he could access her.

He attached his mouth to hers again as his fingers delved hesitantly into her folds, encouraged by the wetness that seemed to be flooding from the recesses. She grinded against his lap and pushed herself down onto his fingers when they entered her, resting her head against his neck and breathing steadily as his thumb rubbed over her sensitive bud. Kate suddenly felt him lay back on the bed and she moved to straddle his waist, but soon his hands were pulling her hips forward… up his body. His eyes locked with hers mischievously as he urged her forward until she was kneeling on either side of his face. Kate closed her eyes tightly in preparation and gripped the headboard in front of her, flinching when she felt his tongue flick out against her. Jack hooked his arms around her legs to pause her movements, moving his mouth and tongue fully over her.

Kate's hands moved to her breasts when he suckled her clit in his mouth and flicked his tongue over it until he felt her tensing. A finger delved into her from behind and she tremored around it, his tongue and warm, wet mouth continuing to suck on her until she had to pull away. She fell onto her back, her head daring to hang off the edge of the bed. His weight settled on top of her and his scruff attacked her neck. Kate held onto the back of his head and felt his tip against her heat. Despite her sensitivity she arched her hips into him, encouraging him to enter her.

"That was amazing," she told him breathily, unashamed of her now pinked cheeks and red lips.

Jack huffed into her neck when he entered her, his shaft sliding into her smoothly and fully. She moved against him amongst the now crinkled papers and books, making their affair quite noisy. She looped her legs around his and lay back, enjoying the sensations that were running through her, the sensations that Jack was causing to run through her. She could tell he was trying to make the pleasure all about her, perhaps because he was still feeling guilty about how he'd treated Kate in California. And for once in her life, Kate allowed herself to be pampered, allowed herself to be loved, but better yet, allowed herself to love.

She let out a low moan as she felt herself shudder again, Jack's length pumping into her forcefully. The force of her walls tightening around him eventually caused Jack to go over the edge, dropping his weight onto her when they were finished.

"Apology accepted," Kate laughed into his ear.

"Maybe we should fight more often."

Together they cleared off the bed so they could sleep, although they hadn't gotten much accomplished. "You should get some sleep since you have to take your dad in the morning," she said tenderly, stroking the side of his face with her soft hands.

"I love you," Jack told her with a smile on his face. "I can't imagine getting through this without you."

The heartwarming sentiment melted her as she grinned almost goofily at him. "And I don't know what I would've done without you around when I found out about my mom," she said in a more serious tone. "I love you too," she whispered.

His face relaxed and she watched him fall into sleep. Kate had enough on her mind without Jack's problems, but right now she couldn't think about anything but him and what Christian was going through. Was it possible to feel worry in your heart? She hoped, prayed that tomorrow brought good news- that for once something good would happen.

**Maybe a little bit fluffy but I thought the story needed a little bit of a pick me up. Leave a review on your way out and let me know what you think!**


	18. Flirting With Time

**Sorry for the long wait and many thanks for your lovely reviews! Please note that I've moved ahead in the story just over a month from the last chapter. Also, I've deleted an author's note from several chapters back that I posted as a chapter, so it won't let th****e people who reviewed chapter 18****review**** this one (I think that's what's happening, anyway!). But all you have to do is log out and review anonymously, only please let me know it's you! **

Flirting With Time

Good news wasn't in abundance these days, at least not for Christian Shephard. He sat in the uncomfortable chair he had his treatments in. _They could at least give me something good to sit in for going through this hell, _he thought to himself sarcastically. He looked down at the IV attached to his paling, more fragile arm, and then to the poison being sent directly into his veins. Christian was now receiving chemotherapy in addition to his radiation treatments since the cancer not only affected his eye but his lymph nodes. There seemed to be nothing else to do, nothing but negative thoughts running through his mind, so instead he watched dully as the fluids dripped from the bag above him and down into the IV tubing. He could follow it right into his arm, but that's where he lost it. That was when he lost control, when he had no idea how or where it manipulated his body.

Kate walked into the exam room just outside his treatment center, where he could see her through the glass of the door. She looked worried, speaking with his doctor, and he could hardly blame her. He could tell, deep down inside, that he certainly wasn't getting any better, and he'd been on the chemotherapy now for almost five weeks. She'd started bringing him to his appointments lately, and Jack and Margo seemed to be caught up in other things. But in all honesty, although he should've been upset with his son and wife, he knew why they were backing away. Because when he was gone, it would be that much harder on them.

His nurse walked in when the IV bag was almost empty, and pulled the IV out of his arm, covering it with a bandage. She tried to smile comfortingly at him, but Christian didn't buy it anymore. After all, he knew that smile. He'd done it to countless patients when he could think of nothing more to do, because there was nothing good to tell them.

"How ya feeling?" his son's girlfriend asked him warmly, taking his arm in hers when he exited the room shakily.

"I've been better," he tried smiling at her, but found he couldn't even muster up a grin for Kate.

Christian was content to sit in the car in silence, waiting for Kate to drive him back to he and Margo's place. Eventually he noticed her making different turns than the usual route home.

"Where're we going?"

Kate was silent for a moment, her hands gripping the steering wheel and her eyes on the road. Eventually her green eyes met his blue and she smiled almost shyly at him. She pulled up to a curb, parking quickly and shutting off the car.

"You need some fresh air," she told him, running around to the other side of the car to help the tall man out.

Stubbornly he stayed in his seat, not even undoing his seatbelt. He eventually rolled the window down when she leaned against the car.

"What's wrong?" Her eyes scrunched at him and he tried not to look into them. He knew she meant well but that didn't stop him from rejecting the offer.

"I just want to go home." He paused, looking anywhere but at her. "I'm tired."

Kate stood up straight, her hands finding their way to her slim hips which were adorned in dark jeans. "You're always tired," she retorted, and he couldn't help but laugh.

Somehow Kate's comment changed his mood, if only for the fact that she wasn't pitying him mercilessly like everyone else in his life. The frail man stood slowly from the car, staring out into the expanse of Central Park, the greenest place in the city. They walked for a bit until they were far away from the loudness of the city streets, sitting on a bench together.

"So, how are you and Jack?" There weren't many things he was interested in anymore, but there was something about his son and Kate that intrigued him.

She shrugged. "We're good," Kate told him absentmindedly.

"You sure?" He was tempted to laugh by her less that enthusiastic reaction.

Kate twisted her hands in her lap, her back hunched over a bit. "No, I didn't mean we're not. We really are good." She smiled at him, and he could tell it was true. "You have a great son and I really love him…" she trailed off, not only a bit embarrassed that she admitted so much to Christian, but also because she wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what she was about to say.

He waited for her continue, but sensed she wasn't going to without encouragement. "But?" he helped her out.

Kate waited awhile, and then it finally shot out of her mouth. "Don't you think he's pulling away? From you I mean."

Christian nodded at her. "He is. Margo too," he said sadly.

"They're afraid of losing you," she whispered softly.

"I know." He finally looked back up at her, seeing the tears forming in her eyes. Her warm hand reached for his and he took it clumsily, and right then he wished he hadn't taken such a liking to Kate, that he hadn't welcomed her into the family so much.

"I'm afraid of losing you too," Kate admitted to him, mustering the courage to meet his eyes.

"I know," was all he could say once again.

The two sat in silence, and even though the air was cold and the wind brushed over them, it felt good not to be confined to the indoors. The holiday decorations were plastered all over the park, wreaths and lights adorning the lamp posts. It looked like such a happy place to be.

"Kate?" he said finally.

"Hmm?" She turned towards him, tucking one leg under the other to keep warm.

Christian hesitated. This was harder to say than he thought. "Promise to take care of Jack. You know, in case-"

"Don't talk like that," she interrupted him. "Don't stop believing that you'll get better." He got the feeling she was saying it to herself more than him.

He shook his head, his thinning salt and pepper hair blowing in the gusts of cold wind. "Yeah, I know. You're right. But what _if_ Kate? I have to say what I'm thinking. Or I might not ever get the chance to."

She glanced at him, the fear and hurt apparent in her watery eyes, in which he could practically see his reflection.

"Promise me?"

Finally she nodded. "Yeah. I promise," she choked out. She couldn't dismiss the fact that she'd just made a promise, and such a big one at that. But, she thought, there were times in life when you had to get over your stubbornness and whatever hurt you in the past. Making a promise for Christian was worth whatever flack she wanted to give herself.

"You're good for him." He smiled at her, and Kate was sure it was meant to be comforting, meant to make her feel better, but she only felt her eyes water more, the buildup threatening to splash down her cheeks.

Kate looked down at her lap and shook her head. "No," she disagreed. "He's good for me." She meant it. All along she'd honestly believed that Jack was doing more good for her than she was for him.

Christian smiled wryly at her and stood up slowly, offering his hand to her. Kate took it, brushing away the tears on her cheeks with the other.

"Enough with this depressing talk," he tried to joke, his face crinkling up in the effort. He stopped midway through their walk back to the car, turning his back to her so he could throw up without her seeing.

He stood with his hands on his knees, breathing heavily and trying to ride out the wave of nausea flowing through him. It was extremely demoralizing having no control over his body, but soon Kate was by his side, rubbing her hand over his back in comfort.

"Better now?" she asked sweetly after he'd stood back up.

Christian nodded. "Yeah, thanks. That's been happening more and more often."

"Let's get you home, how about it?"

Kate drove him back to their rental place, where they'd now been living for about two months. Every time she went over, mostly with Jack, she noticed more and more it becoming a home for the two. There were more personal touches and it began to be a warmer environment, even for Kate.

Jack called her on her way home. She picked up, sighing into the phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Sorry, traffic is really bad," she lied. Her conversation with Christian- she was still mulling it over in her mind and debating on whether or not to tell Jack about it. About how his father had lost hope. How she'd almost lost hope by now. Part of her thought she was being dramatic, that perhaps the chemotherapy was working. But another, in a deep pit inside her stomach, told her something different. It told her that was looking at a man in his final times.

"How'd it go?"

"Just like always," she responded. "Nothing different."

There was silence over the line. "I'll talk to you at home, okay?" she told him, turning a corner.

"Home?" he questioned. Good thing he couldn't see her face flush through the phone, she thought.

"I just- I just mean, you know, your place. I mean, I'm there all the time and I've just kind of started, uhh, started to think of-"

"It can be home if you want it to be," he interrupted her.

Kate cut off her rambling prematurely, thankful for the fact that she now was stopped at a red light, or otherwise she might have driven off the road.

"Jack. Are you serious?"

He laughed, although it sounded more like a nervous laugh to her. They'd both just blurted out things they now wished they hadn't.

"Oh, you know. Only if you want me to be," he tried, splitting the difference.

"You know we're not ready for that, don't you?" she said after a bit. Thankfully he laughed.

"Yeah you're right. We're both a bit crazy at the moment, huh?"

"Are you at the house?"

It sounded as if he was walking and she could hear the traffic around him through the phone line. "No, I'm walking home from class. Just about there though. Wanna meet me here?"

They agreed to meet at his house and hung up. The streets really were busy and Kate cursed in frustration as cars whizzed by her and the car behind her almost slammed into her before she turned onto Jack's street.

She pulled in just as Jack was pushing open the door. He noticed her and waited, enveloping her in a hug when she approached. Kate took it thankfully, gratefully, and sunk into his chest. She gave him a peck on the lips and couldn't help but chuckle when his stubble tickled her cheek. She took notice of how he'd let it get longer and how much it aged his face.

"Okay, so it's been a few days," he admitted with a small smile, knowing what she was thinking. "How's my dad?"

"Maybe you should ask him yourself."

He looked defensive. "What's that supposed to mean?" His brow furrowed.

They walked into his house, taking their bags to his room. Kate stretched out on his bed, but he stood before her waiting for reply.

"Jack you haven't exactly been there for him lately," she pointed out.

His shoulders relaxed and sunk down as he admitted his negligence. "Yeah, I know. Thanks for taking him today."

"I'm happy to do it." He leaned over her and kissed her briefly.

"I'll give him a call tonight and maybe visit him tomorrow." He lay down beside her and she turned so she was pressed against his side. His arm wrapped around her and she breathed him in.

"Good."

Kate lay there with Jack, staring at the ceiling, imagining patterns that she could never seem to pick out again, no matter how hard she looked. She'd been doing it ever since she was a child when she needed some place to escape to when she heard her parents fighting.

"Hey Kate?"

She turned her head to face him, rolling herself up onto his chest. Jack's arms circled around her lower back.

"I love you," he smiled.

She giggled against him despite the sad tone of her day so far. "I love you too."

"Wanna take a nap with me?" he asked in such a sweet way she could hardly say no.

Kate said nothing but rolled off him to pull back the covers on the bed, nestling under them with him by her side. Once again, like she'd been doing a lot lately, she watched him fall into sleep, her eyes washing over his features. She could never get over how handsome he was, how soft his face was when he slept.

A few hours later, after she'd slept a bit herself, she shook him awake. He grumbled incoherently, throwing his arm over his face.

"I'm leaving," she whispered into his ear, her warm breath seeming to startle him awake.

"No," he whined, grabbing her around the waist with both arms and pulling her back into him. As much as she wanted to stay, as much as she loved the feeling of his warm body against hers and his balmy lips on her neck, she couldn't.

She faced him; giving him a kiss and feeling it deepen although it wasn't her intention. Kate responded to him for a bit but broke away when his hands started to wander.

"I have to go to work," she told him in a sing song voice.

"Skip it," he told her, pressing himself against her as if it would persuade her to stay.

"Look at you being a bad influence," she laughed and accepted his kisses a few minutes longer.

"Okay, I'm leaving. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

Jack frowned at her playfully. "Okay… just don't find some new boyfriend while you're at work. I know how you like to seduce men at the tutor center," he teased her.

Kate swatted at him playfully. "Hey, study for biochem while I'm gone. You have that final coming up," she suggested, giving him one last kiss before leaving. As she drove to the tutor center her mind wandered back to Christian, and then to her mother, like it always did. She brushed the thoughts out of her head as she entered work, not wanting to bring her baggage with her.

She was once again in her own little world when her boss Theresa approached her. "Oh, hey, how are you?" she asked politely once she'd snapped out of it.

"Good, how about you?"

"Uhh, fine. So what's the story today?" Kate asked her.

"Actually, we have a new girl starting to tutor today. I figured since you've been here awhile you could help her out, maybe share some strategies before she starts with students?"

Kate nodded, not minding helping out in any way she could. "Yeah, sure. That sounds good."

"Thanks Kate, you're a life saver. She's right over there," Theresa pointed over the back room where a tall blond woman stood in nice jeans and a white button up shirt, her long hair in a head band.

Kate approached her, tapping her on the shoulder when the woman didn't notice her.

"Uhh, hi. I'm Kate," she started. "I guess I'm going to be getting you started," she smiled.

The woman grasped her outstretched hand, a little harder than she would've expected.

"Oh thank you _so_ much. I was so worried about today," the woman told her warmly. Kate could tell that they would get along just fine. Better than Brinton, she thought, rolling her eyes.

"I'm Juliet, by the way," she smiled again, straightening her shirt.

Kate froze. Juliet? That wasn't a very common name, was it?

"Nice to meet you," she said faintly.

"Okay," Juliet asked her, "where should I get started?"

Kate had a feeling they shouldn't get _anything _started.


	19. Redundant

Redundant

Kate didn't reveal who she was to Juliet- she couldn't even be sure that she was _the _Juliet. It hadn't gone as far as lying- she introduced herself as Kate since it was quite the common name, but didn't embellish. Despite the fact that this woman was Jack's ex, she could find no excuses to hate her. The blonde woman was quite beautiful, at least in Kate's opinion. Juliet was friendly and charming, and even more, she had taken immediately to the job. Kate had sat with Juliet and her first tutoring student and saw firsthand she'd done marvelously, useful and practical advice easing from her and needing practically no tips from Kate. She began doubting herself.

There was something else she was having more trouble with. Would she tell Jack? What if she wasn't even the right Juliet and bringing her up just brought more trouble? _'No,' _she thought. _'I have to tell him, I have to see what his reaction is.' _It sounded like such a great idea in her head, but was fully aware it would be harder to actually bring it up. And it looked as though Juliet would be around the tutoring center for quite some time- if she was going to leave it would most likely be by choice.

'_Damn, why can't there be something I hate about her?' _Kate had no students for the rest of the afternoon so she was cleaning up around the small room since they didn't get around to it much. Her thoughts strayed to Jack, as they often did when she was trying to work things out in her head. She hoped he was taking her advice and studying for his upcoming biochem final. It was important to him, and important to his future.

A few minutes later Juliet approached her, but Kate was spacing out. There was nothing like the 'other' woman to set doubts in her mind.

"So I'm all done. Do you need some help?"

The brunette snapped out of it and directed her attention to the blonde. "Sure… could you grab those paper towels over there? We need to finish this bookcase before we'll be done."

She brought them over to Kate and kneeled next to her, helping to remove all the books from the top shelf before wiping them clean.

"How long have you worked here?"

Kate didn't particularly want to get into personal things with Juliet, but as she thought about it more, she figured this would be the only way to find out whether or not she was, in fact, Jack's Juliet. "Since the beginning of my sophomore year, so about a year and a half."

Juliet's blue eyes smiled back at her, and Kate found herself wary of the intense gaze. "So you're a junior. Is that right?"

She nodded politely. "And yourself? How'd you end up here?"

"I'm a senior." Rolling her eyes playfully, she continued. "But I'm going to med school next year, so I'm nowhere near done."

Ahh, so that was the kicker, Kate thought. Juliet wanted to be a doctor too. She probably got along marvelously with Jack's parents. Hell, even Margo would probably approve.

Still, she tried to relate the best she could. "I know the feeling. I'm pre-vet."

Her features spread into a smile. "Oh, that's so great!" Kate wasn't against happiness, but Juliet's enthusiasm was beginning to wear thin. "I volunteer at the shelter on 13th, you know of it?"

Nodding her head to affirm that she did, Kate spoke carefully. She was opening up to this woman at a rapid pace. "Yeah, uhh, I do actually. I'm thinking about getting a dog soon. I figure if I'm going to be a vet I should probably have a pet," she tried to joke.

Juliet frowned suddenly. "I'm thinking about it too."

"Why is that a bad thing?" she asked, confused.

Juliet waved her off. "Well, it's just that I could never really have a pet before this year. Living situations, you know how that goes," she explained.

Kate had her suspicions as to why, but decided to play along rather than act accusatory. "Dorms?" It was logical, really, and wouldn't seem out of place.

Stacking the clean shelf with the books, she'd moved off, Juliet replied. "Well, the first year, yeah. But sophomore year I moved in with a boyfriend. I didn't really feel right invading the house, you know?" She stopped wiping the shelves and looked at Kate; she didn't like the intense stare. "We weren't ready for a baby," she tried to joke.

Half smiling, Kate pretended to know all about that sort of thing. "And that's not the case anymore?"

Seeing Juliet's sad expression, she jumped in. "I'm sorry if I'm prying. I didn't mean to." She had to seem unsuspecting.

"No, it's okay. It's just that I don't live there anymore. I'm not… with him anymore," she said slowly. A moment later she gathered her thoughts. "Well at least now I can get a puppy!" That damn enthusiasm was back again, Kate thought condescendingly.

Kate almost had her pegged. This _had _to be her. "I'm sorry."

It took her a moment, and when she responded, Kate wondered why she didn't say the standard "It's okay," or "It was for the best".

"I'm sorry too. I didn't exactly want it to be over." That was an awful lot for a relative stranger to confess, Kate thought.

There was no way to respond to this admission, so Kate simply nodded and they continued their cleaning in silence. She mulled over the information Juliet seemingly knew to feed her. The timeline was right for her to have lived with Jack, she had that unusual name, and she was also going to be a doctor…

It had to be.

An hour or so later they'd finished all of their tasks for the shift, and the two students parted ways.

"Thanks for all your help Kate. I'm sure I'll see you soon. Are you scheduled for Thursday?" Juliet stood patiently with her arms crossed in front of her, her bags balanced on her left shoulder.

"Yeah." Kate smiled weakly at her, as she was now fairly sure that Juliet was the Juliet of Jack's past. Although she'd never seen a picture of her at Jack's, as he'd made sure all remnants of her were gone, the woman she'd just met seemed to fit the bill.

But she was nice, and smart, and funny, and too innocent seeming.

Kate drove back to her apartment, needing some time for herself. She wouldn't willingly admit she'd spread herself a bit thin lately, with Jack, his father, school, work, and on top of that the news of her mother's return, but she had and it was starting to take its toll on her.

Having decided that now was certainly not the time for her to think of herself, Kate had pushed the latter to the back of her mind. But she found random, impulsive thoughts of her mother force their way into her at the strangest times- during class, at work ,when she was with Jack, when she had thought she removed her brain as far from it as possible. It seemed like ages ago that she spoke with her aunt. In her mother's mind, a few months was indeed ages, and she couldn't help but wonder if she was wasting her time thinking about all of it, perhaps getting her hopes up if one day she did visit.

Sawyer hadn't called, and Kate took that as a good sign. The way she figured it, the only time he would call would be to bother her about something random, or to tell her that her mother had skipped town again. She thought, in fact, most of her thought that would happen, that one day she'd get the phone call with Sawyer telling her Diane was no longer there. But Jack had made a point she could never seem to completely ignore. Why would Diane ever go back to that place, knowing full well that Kate could still be there, that people she grew up with would clue her in if she wasn't?

In California she'd made Jack promise that he'd force her to go visit her mother if she wouldn't herself. Kate now regretted the action, just as she knew she would, but although she'd never known Jack to break his promises, mostly because she rarely let him make them, in the back of her mind there was the hope that with everything else going on in his life, he'd conveniently forget.

Focusing herself on the study sheet in front of her, Kate got into the groove of preparing for her finals. Luckily even though she'd been a bit distracted of late, her schoolwork hadn't suffered much. She wasn't so sure about Jack's- he always found some way to change the subject, although she couldn't be sure he was doing it on purpose. She'd met him when he was stressed out about his grades, and he certainly wasn't acting that way currently.

She was interrupted when she heard the apartment door slam shut. Having lived with Heather for a few years now, she immediately recognized the dragging of her footsteps down the hallway and the dramatic sigh she withdrew before throwing her bags onto the floor with a thud.

"Hey," Kate called out from her desk, not bothering to get up. Her door was open and she could see into Heather's room from her seat.

Suddenly her roommate appeared in the doorway, mascara running like a river down her face, her lips trembling.

"What's wrong?" She stood up slowly, not sure how to comfort her.

"He broke up with me." A fresh spring of tears welled from her dark eyes and she hugged Kate tightly, surprising her.

Locked in Heather's embraced, Kate cringed, trying to remember the name of her most recent fling. Dave, it finally came to her. She'd met him once or twice in passing, and briefly Kate had thought Heather might have picked a good one.

"Dave?" Heather nodded her head on her shoulder and she could gradually feel the fabric of her shirt soak with salty tears.

"He cheated on me," she revealed later, now a bit more calm. "I can't believe it."

Kate lent a sympathetic nod to the girl she was now considering to be her friend. They'd come a long way since they'd first met and moved in together. She had to find some way to comfort her, and it finally came to her.

"You know, I couldn't believe it when it happened to me, either." Heather slowly lifted her head and stared at her.

"Really?"

She nodded in response. "It was in high school," she admitted, as though high school relationships didn't count for anything. "But we were pretty serious, and I had made all kinds of plans in my head."

"So what did you do?" Heather was now sprawled out on her roommate's queen sized bed, fingering the fabric of the green bedspread.

Thinking over her words carefully, Kate continued. "He'd already broken up with me by the time I found out, but at least it made sense after that. Called him many four lettered words, wanted to kill him, thought about it seriously, but one day I decided that didn't help me, so I got over it. It took awhile, but then there was a day I realized I didn't think about Sawyer as much."

Kate surprised herself at how much she revealed. Still, it seemed to soothe Heather and help her realize that cheating could happen to anyone, no matter how perfect their life seemed. Her roommate lay silently on her queen sized bed, most likely contemplating what made Dave stray, while Kate resumed her work, only pausing when her phone began to ring. She was annoyed, but saw that it was Jack. Anyone else she probably wouldn't have picked up for.

"Hey- can I call you back later?" were her first words to him.

His breath huffed into the phone and it became clear he was in distress. "It's my dad."

"What? Is everything okay?"

There was a pause on the line and she could tell he was developing his answer. "No. He's uh, in the hospital."

She started to panic at the news, not only for Jack and Christian, but for herself. Though not on purpose, she'd grown extremely close to his father in the short time she'd known him. They had an unsaid understanding, a bond that couldn't be forced.

"Kate?"

Recovering, she sat on the bed and spoke again. "Yeah… yeah, I'm here. Are you going?" Her questions flew rapidly.

"Yeah, I'm on my way actually. I called you because I figured you'd want to come…"

"Can you pick me up?" Kate was thankful Jack realized her close bond with his father and that she'd need to be with him.

Jack zipped up to the curb a minute later and with an explanation to Heather, they were on their way.

"She didn't say what was wrong," he said on the way, referring to his mother.

Kate wanted to be positive, wanted to tell him everything would be fine, but she couldn't bring herself to do it when she thought she might be lying. "Your mom probably just wanted to get back to him," was her reply. She thought it was a bit indifferent.

They arrived several minutes later due to heavy New York traffic, and sat in the waiting room, as instructed by the nurse at the check in desk. Kate grasped his hand, to comfort him and her. He looked at her, a serious expression set on his features.

"What if he doesn't get through this?" he asked, his eyes watering. "Not just this, not just being at the hospital for whatever the hell this is," he said, motioning largely. "If his treatments aren't working, the chemo, the radiation, all the hell that he's being put through- what if it's all for nothing?"

His head was resting in his hands and she could tell he was trying to shield his tears. She rubbed his back in attempts to comfort him and rested her head on his shoulder. There was nothing to could tell him at this point, and it was even harder now that she knew someone else doubted Christian's chances. The nurse at the station hadn't been able to tell them what was wrong. She appeared apologetic, as if she would've told them had there been no confidentiality laws in the way. However, she had told them Jack's mother was there and was with his father. They could get the information from her, whenever she decided to grace them with her presence.

They clung to each other in the public eye of the waiting room, not that anyone else was watching. He kissed her for a long moment. They grazed over each other's soft lips and savored the closeness, the here and now.

Jack sat back on the hard couch, frustrated. "I'm starting to doubt how much I actually want to be a doctor." His voice wavered with the admission.

"This is about your family, Jack. It won't always be like this."

A shrug from him told her he knew she was right but didn't feel like explaining it. Although Jack and Christian weren't as close as a father and son could be, Kate knew they had a special relationship, through good times and bad.

"Let's just wait for your mom before we get ahead of ourselves, yeah?"

The pair sat together and distractedly flipped through magazines, neither really paying attention to what their eyes were shifting over. They talked in choppy sentences, about nothing really, but both knew their minds weighed heavily on Christian's current health scare.

Margo finally appeared, dressed down in nice jeans and closed toed black pumps, a red sweater hugging her frame. Kate had never seen her like this.

Jack stood with a start when he sensed his mother's presence. "Mom." He rushed over to her, appearing relieved they'd finally get some answers. "How's dad?"

Kate felt Margo's eyes on her, probably wondering why she'd tagged along. Margo had made it plenty clear, several times in fact, that she didn't fancy 'strangers' like Kate getting into the family's business. She tried to turn Jack away from the brunette but Jack remained planted firmly to the ground.

"What's happening?" he asked again.

She pursed her lips and sat down in the empty chair by her side. "He has pneumonia. The doctors don't know how it happened, but as you know his immune system is weaker than normal from the chemo."

Jack nodded but Kate froze, immediately taking the blame internally. She'd practically forced him to sit with her in the park the other day, in the cold weather with the wind swirling around them. Had she caused this? Margo shot her a disapproving look, as if she knew about their stint in the park, but Kate thought paranoia was becoming a factor.

"How serious is it?" she heard herself bite out.

The older woman finally acknowledged her existence, looking into her eyes briefly. "It's not as bad as it could be as we caught it early. Good thing your father's a doctor," she told Jack. "He's stubborn as a bull, but he finally admitted he needed to come in."

Jack's face softened a bit from the semi-good news. "So he'll be fine?"

It was Margo's turn to shrug. "The doctors said they're keeping him for a week minimum, but that he should be able to fight off the infection since it's in the beginning stages." She paused. "He's taking it rather well though."

Kate and Jack both visited his father, brining a grin to the sick man's face. He was visibly paler, Jack noted, than the last time he'd seen him, and he guiltily wondered if it was from the chemo or the pneumonia.

He watched with jealousy as Kate brightened his father's day, making him laugh and appear jovial, characteristics Jack hadn't seen much of, even when his father was happy. Internally, he knew he was being selfish, that he had no right to be jealous of their relationship. Only wishing that he could have the same thing with his father, he piped in occasionally on the conversation, letting the two run the show. A moment later his mother came in the room, arriving from her coffee run. The two sat in relative silence, both witnessing the same thing, but neither having the heart to mention it.


	20. Another Know It All

_Thanks for your reviews and suggestions! I know there's been a little less Jate the past few chapters but I feel like the story is really developing in other ways. I'm excited about that, and I hope you are too. For this chapter I'm challenging the lurkers out there to send me their thoughts..._

Another Know It All

Kate had sensed the tension in the car as Jack drove her home- not even asking her to stay over as he normally did. He made some excuses about having a lot of work to do, and while she didn't doubt that was true, he wasn't acting like the Jack she knew and had come to love. She went about her own business in her apartment, Heather bothering her a few times for some girl talk. Kate wasn't sure she was the right person to be dishing out advice, but took it as a compliment Heather chose to come to her. Maybe it was just because she happened to be around.

The next day she hadn't heard from Jack, so she instinctively walked to his place after class, knowing that he didn't have class at that time and would most likely be home. He answered after a few minutes, looking disheveled. It didn't take long, once she'd entered through the side door, to see the papers and textbooks he'd spread across the living room carpet.

He pecked her on the lips, leaving her a bit disappointed. "What's all this?"

"Finals," he grumbled, returning to his station on the floor, seemingly content to ignore her.

She waited some more, just to see if he wanted to talk. "What's wrong?"

His eyes never shifted from the paper he was reading when he answered her. "Nothing, I'm just behind, that's all."

"So I haven't heard from you for awhile."

Jack laughed, a sarcastic laugh that she didn't like. "Heaven forbid I don't talk to you for 12 hours."

Crinkling her eyebrows in protest, she retorted. "Hey, I'm not trying to get on your case. I just want to know what's up with you. Excuse me for caring." She made a move to leave, not wanting to take his attitude any longer. He'd talk when he was ready.

Standing from the ground, Jack grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry. It's just all this stuff with my dad is overwhelming. I don't mean to take it out on you. You've been nothing but wonderful through all of this."

Kate made him suffer a bit longer but then offered him a shy smile. "Okay. Apology accepted."

She kissed him, but something felt different, like he was holding back. Still, she missed him, and he was kissing her back. Soon his lips were on her neck, his forming beard scratching her. Just the way she liked it. After his assurance that no one else was home, she pulled his shirt up and over his head and her lips followed. They were on the floor, but neither cared, neither bothered to move. They missed each other, missed being with the other in more ways than one.

Giggles escaped her throat when his hands teased her waist, tickling her lightly while he kissed her, seemingly into oblivion. She rolled on top of him and he let her. He didn't feel like worrying about anyone else at the moment. She undressed him slowly, taunting him. He sucked in his breath sharply when Kate's mouth enveloped his shaft and bobbed up and down on it expertly, teasing it with her tongue. She stopped when he warned her and after giving him a moment to gather himself, straddled him and sank down on him slowly, her warm wetness accepting him and molding them together.

They moved slowly, each savoring the other. All that they'd been experiencing lately had taught them the fragility of life. They had no way of knowing if by some strange chain of events, this would be their last time together. For once Kate's mind cleared as she felt Jack inside her. She could tell Jack was experiencing the same sort of thing; this strange closeness of connection they were sharing, much different from their other times together. There were no words said, unusual for their couplings, and they laid in silence afterwards.

She played with his fingers lazily as her cheek rested against his chest. "So I was thinking about seeing your dad this afternoon."

Jack raised his head. "But I have class."

She nodded in acknowledgement. "I know." Her speech paused. "But I can go without you, can't I?"

He snapped at the words, sitting up quickly and pulling his clothes on. "I'm sick of this, Kate," he bit out. "I know you mean well, or at least I hope you do, but I'm tired of going to see my father and all he can talk about is you, or of visiting him with you and hardly being able to get a word in edge wise."

Kate's frame shrank back from his harsh words. "I don't mean for that to happen," she stuttered, standing up as well and dressing with a worried look on her face.

"You're making me look like the bad guy here. I look like his son who doesn't care, who puts all of his father's care on his girlfriend because he's too busy and tired and unloving to care." He stalked to the bedroom when he'd finished his rant, slamming the door behind her.

Warm tears fled to her eyes, splashing down her cheeks. She had sensed he felt a bit jealous when she was with Christian, but it hadn't stopped her from making him happy. Right now, she felt that Christian deserved her attention. Taking quiet steps she trembled when she opened Jack's bedroom door. He was leaning on the window sill, looking out into the expanse of white snow that covered the winter ground.

He knew she was there even though she hadn't made a sound when she entered. He always knew. Kate had some sort of chemical reaction with him, a force that alerted him to her presence. Still he didn't turn around. She'd listen either way.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't see him."

Kate leaned on the door. "What does this mean?"

He said nothing, not sure what she meant. "For us?" she clarified.

Deep within him he wanted to tell her everything would be fine. But he had to see if he could get through this alone. He was sick of depending on other people. He shouldn't, he told himself.

"I don't know." When he said nothing else, and she asked nothing further, she left without a goodbye, not sure if she'd ever be back.

He'd never been so cold to her. She'd never seem him act this way to _anyone_, let alone to someone he claimed to love. Or loved, depending on how things went.

Kate visited Christian despite Jack's request for her not to. Taking careful steps to his hospital room on the route she'd memorized by now, she wondered if Jack would tell his father about their fight, or whatever it was.

The older man smiled genuinely when she entered. He removed the oxygen mask from his mouth which was aiding his breathing. "Kate."

She managed a smile. "Hey. How ya feeling today?" She sat in the chair beside his bed and took his hand in hers, ignoring the IV that was connected to it.

Blue eyes stared into her green orbs as he ignored her request. "What's wrong?"

Kate ducked her head when he asked this. She should've figured he'd be able to tell. "Nothing for you to worry about," she tried. There was no sense in worrying him about anything.

Christian's humor was still in tact, and he shot her a look telling her he didn't believe it.

"Jack and I had a fight." She rolled her eyes at the answer, knowing how petty her answer seemed.

"Ahh. I knew something was wrong. What happened?"

There was no sense in lying to Christian, Kate thought. He'd catch her, she was sure of it. Sometimes she wished, just like Jack had, that they couldn't read each other so well. Still, her answer was full of hesitation. "It was actually about you."

A look of surprise crossed his face, and it didn't shock Kate. How else was he supposed to react? He sat in silence, waiting for her to continue.

"He's jealous, I think." Christian seemed to understand without Kate having to explain.

"My relationship with Jack has always been a bit strained. I won't lie to you about that. I'm sure he's told you all about it." On her nod, he continued. "We're probably more alike than he'll ever want to admit." The older man chuckled, ruffling his thinning grey hair with his hand. "Anyway, don't apologize to him about this," he said, motioning between the two of them.

"I just don't know what to do. He told me not to see you anymore."

Christian smiled. "And I see you've listened."

"I'm not going to let him tell me what to do…"

"And you shouldn't. Kate, I'm going to talk to him, and don't try to tell me otherwise."

"But he'll know I was here," she countered.

He waved her off. "So be it. You guys will get over this eventually. I want to make sure everything is okay. You know, before…" He trailed off and Kate closed her eyes, knowing what he was implying, but she couldn't seem to swallow it.

Approaching the next topic carefully, Christian spoke his words slowly as not to slip up. "From what I gather you and your mother share a similar relationship like Jack and I do?"

"How do you know about that?"

He shrugged. "Just putting together some things you've mentioned during our talks."

"My mom isn't… wasn't around for a long time."

"And your father?" Kate found it unbelievable how much she trusted this man.

"He wasn't around either. I kind of went at it alone," she admitted.

"But that's not the case anymore?" He sat up in his bed further and Kate leaned back in the uncomfortable chair.

"She took off when I was in high school. Left me a note saying she was fine. I haven't seen her for five years," she began, trying to explain her story to Jack's father. He only nodded, not wanting to interrupt her. "And then… I got a call- when Jack and I were in California packing up your house. It was my aunt. I had just found out that my mom was back in my hometown a few days beforehand. Then she tells me that she was with my mom the entire time. They betrayed me, lied to me."

She ended her story there. Christian probably didn't really want to hear about this, being a rather depressing story.

"Are you going to see her?" he asked quite bluntly.

"I don't think I can. She obviously didn't want me before."

He organized his thoughts before speaking. "But she went back to the place you were raised. That says something," he pointed out.

Kate couldn't help but smile. "Jack said the same thing."

"Just think about it, okay? I think we're all learning a little lesson from me. See her while you still have the chance."

She felt herself nod. She'd now made Jack promise to send her, and made a promise to Christian that she intended to follow through on.

They continued their conversation, switching to lighter topics. Kate got an update from Margo when she arrived later in the afternoon. She didn't seem shocked to see Kate there without Jack, and was actually fairly warm towards her. His condition was about the same as it had been the day before, but the medications took some time to show effects. Kate left shortly after, but Christian stopped her just before she exited.

"I'll talk to him." He smiled warmly at her and continued his conversation with his wife.

The next day she was sure Jack had talked to his father, but she still hadn't heard from him. He needed space. She got that.

Jack had indeed spoken to his father. He'd tried to press Christian for medical information, but all he wanted to talk about was the mess he'd gotten himself into with his girlfriend. It partly bothered him, but he realized that his father was really looking out for him and obviously thought Kate and he were good for each other.

"You won't find another one like her, Jack," he'd told his son. "And she won't find another one like you."

He'd thought it over since then. His relationship with his father had improved, and he was quite sure that theirs would never be as natural as he and Kate's. Maybe it just wasn't in the cards. She deserved a call, he thought. But he couldn't bring himself to pick up the phone, to admit that he was wrong and had blown everything out of proportion. Over the next few days he felt his routine change from the fact that she was no longer present in his life.

Christmas day had come and gone, and while Jack celebrated with his family, as Christian had been released from the hospital a few days beforehand, he wondered what Kate was doing. She had no family, not that she wanted to be with them anyway. It had been two weeks since their fight and surprisingly neither of them had cracked. He missed her. He missed her when the sun came up and shone through the curtains, and he realized over and over again that she wasn't sleeping next to him, when he saw something funny and knew he had no one to tell, no one quite like her.

She missed him, but hated him at the same time, for turning into that guy he _promised_ he wouldn't be. There was that damned word again. It haunted her. But by now she was ready to forgive. She'd finally found someone who was worthy of forgiveness.

Christian was still receiving visits from Kate- that much Jack knew, but little else. His father would never speak of them. His health remained questionable, and though his chemotherapy course wasn't yet finished and it would take some time to understand the affect of his disease.

He didn't know what else to do, so he pretended everything was okay. Every day when he was walking to class, he hoped, prayed that he'd have a chance run in with her, that it would provide them with the spark to get over the challenge. That way they both could get over their stubbornness and neither of them would have to be wrong.

And when there was a knock on his door, a week or two later, he opened it only to reveal Juliet. This time he met her with no confrontation. She was smiling at him, holding a platter of Christmas cookies with one hand. He looked at her, clearly confused.

"Relax," she told him. "I'm not here to mess anything up."

He stood with his arms crossed, though he didn't feel intimidated by her.

"I heard about your dad." Oh, that's why she was here, he thought.

"I know it's not much, but I thought maybe you could give these to him, tell him I'm thinking of him?" She was hopeful, and seemed honest. He nodded towards her.

"Sure. He'll be happy to hear from you, even if it's through me."

Juliet glanced around the living room, taking in the subtle changes that had occurred since she'd moved out. "It looks nice," she commented, for lack of anything better to say.

"You want to sit down?" She appeared surprised that he'd asked her to stay. The last time they'd met up, he'd made it pretty clear he wanted nothing to do with her.

They sat in silence for a bit. "So is that her?" she asked, pointing to the frame on the coffee table. It was a picture of one Jack with his roommates and one of his roommate's female friends. It was innocent enough.

He nodded. "No, that's not Kate."

"You don't sound happy to be saying that…"

Shifting on the couch, now starting to feel uncomfortable, he answered indifferently. "We're on a break."

"Oh. I see. Does that mean…?"

"No," he cut off her hopes. "We're just on a break."

"For how long?"

It wasn't really any of Juliet's business, but these days Jack had no one else to talk to about this. He'd worn his roommate's thin talking about Kate all the time. They'd all given him the same advice, and he supposed they were right- for how much he missed her, why didn't he just call? "Close to a month."

Her eyes widened. "Wow, that's rough."

There was a pounding on the door that didn't let up until he opened it, annoyed with the insistent perpetrator.

"What?" he bit out as he swung it open.

There she was, standing right in front of him. She smiled shyly, but got right to business.

"I know it's been awhile, and maybe I should've called first, but I'm going back home."

He still stood in the doorway, Kate standing outside in the drizzly chill. "To Iowa?" He was still baffled why she was telling him this and remained defensively at the door.

"Yeah."

"And you're coming to me because…?" Waiting for an explanation, he realized what the situation inside would look like.

Looking down at her boots, the toes covered in snow, she paused. "Because I want you to come with me."

He stared at her blankly. "What? Why? You haven't talked to me in three weeks Kate!"

"It takes two," she defended herself. "You were the one who told me off, Jack. Now can I come in?" Without waiting for a response, she pushed past him and into the living room she'd considered a second home just weeks ago.

He wanted to stop her and explain what was going on, but didn't have time. Kate didn't know what Juliet looked like, but it probably wouldn't take her long to figure out who the mysterious blonde was, he thought.

When he turned around, he saw Juliet stand up from her seat on the sofa. She glanced at Kate and then smirked. "Kate," she said, with a surprised tone in her voice. "You know Jack?"

Jack practically burnt a hole through Kate, staring her down. "Yeah… you could say that," he said softly.

_Forgive me for the brief description of their weeks long separation... although you probably like it better that way! I felt that a jump in time was probably a better decision than rambling on and on about it! And a side note... 20 Chapters! I can hardly believe it's been that long._


	21. Take A Bow

_So I really hope you're all still interested, as last chapter wasn't exactly loved, but nonetheless, here's the latest update!_

Take A Bow

Awkwardness could hardly come close to explaining the feelings that rushed through the group's veins.

"Kate and I work together," Juliet explained. Kate looked at him guiltily.

"And you knew who she was?" He directed his question towards Juliet.

The blonde shook her head no, and Jack believed her. "No. I didn't make anything of her name."

"But you knew, didn't you?" This time he asked Kate, but he didn't need to. He already knew the answer.

Not meeting his eyes, she looked anywhere else. "And you weren't going to tell me?"

Juliet lurked in the background, not sure what her place was. "I was going to…" Kate tried to explain.

"Oh, you were going to explain that you worked with my ex-girlfriend?" he sneered.

Suddenly Kate became Kate again. "Yeah, Jack, I was _going _to tell you. Then you went all spastic on me about your father."

He wouldn't let her blame this on him. But then he remembered, and could see by the smirk on Juliet's face that she did too- the kiss they'd shared when he and Kate were still together- happily together, at that. It dawned on him that perhaps it wasn't all Kate's fault. Almost constantly through their "break" he'd scrutinized every portion of her personality, convinced that their situation was anything but his fault. He got the feeling that her showing up at his door indicated she was ready to move past whatever was between them before- but this brought up something new. Another hurdle for them to jump.

Kate moved closer to him and he backed away from the contact. Sitting down on the couch, he found the will to speak to Juliet. "Could you please leave?" he begged of her, politely almost. "I'll make sure to keep you updated on my dad," he added once she had opened the door.

She nodded, and he knew that she would be in contact with him soon enough. Once Juliet was gone, they sat down on the couch together, close in proximity, but so far apart otherwise.

"How long had you known?" he finally asked her.

She took awhile to respond. "A few days. I was afraid to bring her up again. That maybe you had doubts about us." She paused. "I guess I was right."

The words soaked in his mind but he changed the subject nonetheless. "I kissed her," he admitted.

He had to look down when the hurt shone in her eyes. "When we were together."

"What?" she whispered, locking her hands together tightly as if she didn't believe it- couldn't believe it.

Feeling the need to explain what happened, he carried on. "We ran into each other on campus one afternoon. You and I were fighting, and I took her up on the offer to have coffee. We were sitting in a booth, just talking, and she leaned over and kissed me. I let her. Then I kissed her back." He stopped, gauging her reaction.

"I told you not to promise me things," she whispered, referring to the promise he'd made not to cheat.

Admitting defeat, he nodded morosely. "I know. But I thought I could keep it. I wanted to keep it. Then I realized when we were kissing… what I was doing- to you."

"What, and all is well again?" she laughed bitterly, standing up.

"But I stopped it, Kate. I know I let myself get sucked into it, into what Juliet and I used to have. She still wants it, Kate. But I don't." She remained standing. "I want _you_, and I need _you_. It might be selfish, but I do."

Kate twisted her hair between her long fingers distractedly. "I never should've come here."

Placing his body in front of hers to stop her from leaving before this was all sorted out, they both secretly relished the contact their bodies had briefly made. It had been so long- too long.

"Don't leave," he pleaded with her, and it became another of the countless times she'd backed down from those dark, intense, glassy eyes. "Kate, we've both fucked up. I shouldn't have done what I did. You shouldn't have kept Juliet from me. I shouldn't have blamed you for my failed relationship with my father. Can't we just get over this?"

It was doubtful, at least in Jack's mind that his pleas would work with Kate. They were both stubborn, though he'd always thought she was a bit more. She had to be that way, with everything that had happened to her.

"I don't know what to think about all of this." She sat back down on the couch, and Jack felt that at least he'd gotten to her somehow, that maybe she would think it over. "I came over here, all ready to just move on with us. I just visited your dad." Her voice softened as she admitted this. "He gives great advice, you know."

They both smiled at this. "I've been talking to him about my mom. And he basically told me the exact same thing you did."

Jack breathed deeply. "So you're going to go then?" Despite their conflicts, he was proud of her.

"Yeah." An oddly comfortable silence washed over them. "I want you to come with me," she told him finally, although she'd blurted it out on impulse. Kate wanted to be angry with him, and a part of her felt as though he should be gone for good. But Jack was worth too much to her for her to back down. He had confessed, and knew it was a mistake. When she walked in, Juliet was there, and it didn't seem anything romantic. _"I've made my share of mistakes…" _she thought, but hoped it wasn't becoming her mantra.

Shakily he rested his leg on the other. "But what about all of this? How are we dealing with it?" Pausing, he then added, hesitantly, "I mean, did you even hear what I just told you? And what I said to you about my dad, when really you were fantastic with him…" Clenching his jaw it seemed as though he was reliving everything that had taken place in the past month or so.

She faced him, and for the first time in weeks, he got to look into her green eyes. Somehow he could tell they'd be okay. She shared a smile with him, although it wasn't the grin he was used to.

Ignoring his previous question, she leaned her elbows onto her knees. "Your dad wants you to come with me."

Jack smiled. He'd been visiting his father a lot lately, as Kate undoubtedly was as well. "Yeah, well dad never hides his opinions." A laugh rang through the air and it filled him with a hopeful feeling.

"We'll work it out," she whispered to him, and he knew she meant their relationship. "It's not going to be easy... We've both done some pretty testing things..."This time their foreheads touched and they both closed their eyes. "I missed you so much," she told him, hugging him tightly to her body. After awhile, Kate spoke again, this time into his ear from their embrace. "Look, we were apart for awhile and I think we both understand it's not what we want. So I'm not sure how and when everything is going to be fine, but we just have to take it on faith that it will be."

They both let out deep breaths, decompressing in each other's arms. It seemed as though he couldn't hold her quite tight enough to him, couldn't quite guarantee he'd never lose her again. He still had so many questions to ask her, but for now, he let himself enjoy her silent company.

Some time later they were still sitting on the couch, beside each other but not sure where to go from there.

"Who are those from?" Pointing to the tray of cookies still lying on the coffee table, she pivoted towards him, tucking her long legs underneath her.

"Juliet."

Her face straightened. "Oh."

"They're for my dad. That's why she came over. She'd just heard."

Kate didn't question it. He'd admitted all to her, when he really didn't have to, when he had _everything_ to lose. She had to tell herself there was nothing else behind this.

"Okay."

The topics of their exchange changed often. "So when are you going?"

"I called Sawyer. She's still there. I want to go soon."

He pressed her for more information, and for once Kate didn't seem to mind. "What are you going to say to her?"

A motion of her shoulders told him she didn't know. "I was hoping we could figure it out on the way there," she admitted, daring to cross their unsaid boundary, leaning against him slightly. His natural reaction was to recoil from the contact, but he reminded himself that this was Kate, his Kate, even though things had changed.

"You still want me to go?" His reaction was that of surprise.

"It would only be right. Without you I don't think I would be going. Unless you don't want to go. I'll understand." Their talk was awkward still, their sentences not flowing with ease as they normally had.

"My dad…" he started.

She nodded. "Of course. We'd only be gone for a few days, but I'll understand if you can't." Pushing the trip on him was the last thing Kate wanted to do, but she got the feeling she really needed him around.

Kate watched him sigh and almost laughed internally. She could practically see the clutter of thoughts through his skull. "He wants me to go?"

"I think he'll disown you if you don't." They both laughed. "You should talk to him about it though."

"He'll be happy," Jack told her, referring to the fact that they were now talking.

Setting her palm on top of the flat of his hand, she leaned into him more, thankful that he didn't try to move away from her. She'd missed the warmth of his skin, his touch, his smell. "_I'm_ happy," she insisted.

"Yeah, me too." They sat together for a bit. "How can you forgive me?" he blurted out, knowing that he shouldn't test his luck. "I mean, I _promised _you. And I was so positive that I could keep it and the exact thing you warned me about, happened. And then I go all mental on you, and I was basically just jealous because you're closer to my father in a few months than I've been for 21 years..."

"Because," she interrupted, "when you love someone, when you're so completely in love with them that it hurts to be without them more than to be with them, no matter what they've done... you learn to forgive. You're the first person I've done that for," she said evenly, though he knew how significant the action was. Kate had never been a trusting person and the fact that she wanted anything to do with him after proving herself right about promises- well that, he couldn't understand but would stop questioning. He'd fallen in love with her for more than one reason, after all.

After a time there seemed to be nothing left to say, at least not at the moment. "I guess I should get going then." She looked to Jack and was touched when he looked sad.

He squeezed her hand. "My parents are coming around for dinner actually. You want to stay?"

Rather than flatter herself over Jack's invitation, she instead found herself questioning Christian's health. "He's feeling up to it?"

"He's been off chemo for the weekend, so he's feeling better than usual. He didn't tell you that?"

"I ask him all the time about the chemo, but he doesn't like to talk about that stuff with me."

"He'll be happy to see you."

Kate grinned and actually let herself loose. "That makes one of them. I can feel your mother's eyes stabbing me in the back every time I see your dad," she said sarcastically.

"I see nothing has changed."

She left him with the promise of returning later, as she wanted to change and get ready for dinner. His parents had already arrived by the time she walked back into the house. Margo had asked him who the fourth place setting was for, but Jack kept her out of the loop.

Kate straightened her shirt one last time before opening the door to Jack's house. Although she'd seen Christian and Margo numerous times since she and Jack broke up, she felt just as nervous as the first time they'd met. On the walk over she was giddy with excitement. Maybe she was imagining it, but she could've sworn she had an extra bounce in her step, an extra flutter in her heart. She had her Jack back. Maybe not all the way, but they'd gotten past an awful lot and both had admitted big mistakes.

Margo already had taken a guess as to why her son was so happy, so she wasn't at all surprised when Kate walked through the door. Feeling rather indifferent when they'd broken it off suddenly, she wasn't sure how she felt with Kate reentering. However much any female her son dated bothered her, she had to admire Kate's dedication to Christian even when Jack wasn't in the picture.

She saw Kate smile shyly at Jack, but noticed there was no sort of physical greeting as she normally saw. "Hello Kate," she said coolly.

The brunette looked nice, as she almost always did, and took a seat next to Margo on the small sofa. "Margo, hi, how are you?" It was always very formal between the two, ever since their first meeting when they'd let things get a little out of control.

"Very well, thank you." Margo's prim and proper manners could not be outdone by Kate. "Jack's father is in the washroom, I'm sure he'll be right out," the older lady told her, as if she knew it would be Kate's next question.

On cue, Christian walked down the hall. He saw Kate and high fived Jack, who was in the kitchen. Jack laughed and shook his head, but he was happy. When he was in front of her, she stood, watching the look on his face. It portrayed all kinds of questions- were she and Jack back together, what are you doing here?... She gave him a nod but shrugged a little, as if to say she wasn't sure on the details but things were looking bright.

"So Jack tells me you're off the chemo for a few days longer than normal?" She asked him this is an accusing, but humorous tone, teasing him. "Thanks for letting me know…"

He waved her off as if to say it was no big deal. The fact that his doctors chose to stop his treatment for a few more days was either a really good sign or a really bad one. Kate wasn't sure she wanted to ask.

"I should be done with this round by this time next week." Scanning the room with his light eyes, he accepted the hand his wife offered. "Then I'll go in for some tests and we'll see the progress I've made." He said it lightly, hopefully, and Kate was glad for him.

They continued talking until Jack told them dinner was ready. Margo was even more civil than normal towards Kate, and Jack thought his father had some doing in it. When the two left, Jack and Kate were left alone once again. They cleared the table in relative silence.

"Where does this go?" she asked him, holding out a large white platter which he'd served the meat on.

"Hmm?" he asked absent mindedly. "Oh, top cupboard. I'll get it."

"So I wonder what my dad said to my mom to get her to act so nice to you?" Jack joked with her. She laughed along with him, as she'd certainly noticed Margo's actions rising above the minimal requirement of politeness.

Brushing her long hair away from her neck, she shrugged. "Beats me, but I hope it lasts a long time."

There was a certain awkwardness in admitting "a long time" for anything in her life, let alone a relationship with Jack that was still on the rocks. She didn't want to come across as needy.

"So…" Jack trailed off once they'd cleaned the kitchen and had the table completely cleared.

Kate grabbed her bag from where she'd tossed it on Jack's recliner. He gave her a hazy, lustful look just before her lips descended uncertainly on his. She pulled away after a few seconds.

"Good night, Jack," she told him softly.


	22. You Can Breathe Now

_Yes, an update. You're not imagining things! This chapter kind of introduces Kate's hometown to all of you... but no, no meeting with mom yet! And... quite smutty if I do say so. Felt like they needed something happy and sexy to happen to them! Ha ha. Please review, taking a long break from a story sometimes makes it hard to start again, and I'm curious of what you think, of course! Happy reading..._

You Can Breathe Now

"I can't believe I'm doing this. I shouldn't be doing this." Jack wanted to roll his eyes at her in frustration, but he more than knew what a big step this was.

Laying his hand on her knee, he shushed her. "You're doing the right thing. For you."

Kate closed her eyes tightly and grasped the hand that was lying in her lap as the plane began to speed down the runway. He squeezed it back.

"Thank you for coming with me," she whispered, struggling as the aircraft lifted into the blue New York sky. "Oh God, I forgot how much I hate flying." She pressed a hand to her stomach in attempts to ease the flutters in it.

He plopped his head on the back of the chair, remembering just how uncomfortable his tall frame rested in coach. "The flight is only two hours, Kate. I think you'll make it," he teased her, and she smiled gratefully.

Though his life had been full of practically nothing but silence in the absence of Kate, Jack shut his eyes and savored it. He knew that right there, where he was sitting on the stiff gray cushion, his last calm moments would occur. A week had passed since Kate had come back to him, and the trip was planned in haste with short phone calls to Sawyer. In the end, she'd decided she couldn't call and let them know she was coming. They were going to stay with Sawyer, and Kate could go when, if, she got the courage to.

Although they were back together, it wasn't the same as it had been. They hadn't _truly _been together, not in the physical sense, anyway, and their conversations were sometimes short and awkward. They could've given up, he thought, but then sometimes, she'd graze his chest, or he'd clasp her hand in his, and they were reminded of those magic moments. They were enough.

She wanted to talk about the visit, about her mom more specifically, she had for awhile in fact. But how were those words supposed to come out of her mouth? Tumbling, rushed, she supposed, but quick words and hasty phrases were what destroyed she and Jack in the first place. He was giving her space, she knew, but sometimes she wished he would just ask her, that he would force her to talk about it again.

"What if she doesn't want to see me?" The words, just as she'd thought, came tumbling out of her mouth, rolling off her tongue with strange ease. He didn't respond for awhile, and she let out a breath, thinking maybe he'd fallen asleep. Then his eyes cracked open and he ran his thumb over their attached hands.

Those dark, deep eyes bored into her own, and she felt as though she might burst. What would he say?

"Then she's the craziest person I'll ever have met."

* * *

"Jesus, Kate, did you pack enough?" he scoffed jokingly, struggling with the suitcases he'd managed to pull from the carousel. 

It was true that she may have gone overboard, in her quest to impress her family, and because she wasn't all that sure how long she'd have to live out of a suitcase.

"Sorry," she told him genuinely, tugging on a few bags herself.

He set down what he had struggled to pick up. "Hey, I was just kidding... I know this is hard for you, okay?"

To his surprise, she sank herself into his chest and wrapped her arms tightly around his middle. She knew that when her body met Jack's, something strange would happen, that her nerves would calm and her body would buzz. It was always like that.

Her phone vibrated and she pulled away from his warmness. "Sawyer's waiting outside," she told him, and suddenly it all felt real, as she stepped foot onto actual Iowa soil.

"Can't wait," Jack said teasingly. He and Sawyer hadn't exactly gotten along the only time they'd ever met, but he thought under these circumstances it was certainly none of his business to criticize him.

"Freckles!" a loud voice shouted at them. There he was, standing with outside a beat up old car, waving at them, visibly annoyed by the hair the wind was blowing in his face. "Welcome home," he said in what Jack assumed was a joking manner but hadn't quite figured out. Kate hugged him briefly.

"Thanks for uhh, letting us stay with you. And everything." She didn't want to meet his eyes, those blue eyes that had hurt her so much in the past, but she did, because she was grateful.

They climbed in the car and rode the short ride back in almost silence. Jack sat in the back by himself, but as they neared the town, he could sense her apprehension.

"Home sweet home," Sawyer said bitterly, with his arms wide open. He lead them into a small, one story white house. It was rather plain, but well kept up. Once they had settled in, Sawyer cracked open a beer and offered one to each. "I saw her yesterday," he admitted, and Kate's head snapped up. "At the grocery store..." he told her, holding the can of beer up.

Traveling her eyes around the room, she let them rest on Sawyer's. "Did she see you? Recognize you?"

The blond man looked to Jack, then finally nodded. "I tried to leave before she saw me, but she was too quick. Guess she still knew who I was, even after all this time."

Kate wanted so desperately to ask him what happened, but the words wouldn't come out. She couldn't get them out. Jack ran his fingers lightly over her forearm. He was still there, she breathed.

Jack cleared his throat. "So... what happened?" He knew Kate wanted to ask. He had to be her voice when she wasn't able to use hers.

Sawyer took a long while to answer, and she realized it must have been something important. "...She asked about you, Freckles." He looked down when he saw tears spring to her eyes in a matter of seconds.

Jack let her cry, and apart from the hand he was holding, didn't try to soothe her. Sure, he needed to be there for her, but she needed to help herself just as much. The blue-eyed man looked at him for confirmation to continue, and he nodded.

"She asked if I knew where you were. What you were up to." He sipped at his beer through the relative silence in the room. "She looked better, Freckles. Better than when she left."

Kate sucked in her breath and nodded towards him, her own silent form of thanks. "Did you tell her anything?" she managed to choke out.

"Just said that I hadn't heard from you for awhile. Told her you were in New York."

She stood defiantly from the couch, her hands on her hips, and despite her tear streaked face, she was calm. "Why would you do that? How could you tell her where I live?"

For the first time in several minutes, Sawyer let out a bark of laughter. "Relax, Freckles. New York is a big place."

"You managed to find me," she shot back.

Jack interrupted. "Because _he_ was looking for you." His words could've sounded harsh, but somehow they were just what she needed to hear.

* * *

"Are we ever going to be normal?" she asked him slowly, tracing his cheek with her hand. They were lying on their sides on the uncomfortable hotel bed. They had planned on staying at Sawyer's house, but when they realized he still lived there with his parents, it brought about awkwardness. 

Jack stared back at her, thankful that at least he had Kate back, no matter what they were going through. "Probably not," he whispered, and they both laughed lightly despite the bitter reality of both of their situations. His hand played with the skin on her hip and their breathing became shallow.

"I think I'm going to go tomorrow," she breathed eventually, running her hands over his closely cropped hair and down his neck. "I just have to."

He nodded against her and kissed her neck lightly. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No," she responded, quickly but quietly. "I need to do this part on my own. Is that okay?" she hesitated. Somewhere inside she felt guilty- for dragging him all the way out to Iowa and not even letting him go with her.

"Just do... just do whatever you need to do, okay?"

She let her hands cup his face again and smiled, almost sadly at him. She was overwhelmed that somehow she'd found this amazing man, when he was the last thing she had been looking for. Learning to trust again had been difficult, and most days Kate wasn't so sure she really did, but when she saw the way Jack was looking at her she'd never been so sure of anything in her entire life.

"I love you," she told him softly and leaned forward to kiss him.

"I love you too," he murmured against her partially open mouth. "So much." She scooted closer to him so her body was pressed lightly against his. Savoring the contact, Kate kissed him lovingly, longingly, aware that he was letting her make the moves.

"I've missed us," she mused, now playful as she rolled on top of him. Thankfully, Jack pulled her neck down so her mouth met his, only this time it was heated, as his mouth opened against hers, almost daring her. She teased his lips with the tip, then finally delved into his warm mouth. They tangled passionately and sensually, rolling one over the other until they were short of breath. She trailed wet kisses down his neck, and Jack felt his resolve starting to break.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked her, his voice saying one thing but his hands another. She said nothing, but pulled away and glared at him, before running her hand lightly over the front of his jeans. He groaned and gripped her hips.

"That's what I thought," Kate breathed into his ear, her long hair brushing over his shoulders and like a curtain over his face.

He couldn't resist meshing his mouth to hers again, and they kissed deeply. It had been so long. Too long. She broke away and he watched while, slowly, she unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, revealing the slightest bulge through the black boxer briefs he wore. He braced himself, not sure how long he would last, having had only the company of his hand for the past month. She was teasing him, he realized, as she tugged on the hem of his shirt, encouraging him to remove it. Following her orders, he sat up and pulled it swiftly over his head, kissing her once more before she resumed her work on his lower half.

She giggled guiltily when she pulled him from his boxers, feeling him tense and hearing him gasp. She knew how long it had been, and smiled up at him when she ran her hand over him. He hardened fully in no time, thanks to the skills of her pumping hands. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the pillows, as it became clear to him that she wanted to be in control. She wanted to be in control of _something._ His hips bucked up when she took him into her mouth, sucking lightly on the over-sensitive head. He couldn't decide if it was painful or pleasurable, until her mouth slid most of the way down his shaft. Tangling his hands in her wild hair, he halted her mouth.

"You have to stop," he warned her, not managing to yet open his brown eyes.

Jeans covering her bottom half, she straddled him and he opened his eyes. She pulled her shirt up and over her head, leaving Jack staring at her bra covered breasts. Leaning down, she hovered over him, her breasts practically swinging in his face. "It's been awhile, hasn't it Jack?" she whispered into his ear, though he was sure by now she wanted it just as badly as he.

Somehow he managed to drive his hands to her waist to work the button on her jeans as she ground her hips against him. He was practically panting now, and he wasn't sure how long he could hold himself back from pushing inside of her the moment he got the chance. Urging her to raise to her knees, he pulled her jeans down, taking her black panties with them. He buried his face in her chest, reaching behind her to unclasp the remaining garment, and finally she moaned.

He had the undeniable urge to touch her everywhere, as if somehow it would make up for lost time. He squeezed her breasts playfully, rolling her nipples between his fingers before replacing them with his hot mouth, as his hands traveled downward. He finally came in contact with her, and smiled when he felt the wetness. Sliding two fingers inside easily, he felt her tense.

"It's been awhile, huh?" he teased her just as she had done to him. His other hand flicked her clit, and he played with her until he felt her start to go over the edge. Then, he pulled back, leaving her with a disappointed look on her face.

"Jack," she pouted.

He took a bud in his mouth again. "What are you going to do about it?" he asked her huskily, still teasing her clit lightly. He groaned when he saw her reach down to her center, rubbing herself steadily.

Finally he lined himself up with her entrance and she sunk down on him, still rubbing circles on her bundle of nerves. He groaned loudly and stilled her hips. She felt so much tighter. It felt like the first time. Watching her touch herself, he could barely hold himself back. He bucked his hips up, sending himself seemingly even deeper inside her, and she whimpered.

Kate leaned forward so she was almost touching his chest, still working herself. "Is this what you did while we were apart?" he asked her sexily. "Was it?" he asked again when she didn't respond. She nodded meagerly.

"It's so fucking hot," he breathed, as he sped up his movements. They both knew it wouldn't last long, as she rocked her hips over his, meeting his thrusts. Jack moved her hands away from her center, replacing them with his own, as she collapsed against his neck. He flipped them over, increasing his pace a little, just enough to send her flying over the edge. He felt her walls contract around him like a vice, as her legs wrapped tightly around his back and he couldn't take it anymore. He pumped his hips into her a few more times and came hard, collapsing on a smiling Kate.

They kissed sloppily and he settled his head into the crook of her neck. "Oh God," he breathed out finally. "Good thing I'm not going with you tomorrow, I don't think I'd be able to make it anyway," he joked with her, his breath huffing into her neck.

She smacked his back lightly but then cradled his head into her. "I love you so much," she told him, loud, boldly almost. "No one else would be here with me."

"Well no one else loves you as much as I love you," he told her simply, nuzzling into the scent of her chest.

"So... tomorrow?" he asked her after a long break of silence. They were almost asleep by now.

"Yep," she nodded. "Tomorrow."


	23. Back Home

Back Home

"What are you doing here?"

Beth, her aunt, stepped outside and closed the door behind her. She looked different than the last time she'd seen her- she had aged and her face looked weary.

"Your mom is right inside! She doesn't know I told you."

Kate stood in silence. Would she stop her from seeing her own mother? "Sawyer ran into her the other day," she paused, her voice starting to waiver. She'd promised herself it wouldn't be like this, that she wouldn't show them what they'd done to her. "Said she asked about me." Kate looked up and met her aunt's eyes, which were starting to soften.

Suddenly she felt herself being pulled into a hug, and despite everything Beth had done, all of the secrets she kept that had seemed unforgivable at one time, Kate hugged the older woman back.

"You're really beautiful, Katie," her aunt told her. Beth was the only person she'd ever let call her that, and she couldn't help but smile at the reference.

Kate wanted to be angry, she wanted so much to unleash five years worth of pent up fury onto this woman, this lying, manipulative woman, but found she'd take her one way or the other. Beth was her family, and at this point, she couldn't be sure if she'd be the only one.

Kate pulled away from her aunt's larger frame. "Can I please see her?"

"Katie, even if I said no, there's never been any stopping you." She stopped and looked over the exterior of the house. "It's an okay place, huh?"

Sawyer had told her the address earlier that morning, and when she'd arrived, anxious and shaking, she'd let out an unconscious breath when Beth had answered the door and not her mother. The look of shock on her aunt's face was quickly replaced with her harsh first words. '_What are you doing here?' _replayed in her mind several times over. What was she doing here? Would there be some kind of magical fix? Jack had decided to give her some space and planned on hanging around their hotel room, or maybe walking around the town. He made her promise to call when she was finished, but how soon would that be?

She made a shaky move to walk inside, but stopped when a soft hand touched her arm. "She might not... be ready for this, okay? Don't take anything too personally..."

"She couldn't hurt me any more than she already has," Kate bit back, and strode inside.

The house smelled like her mother; some combination of unknown scents that made up her childhood, but now with an entirely different set of circumstances. Her childhood was full of happiness, imaginary friends, hope. Despair and heaviness lingered in this foreign air, like it had somehow mimicked her life. The screen door slammed behind her, but nothing was made of it. She looked around, not yet ready to give herself up. If she'd thought her mother had left all traces of her behind, she'd been wrong. Hanging slightly crooked on the wall were two framed photos of her and her mother. The second had been taken on her 16th birthday- just before she'd left. Perhaps sixteen really was the end of innocence.

Then she saw her, sitting with her back to her in an old recliner, reading a magazine, the TV in front of her blaring those cheesy soap operas she'd always liked. Some things never changed. From the back, Kate could tell her hair was a softer shade of blond and a bit shorter, but she looked mostly the same. The again, people never seemed any different until you looked into their eyes.

"Is the mail here yet?" she yelled out, still not turning in the chair. Kate froze behind her. "Beth?" she tried again.

Diane felt the presence behind her and turned her neck. Her face froze. "Katherine?" She sounded almost as emotionless as Kate had always imagined. "What are you doing here?"

That damned question. Why couldn't there have been tears of joy, why couldn't her mother have pulled her into her arms and never let go?

Kate cleared her throat, staring into her mother's eyes for what felt like the first time. "Umm, yeah," she stuttered redundantly. "It's me."

Diane stood from her chair and backed away. "How... how did you find me? Why?"

Boldly she took a step forward, flinching when her mother took one more step back. "Sawyer," she told her simply. "So you're back," Kate finally said. Before she'd come to the house there were hundreds of questions floating around in her mind, but now that she was here, in front of the woman who'd hurt her so badly, she couldn't bring herself to conjure them. Sidetracking those thoughts was the actual form of her mother, her cold eyes and pale face, her thin frame just as thin as it'd been when she left.

"For good?" she asked after her first question had elicited no response. The dam in her broke and her tears came running down her cheeks. Kate could do nothing but hunch down on the floor, her hands trying to cover her wet face. This was exactly what she hadn't wanted to happen.

Clearly Diane's motherly instinct had come back in full force, as she moved to her daughter, essentially a stranger, and wrapped her in her arms, running her hand up and down her back. Kate wanted to savor the feeling, wanted nothing more than to hug her back and let her mother assure her everything would be fine, but instead found herself recoiling from her touch.

"No," she sobbed out. "Don't touch me!" She pulled away from her and her whole body felt infected from the woman's touch. "Get off of me." She knew she probably didn't make much sense. Looking up into her mom's eyes, she saw the bewildered look that had almost possessed them.

"I came here..." she started, more emotion rushing out of her, "to find out why you left. How you could be so selfish to just pick up and leave without me! I didn't come here to try and fix this!" Her hands were motioning quickly, and with chopped motions as if to convene her seriousness. "What did I ever do to you?" Kate whispered, her tears seemingly drying in an instant. She crossed her arms in front of her and physically closed herself off.

Diane walked towards her with confident steps and gripped each of Kate's arms in her hands. Stubbornly Kate tried to pull back. "You're better off without me."

Backing up flat against the wall behind her, Kate bit her lip to prevent more tears from falling. "How could you say that? How was I better off? All by myself when I was sixteen years old! I was supposed to be writing in my diary, and listening to music, and... and hanging out with my friends, not trying to figure out how to pay the bills!" Clenching her fists, Kate became aware that she was shaking, and it made her even angrier to see the small smiling playing on the other woman's face.

"Trust me, Katherine. You _are_ better off without me," she said sadly, slowly, almost unapologetically. "If I would've stayed, you would've stayed."

"So that's it?" She threw her hands up in the air in disbelief. "Because I would've _stayed_?"

Diane shook her head. "I'm," the older woman hesitated, closing her eyes, "I'm not the kind of person you need in your life. I'd only hurt you more... but look at you now! Sawyer told me what you've been up to." A pregnant pause hung in the air. "I'm proud of you," she tried, and smiled again.

Kate backed away, brushing against Beth on her way out. "You're right. In your own _selfish _way, you're right." Her mother's wide eyes questioned her. "I _am _better off without you." Yanking open the door, her mother called after her.

"Katherine!" she tried. "I'm going to make this right!" The first desperate tone flashed in her voice, and it was almost enough to make her turn around. There was almost enough urgency and regret packed into those six words to make her believe it could be better.

"Don't bother!" she yelled back, and let out a choked sob when the cold wall of air hit her from outside. As she walked, her body decompressed, and she wanted nothing more than to let out a grateful sigh. It was over. It wasn't the way she wanted it to be, but it was over, at last. No more wondering.

* * *

"Freckles would get a kick out of this, wouldn't she?" Sawyer lined himself up, stretching himself over the pool table. "Us two hanging out? Corner pocket," he called out, and whooped when the ball sank into the hole.

They were at one of the local bars, despite the fact that it was barely past noon. Surprisingly the grungy establishment had several customers, mostly men dressed in flannel shirts and dirty jeans. Jack stuck out like a sore thumb, but that was hardly his worry at the moment. His cell phone was lodged in the front pocket of his pants and set to vibrate, so he'd be sure to know when Kate called.

"Hey," Sawyer snapped, sensing his distraction. "You're up."

"Yeah. Sorry." He tried thinking of the game at hand and managed to make two shots in a row before Sawyer spoke again.

"She's fine," he told him, taking a long swig from his beer. "Freckles has always taken care of herself." The blue-eyed man glared at him. "Nothin's stoppin' her this time, either."

They stayed at the bar for another few hours, until Jack's couldn't contain his curiosity any longer. He pulled his phone from his pocket, one of the many times he'd done that afternoon, just to make sure he hadn't missed anything. He hadn't.

"Don't do it," Sawyer warned him. "Let's go. Maybe she's waiting at my place or at the hotel."

She was at the latter, sprawled out on the large bed, flat on her back. Jack closed the door tightly behind him and clicked the lock. Kate didn't move, as her eyes transfixed on the ceiling. She wished it had some sort of pattern stamped into it, so she could at least pretend to think about something else.

Jack had long ago guessed it hadn't gone well, and even found himself questioning if she'd made it to see her mom. He knew how easily she could waste time, daydreaming, lying in the grass or staring at the clouds, and wondered if she'd faced her fears or done the same today.

"Hey," he called out softly, trying not to scare her. He sat next to her on the bed, and not even the sinking of the mattress under his weight could make her move.

"Hey," she replied dreamily. "I was wondering when you'd get back."

"How long have you been here?" he asked her, worried, crinkling his forehead. Running his hands lightly on her wrists, she finally broke her gaze with the ceiling.

The pain in her eyes shone through, although she tried to mask it. "Few hours. What did you do all day?"

He laid back on the bed with her, absently playing with her hair, finding himself caught up in the whiteness above too. "So, uhh..." he struggled. "How did it go?" He settled on an even tone, a vague question.

Kate's eyes closed and she bit her lip. "Just like I thought it would."

He turned and held himself up with an elbow, laying on his side. "What happened?"

Her face crinkled up and small tears rolled from the corner of her eyes. "She told me I'm better off without her," the now fragile looking woman told him softly. "She doesn't want me, Jack. She wants nothing to do with me..."

Jack could do nothing but listen to her, smoothing a comforting hand through her hair and urging her to continue. "She thinks she did it for me, to help me or something," she cried, her tone turning harsher by the minute. "I shouldn't have come here," she tried.

"Kate?" he whispered to her.

Her eyes were still closed and her cheeks were red with emotion. "What?" she replied, just as softly.

"Are you happy you did it?"

She said nothing, but nodded her head just barely, as she accepted his warm side. "Get some sleep."

Jack stayed with her until her breathing slowed and a content look was once again present on her face. He sneaked out from under her hold on him, and scrawled a quick note, disappearing into the darkness that awaited outside.

* * *

Kate would probably hate him for this, he thought, but walked the beaten path he'd noticed in the daylight nonetheless. He could see why she wanted to escape this place. It was dusty and desolate, and everything seemed gray, even in the bright sun. She would've left even if her mom hadn't abandoned her, he was sure of it. Kate had too much ambition, too much pride to stay in a place like this, a place that would only hold her back. It still haunted her, even when she was hundreds of miles in a big, hurried city that couldn't be more different from this small, seemingly empty town he was walking.

Maybe he'd cause more trouble than it was worth, but what if he didn't? What if he could actually do something to help her, instead of lending her a shoulder to cry on, or being there to listen to her? Falling in love with Kate had almost happened over night- he'd really, really liked her, and then one moment realized he was completely in love with her. He'd do anything for her, even if it meant she might hate him for it.

Somehow, even with the darkness of the early night and the unfamiliar land, he came to his destination. It too was simple, he noticed before he approached. Was this the right thing to do? No, he reminded himself- it was the _only _thing to do.

An outside light flickered on when he knocked. "I don't want to buy anything," the woman told him, standing possessively with her body between the door and the frame.

"I'm not trying to sell anything." He was quiet for a moment, hoping that she wouldn't shut the door in his face at his next question.

"Listen, I don't have all the time in the world, what do you need?" The woman was becoming impatient. He was beginning to see so many similarities...

Jack fumbled with his hands in front of him. "Are you Kate's mom?" He wanted to cringe after the words left his mouth. The blond woman in front of him tried to speak, but he didn't need her to.

"Hi," he said, in the calmest voice he could muster, "I'm Jack."


	24. Secrets Can't Last Forever

_This story has become very frustrating to me... I'm not going to complain about reviews, because from my experience, if people like the story enough, they'll review, regardless of how much I beg. So obviously this has something to do with me and the direction of the story, but nonetheless, I'm going to be finishing it out, probably within a couple of chapters, because the writer in me just won't let a story completely die! Oh, and on a happier note... I hope you all enjoyed the new episode tonight as much as I did!_

Secrets Can't Last Forever...

"Did she send you here?" Diane still wedged herself between the door defensively. "She doesn't want to listen to me..."

"She doesn't know I'm here," he told her quietly, in thought. Now he was here- great, but what would he say? What made him think he could change her mind in the first place? "She's sleeping at the hotel."

Jack didn't want to feel sorry for her, but the woman's wide, sad eyes reminded him so much of Kate's and he thought perhaps there was more to the story than the one side he'd heard. The blond woman looked as though she'd been crying, as if the sour look on her face was stuck there as a reminder of what she'd done.

"So who are you anyway?"

"Jack Shephard," he told her, holding himself back from reaching out to shake her hand. It felt awkward. "Kate's boyfriend."

Although his reason for meeting Kate's mom was a far cry from the circumstances under which she'd met his parents, in that moment he came to understand the scrutiny. It struck him as ironic that both of their mothers were hardly the type of people who had the right to judge, yet it seemed it was what they were best at.

"What's it to you?" he asked rather brashly. He wasn't there to make friends.

Diane rested her hands on her hips. "My prerogative," she said rather absently.

He laughed in her face, so sarcastic and bitter that its intention couldn't be confused. "Last time I checked you gave up that right a long time ago."

She seemed to like the fight in him, or maybe it was her desperateness to explain herself, but nonetheless she opened the door.

"Come in."

The house was neat and clean, though rather plain. Jack couldn't be sure if it was all what he was expecting- Diane, the house, the town. Two pictures of a younger Kate with Diane stared him in the face and he unknowingly smiled slightly at them. She looked so happy, with her arms thrown around Diane's neck, seated behind a birthday cake. He counted sixteen candles sticking out from the frosting.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Diane asked him softly. "Even more now. I can't believe how much she's grown up."

"Well that tends to happen over the course of five years," he said sarcastically, denying her offer of a seat on the stony looking couch.

He stood awkwardly, taking in his surroundings, while Kate's mother sat stiffly in an armchair.

"So why are you here if all you're going to do is accuse me of things?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really know." He paused, glancing down at his feet and suddenly becoming interested in the grained pattern on the wood floor. "You know, when I met her I just thought she had some commitment issues, or wasn't ready for a relationship." He laughed. "Turns out I was right, but it took me awhile to figure out why."

Diane nodded, settling her gaze on her lap.

"And you know what? She won't let me make promises to her, she won't let me completely in, and it's because of you..."

"Jack," she stopped him. "Don't you think I've thought about what I did _every _single day? I never stop thinking about her, and I never stopped wondering how she was."

He crossed the room and stood a few feet in front of her. He wanted to see her tell the truth. "You know what I'm going to ask you," he pointed out.

Diane raised her eyebrows at him. "So ask."

"Why? Why would you leave someone like Kate?" he stressed. "I haven't even known her for a year and I've already figured out she's the best thing that's ever happened to me." Jack finally sat down on the small ottoman that was across from the chair. His large frame looked absurd compared to the smallness of the furniture.

"Katherine always was too good for me. Too good to be true, anyway."

He sighed and suddenly understood where Kate's stubborn streak came from.

"She didn't seem to think so."

Diane shook her head. "She would've found out... she's going to find out, Jack." If before she was stubborn, now she was scared.

"Find out what? What is so bad that you had to run away to keep it from her?" Shining with concern, his eyes now locked with hers. They were gray, he noticed, and just like everything else about this place, they seemed dull and lifeless.

Silence told him everything he needed to know- she wasn't going to tell him. Maybe Diane had it right, maybe he didn't deserve to find out before Kate did. But find out _what_? The question ate away at his conscious, and it was all he could do to stop himself from pestering her about it.

Finally she spoke. "Can you get her to come back here?" Emotion cracked through her voice, and suddenly all of the boundaries she'd walled up around herself came crashing down. "Just get her to come back here. Please?"

* * *

Kate was still sleeping when he arrived back at the hotel, although it looked fitful. The walk back should have given him plenty of time to come up with a reason to send Kate back to her mother's, but nothing that came to him sounded natural. No matter what way he went about it, she would probably feel betrayed. Perhaps he'd acted a little too quickly and on impulse, but whatever happened, he hoped more than anything it was worth it.

The buzzing in his pocket distracted him from staring at his sleeping girlfriend. The area code indicated the call was being placed in New York City- Manhattan more specifically. Flipping open the phone, he answered a bit uneasily.

"Hello?"

"Jack. Oh thank God you answered."

"Mom?" Walking into the hallway, he clicked the door shut behind him as to not disturb Kate. "What's wrong?" he immediately asked.

There was a slight pause over the line and it made him nervous. "Your father is in the hospital."

He felt a searing pain run through him. Why was everything going so wrong in his life? What had he done to deserve this? And his father wasn't perfect, but what did _he _do to deserve what was happening to him?

"It's bad, Jack." For the first time in years, he heard his normally confident, assured mother's voice waiver. "The pneumonia is back and this time..."

"Are you trying to tell me to come home?" he asked her, his voice now hushed but cracked with sympathy. "Do I need to be there..." he tried, feeling his throat close up.

"Soon," she interrupted him quietly. "You need to be here soon."

Drawing in a shaky breath, he let it loose into the phone, at that point not caring if the whole world saw or heard him breaking down. "Tell dad I love him, okay?" he managed to choke out.

"Of course." She paused on the line, hearing her son, who'd always tried to hide his emotions from her, cry for his father. It seemed like he'd just gotten to know him. "And Jack?" Margo paused again, letting out a soft sob, "I love you. Your father and I love you so much. Don't ever forget that."

Ignoring the slight stares of several hotel guests walking down the hallway, Jack tried to gather himself before going back inside. How long he sat there with his back against the wall, he wasn't sure. When all the tears had dried on his face and his eyes had become less red, he slipped the key card through the slot and went back inside the carpeted room.

Kate was awake now, sitting up on the bed, legs crossed. "What's wrong?" she asked immediately, sensing something within him.

He couldn't answer her, so when she rose from the bed, he grabbed onto her tight, burying his head into her shoulder. She held him just as fiercely, and it occurred to him for the first time that maybe they had been brought together to heal each other, to help each other, that maybe everything wasn't _supposed _to be okay. He found his fingers gripping any part of her he could reach, pulling her as close as possible, and he felt the palming of her hands on his back, on his waist, finally cradling his head into her.

"The pneumonia's back," he said shallowly. "My mom said..."

Nodding against him she pulled back a little and held his face in her hands. She'd been too consumed in her own issues to even think about Christian for the past day or so, and a feeling of dread sank into her.

"She said I need to be home... soon," he added, and it tore her apart to see the tears rolling down his cheeks. "They don't think," he started, clearing the ever present block in his throat, "that, umm, that he's going to make it."

"We'll leave in the morning," she whispered. It no longer mattered why she came here, or the little progress she'd made. It was as good as over, anyway. "I'm sorry," she whispered to him, letting her own tears for Christian fall.

Instead of the appreciation Kate expected to receive from him, she saw him shake his head. "No, Kate, I can't let you leave when you've come all the way out here. I'll catch a flight in the morning and you... you can come back when you're ready."

She sat on the bed again, defeated. What more could she do here other than make herself more crazy about the situation with her so-called mother?

"I would never feel right letting you go like this. I want to be there for your dad," she told him, and the first wave of reality hit her- Christian could- probably would, according to some, be gone soon. "I want to be there for you."

Sitting beside her on the hard bed, he laced his hand in hers. "I went to your mom's house earlier." he admitted, changing the subject entirely. On her shocked look, he continued, "You need to go back and talk to her, Kate. That's... that's why I can't just let you give up."

"What?"

"Please just trust me. I don't know the whole story, and frankly it isn't my right to know before you, and maybe not at all if that's the way you want it, but whatever she wanted to tell me..."

Kate found herself as surprised as Jack looked that she wasn't angry with him for seeing her mother behind her back. "Why she left?" He nodded at her.

"Okay," she hinted to him.

The large, glowing red numbers of the alarm clock on the bedside table told her that the night was still young, and if her mother was still the creature of habit she'd always known her to be, she'd probably be watching reruns of Law & Order on TV.

"I want to get this over with," she argued with him as she gathered her things, in the process of placing a phone call to Sawyer so he could come pick her up.

"Why are you doing this now? Can't it wait?"

She knew how emotional he was, and that he had every right to be, but still found that getting angry with him was possible.

"No, Jack, in case you hadn't noticed, it can't. Because I need this to be over. I need my explanation, and then I need to leave, with you. I didn't come here to try and fix everything, I came here because I can't stand _wondering_ all the time!" She was ranting, and he sat back and took it. "Some things are just beyond apologies... there are some things that I can't forgive, and that includes what my mother did. I just need closure... good or bad. Is that alright with you?" she asked him a bit more sarcastically that she'd meant.

Rubbing his hands through his hair, he let out a sigh, feeling like everything they'd worked up to was rushing ahead of them, that somehow they would never be able to catch up with their problems. "We'll fly out in the morning."

Kate stood between his legs as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Thank you," she whispered lovingly to him. "For everything." She gave him a kiss, intending for it to be short, but they both drew in the comfort of one another.

"Come with me?" she suggested hopefully, after they'd pulled away from each other.

* * *

Somehow it felt better going back to that place, and Kate wasn't sure if it was because Jack was by her side or because she was finally going to know that one final, nagging point. _Why._

Diane looked more grateful than surprised when she opened the door to reveal the pair. Jack shared a surprisingly warm look with her, and though he knew how important this was to Kate, he was distracted by the news his own mother had provided.

"Thank you," Diane mouthed to him as they walked into the living room.

Kate didn't want to put up the fight she had earlier in the day. She just wanted to know, and hoped this wouldn't be a case of false promises.

"So I think you have something to tell me," Kate said evenly, formally, and it felt strange to talk to her mother in such a way, even if "mother" was a loose term.

Diane looked at Jack for confirmation. "I never wanted to leave you, Katherine. I promise," she told her sincerely. "I just- I had to... so you would hate me for that instead of something else."

"You never gave me any reason to hate you before," Kate said, tears threatening to spill over and onto her cheeks. Sometimes, she figured, it didn't matter how much you willed your brain not to care- your heart would decide for you in the end. "So why? What could possibly be so bad to make you abandon me?"

Diane remained standing before them. Sitting implied relaxation, and tension was strung high through the room. "I held on for too long," she cried. "I should've never let it go on for that long," she tried, but the more she spoke the more confused Kate became. "It's my fault for falling in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you."

"Mom," Kate let slip, pleading with her, and Diane met her eyes, a glimmer of hope in them.

"Please don't hate me more for this. Please," she begged. "I couldn't take it."

Kate's eyes searched the room. She couldn't promise this woman anything. Jack squeezed her hand and she was suddenly grateful for his presence.

"I left because I didn't want you to find out... that you never actually belonged to me, Katherine. No matter how long, or, or how hard I wished it, I couldn't make you mine."

What was she saying? A panic heightened inside of Kate, and she found herself shaking.

"I left because I couldn't keep claiming someone who wasn't mine, I was so selfish that I couldn't keep loving you. I made it about _me_. See why you're better off without me?" she said, still quietly. "I'm not really your mother, Katherine," the blond woman told her deliberately, with such sadness taking over her body.

"She's out there somewhere, but she's not me."


	25. Something I Learned Today

_It's been awhile, I know:) I'm fairly happy with this chapter, hope you all enjoy it to, or at least try to... (you'll see). Review, only one more chapter left!_

For some reason, even though the woman she'd called her mother for most of her life had just told her she in fact wasn't, Kate couldn't quite get it through her head.

"Your father," Diane started, "Had someone else. Your mother." Kate gave her a puzzled look while Jack stood behind her, frozen in the fear of what would surely unravel. "While we were together."

Kate turned around, brushing by Jack quickly. Diane followed her, and Jack thought it was best to stay out of the situation.

"I know now that I should've just told you," the blond said after she'd caught up with her in driveway. Kate stopped and put her hands on her hips. "And your father and I had planned to, but then _he _left and you really weren't mine!" The older woman covered her face with her hands and then grabbed Kate by the wrist, hurt when she recoiled from the touch. Frankly she was shocked to be met with such silence from Kate, who had never bothered to edit her opinions before. Maybe more had changed than she'd previously thought.

Reacting to the touch she'd wanted for so long, until all of this, Kate tugged her forearm away from Diane's wrist, rubbing it with her free hand.

"You know that your father and I didn't have the best history, Katherine." Her eyes were pleading with Kate's. "But I thought I was doing the right thing, and then Joan, the woman your father was with, had you and took off. Then your dad left, too when you were older, but still not old enough to understand... and there I was, with this beautiful little girl. I couldn't give you up."

Countless questions danced through Kate's mind, but she managed only to speak one. "I'm not arguing with that," she pointed out.

"I want to explain everything-"

"You already have. Don't bother."

"There's- there's more to it, Kate!" Diane yelled after her when she'd yet again begun to walk away, feeling strange to call her what everyone else did, when she'd always been 'Katherine' to her. "When I left," she said, as calmly as possible, when Kate had faced her again, looking more disapproving than ever, "Your father had just contacted me again. Threatened to hurt you if I didn't leave."

"Why? He left us when I was four! What would make him want to come back into my life?"

Suddenly tears spilled over Diane's face. "I was so afraid of him. And he knew that... he just wasn't done messing up our lives. So I did what he said, the morning after he showed up and held a knife to my throat at the house. You weren't there," she added. "He said that Joan... your real mother- wanted you. I couldn't be there when they took you away from me."

Kate looked at her, her eyes icy. "I was wrong, I know. I know that now. They never tried anything with you, did they?"

She shook her head slowly. "And I know all kinds of things now, Katherine, like how I should've gone to the police, how I never- no matter what, should've left you, how I should've stood up to him, how he never should've been in our lives in the first place..." she trailed off. "I know that now, and that- that has to be enough for you." She met her daughter's green eyes, hoping that maybe, after all of this, Kate would still consider her as a mother. The silence broke her by the second as she tried to brace herself for harsh words.

"It's not," Kate said softly. "It's not enough."

"I don't know what else-" Diane started, but was interrupted.

"But I don't think anything you told me would have been," Kate explained. "I don't know how to say this..." Standing awkwardly with her arms crossed in front of her, she looked down at the flat pavement of the driveway beneath her. "Look, Jack's dad, he's... really sick, and we have to get back to New York," Kate said, seeing Diane's face fall.

"Okay," she mostly whispered.

"But," Kate hesitated, "I want to get your phone number. And maybe I'll call you. Maybe I won't," she offered. "I can't promise you anything, not after all of this, but maybe someday I'll think you're worth it."

Somehow Kate felt relieved. What followed in their relationship was up to her. Finally.

"And," she continued, because somehow she felt like she owed it to her, "I'll never consider this Joan lady my mother. That will always be you, for better or worse."

"Thank you," her mother offered, head ducked. "I have to say that I'm surprised though- that you're even considering any of this," Diane told her choppily.

Kate involuntarily half-smiled, thinking of Jack and Christian. They'd changed her. "Yeah. Me too. But I figure that if I can find some way to get through this, then I can get through anything."

"You always could."

Twirling pieces of her hair absently through her fingers, Kate rocked on her heels, not sure what to say next. "I, umm, I'm going to go inside and get Jack," she said pointedly.

When she opened the screen door Kate found him a few steps away, caught up in the pictures of her with Diane. She rested her hands lightly on his sides, hoping not to scare him.

"Hey," he said, though his eyes were full of questions she silently let him know he'd find out about later.

"Let's go," she told him, surprised by the lightness in her voice, but most of all the lightness, the relief she felt inside.

"Are you sure?" he asked her, putting a hand on her shoulder to steady her.

"Yes," Kate told him almost immediately, and he could tell she meant it. "I know everything, and that's enough," she said softly, smiling shyly at him to his surprise. She seemed so... different, more assured.

Diane entered silently, scrawling her phone number down on a piece of paper and watching Kate with Jack out of the corner of her eye. She watched as he put his hand to her cheek and talked to her softly, and she was touched, maybe a little jealous, that Kate had managed to find someone she never had- a caring man. The two noticed her when she stood in the doorway for a moment, turning towards her.

"So... yeah, I guess we're going to take off." Kate didn't know how to say goodbye. She hadn't been given the chance before.

Diane sensed this and pressed the piece of paper with her number on it into Kate's palm. "I'll be here," she told her. "Whenever, if ever..."

Kate took a step forward, though she wasn't sure why. She couldn't be sure if it would be the last time she'd look into the eyes of her mother, see her short hair and her tired face. "Okay," she said with a small smile. "I'll keep it safe."

It was hard to tear her eyes from the woman she'd grown up with and gone through so much with, but this time, Kate knew, she'd be there the next time she came home. She gave her one last unfamiliar half-smile and pushed the door open in front of her. Jack followed but gave Diane the same grateful glance when he left. Even though he didn't know what had happened, he knew that Kate seemed different, _felt_ different if it was possible.

They walked a few minutes in silence, only guessing what would come next. Sawyer took them back to the hotel, bidding his goodbyes and wishing them well in his own special way.

"I never thought I'd say this, Sawyer, but thank you so much for all you've done," she told him thankfully, leaning on the outside of car and speaking into the open window once they'd reached the hotel.

"No problem, Freckles. Maybe I'll come visit ya again?" He winked when she gave him a disapproving glance. "Jack," he nodded, and Jack did the same.

"Flight's at nine," Jack told her when he came back up to the room, where Kate was flopped back on the bed. Patting the spot beside her, she scooted over to make room for him. He dropped his head back on the pillow, exhausted, and felt Kate stroking his forehead in a relaxed manner.

"So what happened?" he asked her tentatively, keeping his eyes closed. Once she'd told him, she snuggled her head on his chest and let out a deep breath.

"I'm happy for you," he whispered softly, lovingly, wanting desperately to concentrate on Kate's newfound truths. She rolled over on him, warm body against warm body and kissed him lightly, craving the closeness that it brought. Resting her cheek against his, she asked him, "How is he?"

Jack sighed into her hair. "No change." He wasn't sure if that fact was good or bad- was he fighting or suffering? "Talked to my mom when I looked up the flight. She thought it was best if we were back by the afternoon."

"Kate?" he asked after awhile, feeling himself slip.

"Hmm?" Her breathing was slowed and pointed at his neck.

"Can we just sleep?" When he heard no response Jack looked down the best he could, seeing her face relaxed into him, clearly asleep.

She woke him in the morning with a start, sitting up quickly and hitting his chest quite heavily. "Jack!" she hissed. "Get up, we're going to miss our flight." They ran around the hotel room, stuffing their possessions into their bags and rushing to the cab they'd called.

They just made their plane, sitting mostly in silence. Oddly enough, there was a lot to talk about, but neither felt the need. Kate had her mother if she so wanted. Jack was losing his dad, and there was nothing he could do about it. What was there to say?

When they landed, they put their bags in the trunk of Jack's car and went straight to the hospital. Margo greeted them heartedly, with none of her usual uptight attitude, embracing Jack quickly and nodding pointedly, appreciatively, at Kate.

"He'll be happy to see you," she told them, and Kate could've sworn she meant both of them.

Jack walked in first and almost turned right around. His eyes were closed and his breathing labored, even with the oxygen mask strapped to his face. Christian was pale- paler that Jack ever remembered seeing him. Somehow, even holing himself up in operating rooms for most of his life, his father had always managed to keep that glow. Approaching the bed slowly, he sat down in the chair and felt for his father's hand, holding it tightly. Christian opened his eyes at the contact and smiled as largely as he could given the constraints of the mask.

"Jack," he said, louder than anyone would've thought possible. He supposed that, even in this state, his father would always be somewhat intimidating.

He squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to blink away the tears that were threatening increasingly. "I brought someone with me," he laughed, shifting so Kate came into Christian's view. Kate smiled sadly at him, placing her hand on top of his and Jack's. Margo held his other hand and rubbed her thumb over it comfortingly.

"I knew I could talk some sense into you kids," he joked, coughing lightly.

"You were right," Kate told him. "You usually are."

Christian shook his head. "Maybe lately. But I've had a lot to make up for," he said, looking at Margo and Jack decidedly. After a few deep breaths, he took the mask off, despite the warnings he heard from all three.

"I'd like to talk with Jack if you ladies don't mind," he told them with a small smile. Kate's eyes clouded with tears as she and Margo left, and to her great surprise, she felt Margo's hand reach for her own, giving it a squeeze.

Jack and Christian saw this, raising their eyebrows at each other. "I guess... she's had a change of heart," he said slowly about his wife. "Jack... I don't really know what I expected to say to you. I never thought this day would come," he admitted.

"Don't say that. You could... you could still-"

"Jack," his father whispered. "I can't still... I can't do anything." Jack was hesitant to look up, his tears instantly rolling down his cheeks when his brown eyes met his father's wet, glassy ones.

"I just want you to promise me something. A lot of things actually." Jack nodded, knowing that anything his father asked him, he would do. How he had changed, from the son who dismayed his father, to now, the son who would do anything to hold onto him. "Promise me that you'll look out for your mother, keep her in line," the older man added with a chuckle. "Make sure she doesn't claw away at Kate, because I want you to hold onto her, too." His father gave him a long glance.

"Okay," Jack sniffled.

"And Jack?" He paused, searching for his words. "All of your life I've... I've pushed you. And I regret it, and before you cut in and tell me I'm wrong... I just want you to promise me that you'll do what's best for you. I want nothing more than for you to be happy, for you to turn into the successful man that I know you can be, one that I've hopefully raised that way." His words were soft and a bit breathy, but measured and poignant.

Jack ducked his head and pushed it into his hands, trying to control the shaking of his body as his father reached out a hand to his back. "I will," he promised as best as he could, through the wracking of his frame.

"Dad, I-" he started, before Christian clenched his hand on his shoulder.

"Let me- I haven't told you nearly enough," he said through his own emotion filled voice, wavering. "I love you Jack, from the minute I found out your mother was pregnant, maybe even before, just the idea of you. And I still love you now, and I will forever, no matter happens after I'm gone..."

Jack would've been lying if his fathers words, however heartfelt, weren't still a bit awkward, but he raised his watery eyes to meet his father's and nodded, his mouth in a tight line. "I love you too, dad," he admitted shakily. He felt like a baby for crying, for professing his love like a little child being tucked into bed, but he realized he'd have it no other way.

Horrible things had manifested from this disease- chemotherapy, pneumonia, sleepless nights, but Jack had never imagined there'd be a positive from it all. He'd learned to love his father.


	26. Worth It

Worth It

"What're you doing?" Kate asked him coyly, feeling Jack's palm wrap tightly around her lower hip and squeeze playfully. She was leaning against him heavily on the couch. They had been watching a movie, until Jack got other ideas.

"What do you think I'm doing?" he mumbled into her shoulder, burrowing his face there and using his free hand to guide her face towards his. He looked up at her, his eyes warm. He looked happy, so she smiled back at him genuinely and kissed him lightly, grazing her lips against his until he captured them fully, teasing her by nipping softly at her bottom lip with his teeth.

She let her mouth open against his and deepen their lock, getting lost in him like she always seemed to. She loved kissing him, the feeling of his lips against hers, the pull they had towards each other, how he always knew what she liked. Jack's fingers danced along the delicate skin around her waist, slipping under her shirt and grazing upwards, giving her shivers. She felt him tug at her shirt and couldn't help but look at him skeptically.

"What?"

"I just- I just didn't think you'd want..."

"Am I allowed to not think about it for five minutes?" He hadn't meant to sound offended, but he realized he came off as such, so he held her wrists gently and pulled her back to him, whispering against her mouth, "Because all I'm thinking about right now is you."

Backing away from him, Kate smirked and pulled her shirt over her head, taking in his smile after the action and lying on top of him, kissing him deeply, lovingly, with need. She unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his chest and down his stomach, hearing his appreciative sigh when she unzipped his jeans and sneaked her hand through.

And soon after, they were both ready and moaned almost silently as they connected. It seemed like it had been forever. Kate buried her face against his chest, biting down on the skin as he moved below her steadily, sending her into fits. She tightened around him and he kissed her as she did, swallowing her incomprehensible words, pulling away when he lost it himself.

She rested against him and enjoyed the feeling of his fingers stroking her hair absently. She didn't have to look, but she'd bet he was staring at the ceiling. He'd been doing it a lot lately, getting lost in his own thoughts, and sometimes it was hard to snap him out of it.

"We should go," Kate told him eventually, and felt his head nod in affirmation. "It's been awhile."

"I know," he said softly.

"We'll do better," she promised him, smiling up at him and tracing patterns on his shoulders.

Eventually, after they'd showered and gotten redressed, they made their way to Jack's car. It took twenty minutes to get out of the city and into the calmer, greener area as they rode in comfortable silence. When they arrived to the serene, sprawling land, they got out and walked to the site hand in hand.

It didn't matter how many times he'd visited his father's grave- every time he saw the headstone staring back at him, with his father's name engraved onto the surface, it reminded him of how final everything was. Four months had passed since his death, and at first, Jack visited the cemetery almost every day, not quite believing that Christian had been claimed by death. Then, he found himself coming up with excuses- he had too much studying to do, he wasn't spending enough time with Kate, he had his future to worry about, and it was then that Jack felt lighter. He wasn't forgetting about his father- he was remembering him how he should've, alive, and not lying in a grave six feet under in the cold earth.

But this visit felt different. It was sunny and warm, a perfect summer day, and somehow, he was hopeful, almost cheerful as he looked at the dark stone in front of him. It baffled him why he visited the site- he'd never believed in anything other than science, and even when the logical part of his brain told him the morbidity of the situation, it didn't matter. He still wanted to see his father.

"I talk to him sometimes," he admitted to Kate. "I know it's stupid, and that he can't hear me..."

She squeezed his hand. "What makes you so sure he can't?"

He laughed lightly, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "I don't know. I guess you could be right. If he can, he probably wants nothing more than to tell me to shut the hell up..."

"What do you talk to him about?"

Jack blushed slightly. He'd never been one to divulge such details. He was starting to regret that he'd mentioned it at all. "I don't know," he shrugged. "Everything, I guess. I tell him what's happening with school, how mom is doing. I tell him about you," he smiled.

"Did you tell him about med school?"

"Yeah," Jack grinned, thinking about the letter he'd received just a few weeks before, telling him of his acceptance.

"He'd be proud of you... big college graduate, going to med school..." Kate teased him. "I'm just jealous," she admitted. "I wish I was done with undergrad."

"Soon enough," he offered. "I told him about us moving in together, about our new place. I think he'd be happy about that too."

"_I'm_ happy about it," she told him with a smile, kissing him softly.

Christian had passed two days after their return from Iowa. Jack was expecting it, had tried to prepare himself for it, if there was such a thing. Everyone knew his death was imminent, but it had still been the biggest shock of Jack's life. All of sudden, he had no father. He was twenty two years old, and he wasn't supposed to be dealing with this. He'd been in the room with his mother when it happened, feeling the hand he was holding go lax and seeing his chest stop rising and falling. He'd looked at his mother with tears in his eyes and hugged her, so tightly and for so long he thought he'd never let go.

Kate had known when it happened. She wanted to give Jack and his mother their space, and as she was sitting in the waiting room, reading the same line in her book over and over, a sinking feeling overcame her, weighted down her chest, and she knew he was gone. Jack had stayed with his mother for the first few days afterward, and while Kate knew it was probably for the best, and that he needed to be there for her, she wanted nothing more than to bring him home with her and wrap her arms around him. As if it would solve anything. She couldn't imagine what Jack was feeling. She'd known Christian for a few months and she was struggling, grieving from the loss.

Eventually she'd gotten her wish, however selfish it was, when he'd come to her apartment and realized it was silly for him to keep running back to his house, only to pack a bag and return right away.

She spoke and interrupted his trance, but he welcomed it gladly. "So I was thinking we could go shopping later? Get a few things for the apartment?"

He wasn't sure what they were doing, as they stood there staring at his father's grave, talking about normal, every day things like shopping and moving in together, when, bluntly, Christian was rotting in the ground. But it felt normal, and he felt normal, and he wasn't sure whether he should feel guilty or grateful for it. Normal had never felt so good.

Kate laid the flowers onto the bright grass in front of the head stone, pausing to brush her fingertips over the engraving.

"See you soon," she said softly, and Jack smiled at her kindness.

It was hard to imagine that he and Kate had been brought together by such strange circumstances, by a situation that now seemed so trivial but ran his life at the time. There he'd been, worrying more about a single class and his drive for perfection that he'd almost missed her. And then there was his father- and his mother too, he supposed, who had come back into his life under the worst of conditions, not because they wanted to, but because they'd felt they'd had to, that Jack deserved to know. He couldn't believe he used to be so disconnected from his family, so unwilling to accept apologies or give second chances.

But then, he realized, during the worst time of his life, he'd found the people, the love, and the faith that he never wanted to give up. Maybe it hadn't been so bad after all.

_So there it is. That's it! I'm not generally a fan of neat, packaged endings, which is why I decided to do the chapter like this, with enough details that you get the picture, but it's up to you to imagine some of it. I really didn't have it in me to write a depressing chapter on Christian's death, as I felt the focus was on what Jack learned, and what Kate learned beforehand. Anyways, I know that being the last chapter you might not have much incentive to review, but it would be really rewarding to me just to read your thoughts, your overall impressions of the stories, what you liked, what I need to work on, etc. Thanks for being such great readers, for the most part I enjoyed writing this:) I have two other stories I'm working on right now in case you've missed them somehow and are interested!_


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